Snow, Snow, Snow
Snow is everywhere, is everything, white gold.18 total reviews
Comment from Cindy Decker 3
Rick,
I really like your winter nature Haiku.
In 17 syllables, you describe winter's ambience and find beauty in it. (I'm not a fan of this season, but I really like your positive take on it). Snow as "white gold!"
Fantastic poem, Rick.
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Rick,
I really like your winter nature Haiku.
In 17 syllables, you describe winter's ambience and find beauty in it. (I'm not a fan of this season, but I really like your positive take on it). Snow as "white gold!"
Fantastic poem, Rick.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Thank you, you made my day. I had an an advantage though as I am a Colorado native, born there, lived there. Experienced winter many months of the year. The mountains are my home and spent many days out in them. Had to prepare properly or they could take you and not let go. The term "white gold" is the name Coloradans give to describe the snow and snowfall. Its connotation is for the money it brings in to the state. Tourists, skiers, hunters, climbers you name it. Also the water it provides for the western US.
Comment from Marilyn Hamilton
An excellent entry for the Winter Nature Haiku writing prompt. Your descriptions make me feel like i am looking out of my back windown in Maine at the snow capped mountains. Lovely descriptions.
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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An excellent entry for the Winter Nature Haiku writing prompt. Your descriptions make me feel like i am looking out of my back windown in Maine at the snow capped mountains. Lovely descriptions.
Comment Written 06-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 06-Dec-2024
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Thank you. The words are from my heart and speak of were I grew up, in the mountains of Colorado, winter is in my blood. Snow is my play ground.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
great haiku expressing the essential elements of winter. I like the image chosen and the words "winter moon, snowflakes begin." It is a good use of imagery and word choices
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great haiku expressing the essential elements of winter. I like the image chosen and the words "winter moon, snowflakes begin." It is a good use of imagery and word choices
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from karenina
This is a solid haiku...
It captures the simplicity of the form while encompassing the essence of the season...
I'd suggest dressing it up with an image...maybe a different colored background, unless you are adverse to such things.
Snow as white gold... original!
I've never thought of it that way!
Karenina
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This is a solid haiku...
It captures the simplicity of the form while encompassing the essence of the season...
I'd suggest dressing it up with an image...maybe a different colored background, unless you are adverse to such things.
Snow as white gold... original!
I've never thought of it that way!
Karenina
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
This is a good start. I'd like to see a bit more.
-your second comma in the title is spaced incorrectly
-why is snow like white gold? Does it have something common with palladium? (which is a rare and precious metal, not everywhere falling from the sky like snow)
-if this piece is about snow, what does the first half of the piece have to do with snow?
-"snowflakes begin" -- can you use a more interesting word? How about: settle?
-can you use a more interesting word than "become" on the last line? For example:
-mountain peaks grow pale (sounds like aging)
-blanketing mountains
Finally, a bit more attention to presentation would be nice. Fonts, colors, and an image could take this further.
Hope this helps and let me know if you revise so I can revisit this,
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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This is a good start. I'd like to see a bit more.
-your second comma in the title is spaced incorrectly
-why is snow like white gold? Does it have something common with palladium? (which is a rare and precious metal, not everywhere falling from the sky like snow)
-if this piece is about snow, what does the first half of the piece have to do with snow?
-"snowflakes begin" -- can you use a more interesting word? How about: settle?
-can you use a more interesting word than "become" on the last line? For example:
-mountain peaks grow pale (sounds like aging)
-blanketing mountains
Finally, a bit more attention to presentation would be nice. Fonts, colors, and an image could take this further.
Hope this helps and let me know if you revise so I can revisit this,
🦍
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this winter nature Haiku writing prompt entry with us. The descriptions in this short poem are wonderful. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
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Thank you for sharing this winter nature Haiku writing prompt entry with us. The descriptions in this short poem are wonderful. I enjoyed reading and good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
We always have snow on Mount Teide at Christmas, this is the highest mountain in Spain and it gets rather cold up there! It is always sunny all year round though. I enjoyed your descriptive words to paint a snow scene of mountains Rick, love Dolly x x x
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We always have snow on Mount Teide at Christmas, this is the highest mountain in Spain and it gets rather cold up there! It is always sunny all year round though. I enjoyed your descriptive words to paint a snow scene of mountains Rick, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 05-Dec-2024
Comment from l.raven
I am from Illinois....and my favorite season
of the year is winter...mostly because I love
the snow...it's beautiful...not crazy about
the bitter cold...but anything above 32 degrees
is perfect...
I love your poem...and very nicely written...
love Linda xxoo
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I am from Illinois....and my favorite season
of the year is winter...mostly because I love
the snow...it's beautiful...not crazy about
the bitter cold...but anything above 32 degrees
is perfect...
I love your poem...and very nicely written...
love Linda xxoo
Comment Written 04-Dec-2024
Comment from Tim Margetts
It certainly fits the brief :-)
We get little snow where I am but I do enjoy snow when it does arrive.
Your poem captures the chill of the season/
Tim
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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It certainly fits the brief :-)
We get little snow where I am but I do enjoy snow when it does arrive.
Your poem captures the chill of the season/
Tim
Comment Written 04-Dec-2024
reply by the author on 04-Dec-2024
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I had an advantage, been skiing for 60 years. The winter is me.
Comment from jaded831
You really captured the feeling of winter. Even without a picture, your words created one. I pictured a skier racing down a snowy mountain enjoying every moment of his journey.
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You really captured the feeling of winter. Even without a picture, your words created one. I pictured a skier racing down a snowy mountain enjoying every moment of his journey.
Comment Written 04-Dec-2024