The Fix
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "The Fix - Chapter Ten"A mother fights to prove her son's innocence
11 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I'm sorry Jacob for falling behind, i'm going to catch up.
I wonder who put the camera there. Obviously someone is snooping. I'd get it and check what's on the film. Stacy has made herself ill trying to prove her son is innocent. I'm going to the next chapter now. Well done, you are keeping the story flowing beautifully, not giving too much a way but keeping the reader involved. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
  |
I'm sorry Jacob for falling behind, i'm going to catch up.
I wonder who put the camera there. Obviously someone is snooping. I'd get it and check what's on the film. Stacy has made herself ill trying to prove her son is innocent. I'm going to the next chapter now. Well done, you are keeping the story flowing beautifully, not giving too much a way but keeping the reader involved. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Jul-2024
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2024
-
Thank you Sandra.
-
You are very welcome, Jacob. xx
Comment from Nicole Schmidt
This is another great addition I very much enjoyed it. It's from the attention and keeps it throughout.
I move away from the window and edge back into the cool hallway.
I like the imagery here
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
|
This is another great addition I very much enjoyed it. It's from the attention and keeps it throughout.
I move away from the window and edge back into the cool hallway.
I like the imagery here
Comment Written 01-Jun-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
-
Thank you, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
When we know there has been an injustice in life, it is hard to move on as we want to put those wrongs, right. But there is a price to pay for giving up our time for someone else. A fine chapter in your story here Jacob, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
|
When we know there has been an injustice in life, it is hard to move on as we want to put those wrongs, right. But there is a price to pay for giving up our time for someone else. A fine chapter in your story here Jacob, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
-
Thank you Dolly, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Daylily
I am sorry I did not read this sooner as I have no sixes left. It is an excellent story that is interesting and flows well. Staceys anxiety is felt and easily understood. I am also glad there is another chapter to read! :-)
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
|
I am sorry I did not read this sooner as I have no sixes left. It is an excellent story that is interesting and flows well. Staceys anxiety is felt and easily understood. I am also glad there is another chapter to read! :-)
Comment Written 31-May-2024
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2024
-
Thank you, I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from tfawcus
You show Stacey's conflicted state of mind well in this chapter. The hesitant nature of her internal dialogue intensifies this. Possibly This is going to have to be thought through carefully. might reads more smoothly in the active voice, but that's your decision.
Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Paparazzi? Oh, no! That's all she needs right now.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
|
You show Stacey's conflicted state of mind well in this chapter. The hesitant nature of her internal dialogue intensifies this. Possibly This is going to have to be thought through carefully. might reads more smoothly in the active voice, but that's your decision.
Looking forward to reading the next chapter. Paparazzi? Oh, no! That's all she needs right now.
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
-
Thank you Tony, I?m really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This seems well-written. It picks up nicely where you left off before. Stacey would really like to get things moving again, it seems. I am thinking even getting an appointment with the (hopefully fair-minded) journalist the very next day might be a little hard. But since the journalist seemed in a hurry, too, it works for now.
Having someone parked outside with a camera ready to capture what is going on from behind a bush would probably make me nervous as all get-out.
The only suggestion I had was here:
But then her soft voice appears on the other line.
I would have said "answers" instead of "appears" unless Stacey was literally looking at the phone instead of having it up to her ear.
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
 |
This seems well-written. It picks up nicely where you left off before. Stacey would really like to get things moving again, it seems. I am thinking even getting an appointment with the (hopefully fair-minded) journalist the very next day might be a little hard. But since the journalist seemed in a hurry, too, it works for now.
Having someone parked outside with a camera ready to capture what is going on from behind a bush would probably make me nervous as all get-out.
The only suggestion I had was here:
But then her soft voice appears on the other line.
I would have said "answers" instead of "appears" unless Stacey was literally looking at the phone instead of having it up to her ear.
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 30-May-2024
-
Thank you for the six stars, I?m really pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Ulla
Wow, Jacob, you really keep us hanging don't you? This is so very well written, and all I want is to reading on. I do hope the next posting of yours will be the continuation. I will go straight to it. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
Wow, Jacob, you really keep us hanging don't you? This is so very well written, and all I want is to reading on. I do hope the next posting of yours will be the continuation. I will go straight to it. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Thank you Ulla, I?m pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from BethShelby
It is good the person wants to help her but she has to get around her daughter who seems to believe her brother is quilty and wants her mother to let it go. I'm enjoying your story.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
It is good the person wants to help her but she has to get around her daughter who seems to believe her brother is quilty and wants her mother to let it go. I'm enjoying your story.
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Thank you Beth, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Thank you for sharing this post with us. I am wondering about the cameras. You are keeping us guessing.
but did you manage to speak to your friend?' I ask her. 'The journalist.' (you can omit 'her', it's understood. Who else would she ask?)
If it hadn't have been for the madness of the last few months I would never have noticed (months,)
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
Thank you for sharing this post with us. I am wondering about the cameras. You are keeping us guessing.
but did you manage to speak to your friend?' I ask her. 'The journalist.' (you can omit 'her', it's understood. Who else would she ask?)
If it hadn't have been for the madness of the last few months I would never have noticed (months,)
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Thank you Barbara, I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Look at sentence, "Leave if it with me . . ."
Do you mean "then there wouldn't have been a reason for it to be here."
I think you could offer longer chapters, Jacob. You don't post often, and when the reader gets a short glimpse back into your story, you yank it away quickly. I was just getting into it when it ended.
Glad to see you back:-)
xo
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
|
Look at sentence, "Leave if it with me . . ."
Do you mean "then there wouldn't have been a reason for it to be here."
I think you could offer longer chapters, Jacob. You don't post often, and when the reader gets a short glimpse back into your story, you yank it away quickly. I was just getting into it when it ended.
Glad to see you back:-)
xo
Pam
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-May-2024
reply by the author on 29-May-2024
-
Thank you, Pam. I'm pleased that you enjoyed it.
