The Storms of Sandflow
a journey into The Twilight Zone19 total reviews
Comment from Patrick Bernardy
Hey Jim!
I am so glad I finally got to this on my To-Do List! You did a remarkable job with the prompt. I can totally see this as an episode of the original Twilight Zone. I have always loved Rod Serling and the show. I have watched them all multiple times. I can hear his voice in my head when I read mine as well as yours!
First, I love the idea that we have a settlement that does NOT want rain, kind of a reverse Dust Bowl, "The Grapes of Wrath" kind of thing. Usually rain arrives as a blessing, but in this case, it appears to be a curse. But it really is not!
I think of the Myconids from way back in my Dungeon & Dragons days:
"Myconids, also known as fungus ones and fungus folk, were a race of ambulatory fungus creatures."
Anyway, your mushrooms turn out to be a blessing after all as they spark love between humans, a feat usually left up to rare serendipity. It is also implied that they might dull and completely eliminate animosity within a race that, frankly, has way too much of it.
I do want to beg you to complete this! No more word count. Go in and finish the script. Will you consider it? If you do, please let me know so I can read it.
Random Thoughts:
---"Unnatural rainfall and blowing winds soaked their piles of sand into malignant puddles." --Beauitful sentence and description! This tells me right here what caliber of writer you are!
---"Their remarks become less hateful and soon even of a romantic nature." --This could be the central storyline in the expanded script. This relationship could grip the reader (viewer). While developing it, you could intersperse more minor occurrences, like the man loading his gun.
One thing I noticed:
---"The newspaper editor. Sam Griff, and local PTA head," --There seems to be a punctuation error with that period after "editor" if I am reading it right.
Awesome Jim! Thank you for having a go and entering my contest. What do you think? Should I do another eventually? Maybe this time we can get more entries! Talk soon, my friend!
Patrick
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Hey Jim!
I am so glad I finally got to this on my To-Do List! You did a remarkable job with the prompt. I can totally see this as an episode of the original Twilight Zone. I have always loved Rod Serling and the show. I have watched them all multiple times. I can hear his voice in my head when I read mine as well as yours!
First, I love the idea that we have a settlement that does NOT want rain, kind of a reverse Dust Bowl, "The Grapes of Wrath" kind of thing. Usually rain arrives as a blessing, but in this case, it appears to be a curse. But it really is not!
I think of the Myconids from way back in my Dungeon & Dragons days:
"Myconids, also known as fungus ones and fungus folk, were a race of ambulatory fungus creatures."
Anyway, your mushrooms turn out to be a blessing after all as they spark love between humans, a feat usually left up to rare serendipity. It is also implied that they might dull and completely eliminate animosity within a race that, frankly, has way too much of it.
I do want to beg you to complete this! No more word count. Go in and finish the script. Will you consider it? If you do, please let me know so I can read it.
Random Thoughts:
---"Unnatural rainfall and blowing winds soaked their piles of sand into malignant puddles." --Beauitful sentence and description! This tells me right here what caliber of writer you are!
---"Their remarks become less hateful and soon even of a romantic nature." --This could be the central storyline in the expanded script. This relationship could grip the reader (viewer). While developing it, you could intersperse more minor occurrences, like the man loading his gun.
One thing I noticed:
---"The newspaper editor. Sam Griff, and local PTA head," --There seems to be a punctuation error with that period after "editor" if I am reading it right.
Awesome Jim! Thank you for having a go and entering my contest. What do you think? Should I do another eventually? Maybe this time we can get more entries! Talk soon, my friend!
Patrick
Comment Written 01-Oct-2024
Comment from F. William Lester
Very good. The Twilight Zone was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, especially Rod's monologs. I like the way you presented it with his comments as part of the story. Nice work. If this is an actual episode, I don't remember it - a situation that appears to be reoccurring with increasing regularity. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
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Very good. The Twilight Zone was one of my favorite shows when I was a kid, especially Rod's monologs. I like the way you presented it with his comments as part of the story. Nice work. If this is an actual episode, I don't remember it - a situation that appears to be reoccurring with increasing regularity. Well done. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Teri7
This is a very well written story for the Tribute to Rod Serling contest. You used great descriptive words and great imagery from your words and the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
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This is a very well written story for the Tribute to Rod Serling contest. You used great descriptive words and great imagery from your words and the artwork you chose. Best wishes in the contest. Teri
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Aiona
Oo! Creepy monologue. I like that the horrifying mushrooms actually made two people kinder to each other. I would have wanted this to be a full-fledged episode, not just Serling's beginning and ending monologues, mainly because I wanted to see more instances of people being affected by the mushrooms. Oh well! I guess I'll just have to wait for the TV version!
