Short Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 2 "End of the World"A collection of short stories
2 total reviews
Comment from Douglas Goff
Although a great entry, it is sad and terrifying to think that pregnant woman really did suffer the holocaust in similar circumstance.
Suggestion:
Is she smiling at her?
(This seemed to be an internal thought dialogue which is usually italicized for better interpretation, but if it is, then switch her to me. A little confusing and killed the great flow you had going )
Regardless, excellent work here!
D
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Although a great entry, it is sad and terrifying to think that pregnant woman really did suffer the holocaust in similar circumstance.
Suggestion:
Is she smiling at her?
(This seemed to be an internal thought dialogue which is usually italicized for better interpretation, but if it is, then switch her to me. A little confusing and killed the great flow you had going )
Regardless, excellent work here!
D
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Corrected. Thank you.
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We are teammates!
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Yes!!
Comment from royowen
I think you did well with this post in this contest, you gave that impression of diminishing reality and promoted the surreality of child birth with the consciousness and pain of the impending birth, and the unconsciousness of surroundings, well done, good luck. Blessings Roy
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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I think you did well with this post in this contest, you gave that impression of diminishing reality and promoted the surreality of child birth with the consciousness and pain of the impending birth, and the unconsciousness of surroundings, well done, good luck. Blessings Roy
Comment Written 15-Jul-2023
reply by the author on 15-Jul-2023
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Thank you and thanks for the stars.
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Good luck