His Silence
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "His Silence - Chapter 41"Why did a 14 year old boy murder his parents?
6 total reviews
Comment from CrystieCookie999
So Danielle was actually named Grace, according to Oliver. He seems outwardly proper and well-mannered, but it seems like he wants Danielle to be her mother all over again. It borders on being fatherly and creepy at the same time. We'll have to see what you have in store for your readers next.
Little suggestion:
Mum's dress I wore last night, is hanging from the handle on the wardrobe to my left.
You don't need a comma after night in this sentence. But if you like, you could say:
Mum's dress, the one which I wore the night before, is hanging from the handle on the wardrobe to my left.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2024
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So Danielle was actually named Grace, according to Oliver. He seems outwardly proper and well-mannered, but it seems like he wants Danielle to be her mother all over again. It borders on being fatherly and creepy at the same time. We'll have to see what you have in store for your readers next.
Little suggestion:
Mum's dress I wore last night, is hanging from the handle on the wardrobe to my left.
You don't need a comma after night in this sentence. But if you like, you could say:
Mum's dress, the one which I wore the night before, is hanging from the handle on the wardrobe to my left.
Comment Written 09-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2024
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Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I don't think this visit to the house and people from her past is going all like she expected. The strange man that suggests she is in danger and the odd behavior of Oliver are just a few of the oddities. I would suggest you change one sentence to make if more immediate: may (think) you (have) forgotten.
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
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I don't think this visit to the house and people from her past is going all like she expected. The strange man that suggests she is in danger and the odd behavior of Oliver are just a few of the oddities. I would suggest you change one sentence to make if more immediate: may (think) you (have) forgotten.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I so wish Danielle would leave this place. It's not safe and she'd beginning to know that. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do like this story.
but I'm glad I'm here Oliver, I really am, and I want to be an active member of the community.' (here,)
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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I so wish Danielle would leave this place. It's not safe and she'd beginning to know that. Thank you for sharing this with us. I do like this story.
but I'm glad I'm here Oliver, I really am, and I want to be an active member of the community.' (here,)
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Barbara, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
I think she is getting smart in not wanting to stay there much longer. However, she seems to be giving in to whatever Oliveir suggests like changing her name. I hope she finds out why her parents left. She still hast that diary to read.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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I think she is getting smart in not wanting to stay there much longer. However, she seems to be giving in to whatever Oliveir suggests like changing her name. I hope she finds out why her parents left. She still hast that diary to read.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Debbie D'Arcy
Danielle has hit the nail on the head when she believes he is trying to claim ownership of her. This is classic coercive behaviour, guaranteed to get worse. But, despite her reservations, she seems increasingly under his control. You've got us hooked too, Jacob. Well done! Debbie
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Danielle has hit the nail on the head when she believes he is trying to claim ownership of her. This is classic coercive behaviour, guaranteed to get worse. But, despite her reservations, she seems increasingly under his control. You've got us hooked too, Jacob. Well done! Debbie
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Debbie, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Begin Again
Oliver doesn't give up easily, and it appears that he is used to getting his way. But I can't believe that Danielle has allowed herself to give in to him so easily. Changing her name? That's like saying, "You are someone different from here on out." It doesn't sound promising to me.
Smiles, Carol
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Oliver doesn't give up easily, and it appears that he is used to getting his way. But I can't believe that Danielle has allowed herself to give in to him so easily. Changing her name? That's like saying, "You are someone different from here on out." It doesn't sound promising to me.
Smiles, Carol
Comment Written 06-Oct-2024
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2024
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Thank you, Carol, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.