CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Tangible Hope"A collection of poetry
57 total reviews
Comment from QuietMtnSunrise
Again, great job...even while you've been out sick. I like the imagery where this poem takes the reader. I really felt your message of pain overcome by love and hope. Excellent word choice too.
  |
Again, great job...even while you've been out sick. I like the imagery where this poem takes the reader. I really felt your message of pain overcome by love and hope. Excellent word choice too.
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
Comment from yachtworknz
How sweet. I loved this part-
He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain
Nicely done.
Scott
|
How sweet. I loved this part-
He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain
Nicely done.
Scott
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
Comment from mmichelle97219
But overruled, he took my hand - who overruled? Remove the BUT and tell us who. Love? Hate? Bravery?
And spoke of hope, which lies within - HE spoke of hope... Remove the and it slows you down and makes it wishy washy
Hi, me again. This could be such a powerful, bold piece of poetry. You need to get rid of the cushy conjunctions that are not needed, but soften what should be kick ass lines. I love your work, but this frustrates me a bit. Of course throw my advice away if you like it as is. After all it is just my opinion, and I would never presume to know more than the artist as to how their art should be. I just feel that the bolder, stronger lines hammer the message to the reader better.
Happy Writing
Michelle
 |
But overruled, he took my hand - who overruled? Remove the BUT and tell us who. Love? Hate? Bravery?
And spoke of hope, which lies within - HE spoke of hope... Remove the and it slows you down and makes it wishy washy
Hi, me again. This could be such a powerful, bold piece of poetry. You need to get rid of the cushy conjunctions that are not needed, but soften what should be kick ass lines. I love your work, but this frustrates me a bit. Of course throw my advice away if you like it as is. After all it is just my opinion, and I would never presume to know more than the artist as to how their art should be. I just feel that the bolder, stronger lines hammer the message to the reader better.
Happy Writing
Michelle
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
Comment from rmdelta
'bout time you got well. point out the illness and we'll kick his butt. Cant allow something like that to keep you from us, my friend. This was a beautiful writing and I loved your message. Great work
Reggie
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
|
'bout time you got well. point out the illness and we'll kick his butt. Cant allow something like that to keep you from us, my friend. This was a beautiful writing and I loved your message. Great work
Reggie
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 26-Feb-2009
-
That's my "Man behind the badge" talking! HA!! Put two detectives on this one, rough the scoundrel up a bit and get the collar. LOL!!! Glad you liked this one Reggie! Sue :-))
Comment from sharon fallis
Now this is a lovely and loving poem. Very good bit of writing. Good rhythm and rhyme. I liked the context and the imagery is exemplary. Sharon
|
Now this is a lovely and loving poem. Very good bit of writing. Good rhythm and rhyme. I liked the context and the imagery is exemplary. Sharon
Comment Written 26-Feb-2009
Comment from Amfunny
What a pretty poem. I especially liked this paragraph: He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain
I enjoyed reading this. It was nicely done. The length of the poem was perfect too.
|
What a pretty poem. I especially liked this paragraph: He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain
I enjoyed reading this. It was nicely done. The length of the poem was perfect too.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
Comment from MercyWrites
How beautiful you poem is. I believe you are talking about our Savior, but the third stanza sort threw me and I wasn't sure. He tilted my chin and kiss my lip.
|
How beautiful you poem is. I believe you are talking about our Savior, but the third stanza sort threw me and I wasn't sure. He tilted my chin and kiss my lip.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
Comment from sara-beth
This is beautiful! I especially love that clever rhyme
"He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain"........that is fantastic! Hope you're feeling better!
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
|
This is beautiful! I especially love that clever rhyme
"He tipped my chin and kissed my lips
Clouds emptied with the rain
The sun no longer in eclipse
His presence rids my pain"........that is fantastic! Hope you're feeling better!
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
-
Hi Sara-Beth, yes feeling much better, thank you. So glad you liked that stanza. It was the first stanza of the poem I wrote. Had to build around it. Thank you for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from RapturedHeart
Another deeply stirring poem, SK. This one leaves me wondering just 'who' 'he' is. Reads, at first, like your husband, but the ending seems divine. Beautifully hopeful. Love always brings restoration in its wake. Take care,
Heather
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
|
Another deeply stirring poem, SK. This one leaves me wondering just 'who' 'he' is. Reads, at first, like your husband, but the ending seems divine. Beautifully hopeful. Love always brings restoration in its wake. Take care,
Heather
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
-
The Lazarus reference is just a metaphor of how "he" awoke me to a new life. "He" can be anyone. A love poem showing our fears and needs at the same time. So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for your very kind review. Sue
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'Tangible Hope' is an extremely well-written piece. The style, structure and content are as they should be. It was a pleasure to read and review this talented writer's work.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
|
'Tangible Hope' is an extremely well-written piece. The style, structure and content are as they should be. It was a pleasure to read and review this talented writer's work.
Comment Written 25-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2009
-
Duchess, your review is very much appreciated, as are your compliments. Am very glad you liked it. With regards, Sue
Sue, the pleasure was all mine.
All the best,
the Duchess