Comment from Lea Tonin1

Exceptional

There she goes again blowing up the literary pages with your excellent writing. We'll see what fun your next chapter. Brings with your little cliffhanger on the end. Good work! I see no issues with esthetics, spelling punctuation. Grammar, that looks pretty good. To me, I think you should submit make this a marvelous book! Another great chapter. Good luck to you.Hope you have a great day!

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2025

Mercy bucket ma damn moe sell

Comment from Pamusart

Excellent

Hi Eileen

I've been away from fan story for at least five weeks as far as being able to review work. I do remember seeing other chapters where Terry is the star. I enjoyed the series very much. I hope to read some future chapters.

Here you don't need the comma after Hayes

"Hayes, was old school and didn't have rapport with any of the new"

Here I think persons should be possessive

"trace any of the other missing persons direction and what"

Here I think what each took because the subject is singular (missing person's)

"trace any of the other missing persons direction and what specific steps they took. "

Or people's directions

Here an extra on the

"band of yellow on the on the object in the back window. Warren"

Here one on your team is an improvement I think or one of your team members or one of your teams.

"in a charity bin or stolen. We can't assume it belongs to one of your team." Leven offered."

Here maybe that left

"the few roads the left the highway. Maybe he was going to get lucky"

Here Anderson's should be possessive.

"to try to get Andersons file from human resources. That was going to be fun."

I enjoyed reading your book chapter

Good job. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 15-Jan-2025

Thank you ! I have made all of your suggested corrections! Welcome back!

Comment from Iza Deleanu

Excellent

Nice scenario for a criminal movie, I like how you display resources and solutions for the investigation to advance. Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings.

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2025

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reply by the author on 14-Jan-2025

Thank you Iza - this is a chapter in my book-Sandras lover. Feel free to read more!