Burn It All Down
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "Burn It All Down; It Ends Here!"A war of a few against a syndicate
2 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
This is professional grade. It was a pleasure to read it, felt like I had an E-book in my hand. Flawless. And I love his name, perfect for an action hero.
notes
He wasn't alone.
-He always knew he wasn't alone. He was hunting Grayson. How about him whispering through gritted teeth, "Damn!"
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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This is professional grade. It was a pleasure to read it, felt like I had an E-book in my hand. Flawless. And I love his name, perfect for an action hero.
notes
He wasn't alone.
-He always knew he wasn't alone. He was hunting Grayson. How about him whispering through gritted teeth, "Damn!"
Comment Written 09-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2025
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i had a lot of fun with this section
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Your story pulled me in right from the start! I loved the diner and how it set the perfect tone for Alex Dane's encounter. The details you added
made everything feel so real. Alex's personality comes through so clearly. The snowy wilderness scenes were so well done. I could feel the cold and danger closing in. The line on the cabin wall? Absolute chills! For improvement, you might consider tightening the descriptions at the start. This was such a gripping read! The ending left me wanting to know what happens next - can't wait to see more of Alex's story!
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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Your story pulled me in right from the start! I loved the diner and how it set the perfect tone for Alex Dane's encounter. The details you added
made everything feel so real. Alex's personality comes through so clearly. The snowy wilderness scenes were so well done. I could feel the cold and danger closing in. The line on the cabin wall? Absolute chills! For improvement, you might consider tightening the descriptions at the start. This was such a gripping read! The ending left me wanting to know what happens next - can't wait to see more of Alex's story!
Comment Written 06-Jan-2025
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2025
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thanks, the second one is up now
