the Portal Opens
Opening the gateway to Hell5 total reviews
Comment from Cecilia A Heiskary
This does not describe a room at all. It only describes creatures, which you did a great job at. The story leaves the reader clueless ( I should say this reader). Not quite sure what you are trying to get across.
Good luck on your contest
Cecilia
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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This does not describe a room at all. It only describes creatures, which you did a great job at. The story leaves the reader clueless ( I should say this reader). Not quite sure what you are trying to get across.
Good luck on your contest
Cecilia
Comment Written 31-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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thanks a lot
Comment from dragonpoet
Hi
This is a long list of real and imaginary monsters that might be in hell.
It really doesn't have a story to it. I like that you put our present politicians in this mix.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
P S Just to let you know, I have just published a book titled "The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry by Joan Pechter. I have provide a link to it on Amazon.com at the end of my profile.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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Hi
This is a long list of real and imaginary monsters that might be in hell.
It really doesn't have a story to it. I like that you put our present politicians in this mix.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Have a great rest of the day and week.
Good luck in the contest.
Joan
P S Just to let you know, I have just published a book titled "The Interloper and other stories in prose and poetry by Joan Pechter. I have provide a link to it on Amazon.com at the end of my profile.
Comment Written 30-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2024
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thanks I will order it
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You are most kindly welcome.
Thanks for ordering my book.
Joan
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Thanks for buying my book. I hope you like it.
Joan
Comment from Julie Helms
This is the third time I've seen you reuse this same list (or very similar list) for the bulk of your entry in a horror contest. I think it is not good practice to recycle stuff over and over.
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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This is the third time I've seen you reuse this same list (or very similar list) for the bulk of your entry in a horror contest. I think it is not good practice to recycle stuff over and over.
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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thanks good point.
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I knew somehow they might be the ones to get the blame for being the cause of all the trouble, but I thought the anti Christ was only one man heh heh, beautifully written, all those horrible men, beautifully written, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Heh heh, I knew somehow they might be the ones to get the blame for being the cause of all the trouble, but I thought the anti Christ was only one man heh heh, beautifully written, all those horrible men, beautifully written, blessings Roy
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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thanks
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Welcome
Comment from phill doran
Hello Anon,
This is a neat idea, I just think your punctuation and spelling need to be looked at. These are small, correctable points, but uncorrected they distract, and detract from the reading.
In an old abandoned house in Eagle Point, Oregon [,] high above the town, overlooking the rougue [do you mean 'rogue' or perhaps 'rouge' ?] river running beneath the house, at o dakr [I can't say I understand the meaning of 'o dakr' if it isn't a typo, maybe explain in your notes] hundred, a bell is rung , [if you meant the comma, the 'and' is lower-case] And a portal opens to the other world, [ditto] And monsters [ you need a dash here -- to announce your following list]
As I say, neat list with a funny pay off line, but you need to look at the opening section, I think.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
Cheers
phill
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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Hello Anon,
This is a neat idea, I just think your punctuation and spelling need to be looked at. These are small, correctable points, but uncorrected they distract, and detract from the reading.
In an old abandoned house in Eagle Point, Oregon [,] high above the town, overlooking the rougue [do you mean 'rogue' or perhaps 'rouge' ?] river running beneath the house, at o dakr [I can't say I understand the meaning of 'o dakr' if it isn't a typo, maybe explain in your notes] hundred, a bell is rung , [if you meant the comma, the 'and' is lower-case] And a portal opens to the other world, [ditto] And monsters [ you need a dash here -- to announce your following list]
As I say, neat list with a funny pay off line, but you need to look at the opening section, I think.
I wish you well with your continued writing.
Cheers
phill
Comment Written 29-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2024
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thanks I will revise it