Revenge
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Revenge - Chap 28"Evil stalks the dynamic crime team
19 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Yes, I want to hear thar plan, too! Poor Tiffany, she's in trouble, and so is Jaz. So, what's the plan? I want to get in there as quick as possible! You are laying the plot out beautifully, Carol, how you do it so fast, I don't know. Ok, on to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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Yes, I want to hear thar plan, too! Poor Tiffany, she's in trouble, and so is Jaz. So, what's the plan? I want to get in there as quick as possible! You are laying the plot out beautifully, Carol, how you do it so fast, I don't know. Ok, on to the next part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 12-Dec-2021
reply by the author on 16-Dec-2021
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As for the writing--- the more I feel stressed the more I want my fingers to tap tap tap that keyboard. It takes me somewhere else than where I am at. Love ya, Carol
Comment from Mary Kay Bonfante
I've missed some chapters, but that's no reflection on your story -- my personal life has been kind of demanding, difficult and stressful (I'm sure you can relate to that, although my problems are of a different nature than yours).
I suggest the following revisions:
"I grew up in this town and probably no more secrets than you'll ever learn ...
-->
"I grew up in this town and probably know more secrets than you'll ever learn ...
It makes lots of money for some but destroys the property of others.
-->
It makes lots of money for some, but destroys the property of others.
... and his best friend, Paul Welcher, ran for Sheriff and won."
-->
... and his best friend, Paul Welcher, ran for sheriff and won." [you haven't been capitalizing it, elsewhere]
***
This is a very suspenseful plot!
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I've missed some chapters, but that's no reflection on your story -- my personal life has been kind of demanding, difficult and stressful (I'm sure you can relate to that, although my problems are of a different nature than yours).
I suggest the following revisions:
"I grew up in this town and probably no more secrets than you'll ever learn ...
-->
"I grew up in this town and probably know more secrets than you'll ever learn ...
It makes lots of money for some but destroys the property of others.
-->
It makes lots of money for some, but destroys the property of others.
... and his best friend, Paul Welcher, ran for Sheriff and won."
-->
... and his best friend, Paul Welcher, ran for sheriff and won." [you haven't been capitalizing it, elsewhere]
***
This is a very suspenseful plot!
Comment Written 02-Dec-2021
Comment from robyn corum
Carol,
Go, Sam, go!!! I'm all in, too. Come on, girl, tell us what the plan is. I'm sure we're all ready to dive in and catch these vermin in their nests!
A single note:
--> "I grew up in this town and probably (know) more secrets than you'll ever learn while you are here.
And more -
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Carol,
Go, Sam, go!!! I'm all in, too. Come on, girl, tell us what the plan is. I'm sure we're all ready to dive in and catch these vermin in their nests!
A single note:
--> "I grew up in this town and probably (know) more secrets than you'll ever learn while you are here.
And more -
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
Comment from prettybluebirds
You do have one tint error that can be easily fixed. You typed (no) more secrets, and it should be (know) Otherwise it is perfect and a most enjoyable story. I'm not much for mysteries but I do like this one.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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You do have one tint error that can be easily fixed. You typed (no) more secrets, and it should be (know) Otherwise it is perfect and a most enjoyable story. I'm not much for mysteries but I do like this one.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Patty Palmer
I don't know how you keep all of these characters straight. I know. that
s='
I don't know how you remember all of these characters straight. I know sometimes I have to go back and look at the list as to who is who. There's a lot of action going on and it keeps the story interesting. Looking forward to the next chapter. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!
(((HUGS)))
Patty
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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I don't know how you keep all of these characters straight. I know. that
s='
I don't know how you remember all of these characters straight. I know sometimes I have to go back and look at the list as to who is who. There's a lot of action going on and it keeps the story interesting. Looking forward to the next chapter. Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving!
(((HUGS)))
Patty
Comment Written 30-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Carol Clark2
A good chapter, putting many of the pieces of the puzzle together. I hope nothing has happened to Marian, especially with the phone being intercepted recently. Good dialogue, moving the plot forward nicely.
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, and that your stress is somewhat relieved. Blessings. Carol
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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A good chapter, putting many of the pieces of the puzzle together. I hope nothing has happened to Marian, especially with the phone being intercepted recently. Good dialogue, moving the plot forward nicely.
Hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, and that your stress is somewhat relieved. Blessings. Carol
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
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You're welcome. Your story is great, and I always look forward to your next chapters.
Comment from Ulla
This is great stuff, Carol. Sam and her team are definitely coming close to what is really gong on. Now, the trouble is to get close enough and rescue them all and to capture the villains at the same time. Not an easy task. Great writing. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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This is great stuff, Carol. Sam and her team are definitely coming close to what is really gong on. Now, the trouble is to get close enough and rescue them all and to capture the villains at the same time. Not an easy task. Great writing. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from lyenochka
Wow, they really exposed a lot in this post. Great job in getting the characters to share the information each one had. It doesn't seem like Allie really understands the reason while she's being targeted by Vito. Hope they will be especially careful! I thought Marian's message was deleted but I wonder who the "boss" who owed Sam something was.
Comments:
and probably no (know not "no")
photographed the partiers (partyers) according to most dictionaries
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Wow, they really exposed a lot in this post. Great job in getting the characters to share the information each one had. It doesn't seem like Allie really understands the reason while she's being targeted by Vito. Hope they will be especially careful! I thought Marian's message was deleted but I wonder who the "boss" who owed Sam something was.
Comments:
and probably no (know not "no")
photographed the partiers (partyers) according to most dictionaries
Comment Written 29-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Wendy G
A very exciting continuation. They are very clever at combining all their skills and all the pieces of the complex puzzle - and you are brilliant for keeping track of everything so well.
Wendy
One small typo:
"I grew up in this town and probably "know" (not "no") more secrets than ...."
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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A very exciting continuation. They are very clever at combining all their skills and all the pieces of the complex puzzle - and you are brilliant for keeping track of everything so well.
Wendy
One small typo:
"I grew up in this town and probably "know" (not "no") more secrets than ...."
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Coming into the homestretch--I'm itching for them to get their comeuppance! Fine work.
notification of
[James Carrington's death=>sugg: THE DEATH OF JAMES HARRINGTON], a lifetime friend of Samantha.
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Coming into the homestretch--I'm itching for them to get their comeuppance! Fine work.
notification of
[James Carrington's death=>sugg: THE DEATH OF JAMES HARRINGTON], a lifetime friend of Samantha.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2021
reply by the author on 05-Dec-2021
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Thank you for reading, commenting with a review, and for enjoying my story. I appreciate your time and thoughts. Have a great day!
Hugs, Carol