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Oo! Creepy monologue. I like that the horrifying mushrooms actually made two people kinder to each other. I would have wanted this to be a full-fledged episode, not just Serling's beginning and ending monologues, mainly because I wanted to see more instances of people being affected by the mushrooms. Oh well! I guess I'll just have to wait for the TV version!
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from Karen Cherry Threadgill
Yes, that took me right back to the show, I heard him talking right in my ear. Amazing. I saw it all. I smelled the sand. I felt the hot sun. I saw despair change to joy. You really accomplished something. Karen
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Yes, that took me right back to the show, I heard him talking right in my ear. Amazing. I saw it all. I smelled the sand. I felt the hot sun. I saw despair change to joy. You really accomplished something. Karen
Comment Written 28-Sep-2024
Comment from SimianSavant
This is well conceived. I think you should extend it. Two examples with limited detail after an extended premise doesn't do your concept justice. Imagine all the comical altered human behaviors that could come of mushrooms, which you could explore her to entertain the reader:
-people start adapting animal-like behaviors
-reversing of parent/child dynamics
-hallucinations
-zombies
-cravings for strange foods
-community congregating around new sacred objects, like a bonfire, local ice cream store, or bouncy castle
I'm thinking Planet of the Apes type stuff.
Anyway, have a go and see if you can up the ante.
Regards,
🦍
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This is well conceived. I think you should extend it. Two examples with limited detail after an extended premise doesn't do your concept justice. Imagine all the comical altered human behaviors that could come of mushrooms, which you could explore her to entertain the reader:
-people start adapting animal-like behaviors
-reversing of parent/child dynamics
-hallucinations
-zombies
-cravings for strange foods
-community congregating around new sacred objects, like a bonfire, local ice cream store, or bouncy castle
I'm thinking Planet of the Apes type stuff.
Anyway, have a go and see if you can up the ante.
Regards,
🦍
Comment Written 17-Sep-2024
Comment from lyenochka
You did a great job with creating a Twilight Zone episode and you captured Rod Serling's way of summarizing with a question getting the viewers/readers to think about what they just experienced. We need those kinds love mushrooms today!
Best wishes in the contest!
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You did a great job with creating a Twilight Zone episode and you captured Rod Serling's way of summarizing with a question getting the viewers/readers to think about what they just experienced. We need those kinds love mushrooms today!
Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
Comment from LJbutterfly
I could almost hear Rod Serling's actual voice inviting me to The Twilight Zone. The addition of Camera directions and movements provided an intriguing visual experience. I enjoyed the story and your writing. Best wishes in the contest.
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I could almost hear Rod Serling's actual voice inviting me to The Twilight Zone. The addition of Camera directions and movements provided an intriguing visual experience. I enjoyed the story and your writing. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2024
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This Twilight Zone episode is extraordinary in its completion of the way mushrooms of a different kind can affect the local townspeople in ways that help end hate and help blossom love even romantic love between adversaries. Written with easy-to-read print, this episode makes me want to read more of what you have in store.
As a child, I loved the television series, Twilight Zone.
It helped ground me in my surrealistic reality. I was always a daydreamer so this series encouraged me to imagine stories and poems that I wrote since I was 13 years old.
I hope you write more of this fantastic story!
Jesse
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This Twilight Zone episode is extraordinary in its completion of the way mushrooms of a different kind can affect the local townspeople in ways that help end hate and help blossom love even romantic love between adversaries. Written with easy-to-read print, this episode makes me want to read more of what you have in store.
As a child, I loved the television series, Twilight Zone.
It helped ground me in my surrealistic reality. I was always a daydreamer so this series encouraged me to imagine stories and poems that I wrote since I was 13 years old.
I hope you write more of this fantastic story!
Jesse
Comment Written 15-Sep-2024
Comment from Daylily
This is a wonderful tribute writing, my friend. I remember the TWLIGHT ZONE series and always enjoyed watching it...I can even clearly recall several of the very gripping shows.
Best wishes with this strong contest entry!
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This is a wonderful tribute writing, my friend. I remember the TWLIGHT ZONE series and always enjoyed watching it...I can even clearly recall several of the very gripping shows.
Best wishes with this strong contest entry!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2024