Heart Crafted Poems -2021
Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Walking the Strand"Musings of an old man -2021
41 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your sonnet. It is a complex style that you handled well. There is good imagery and flow. I read a couple of lines that were not in iambic meter, but that did not take away from your sad sonnet. The ending was unexpected.
Respectfully, Jan
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
I enjoyed your sonnet. It is a complex style that you handled well. There is good imagery and flow. I read a couple of lines that were not in iambic meter, but that did not take away from your sad sonnet. The ending was unexpected.
Respectfully, Jan
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Thanks you.
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Hello JLR, a well written Spenserian sonnet, well written true to form. Good iambic pentameter maintained throughout. A romantic sonnet with an ending I did not expect - a definite turn. I like the term - the romance bombed. Better luck next time. Regards Dorothy x
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
Hello JLR, a well written Spenserian sonnet, well written true to form. Good iambic pentameter maintained throughout. A romantic sonnet with an ending I did not expect - a definite turn. I like the term - the romance bombed. Better luck next time. Regards Dorothy x
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Thank you Dorothy.
Comment from Jenny Kartchner
This poem is outstanding. I like the use of especially your verbs. I did not expect when I began reading that it would end like this. I liked this line
"Breathe deep the scents of near wild bloom bouquet.'
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
This poem is outstanding. I like the use of especially your verbs. I did not expect when I began reading that it would end like this. I liked this line
"Breathe deep the scents of near wild bloom bouquet.'
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Jenny, thank you so much.
Comment from Patty Palmer
A well-written poem about two people walking along the ocean and enjoying the moment. Although, it didn't end the way I thought it would. I thought sure the guy would get the girl. Good luck with the contest~
Patty
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
A well-written poem about two people walking along the ocean and enjoying the moment. Although, it didn't end the way I thought it would. I thought sure the guy would get the girl. Good luck with the contest~
Patty
Comment Written 20-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Patty, thank you.
Comment from joycetreasures
Hello JLR,
This is a skillfully well written Spenserian Sonnet poem. You met the poem's requirement nicely. Your imagery artwork is lovely of the couple walking on the beach. This is a nice line, "Such glee comes as two souls enjoy this day." This was a very enjoyable read. Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
Hello JLR,
This is a skillfully well written Spenserian Sonnet poem. You met the poem's requirement nicely. Your imagery artwork is lovely of the couple walking on the beach. This is a nice line, "Such glee comes as two souls enjoy this day." This was a very enjoyable read. Well done.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Joyce, thank you very much!
-
You are so welcome!!
-
You are welcome.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Spenserian sonnet
Walking the Strand
by JLR
Hello, Jim,
I love your poem's imagery...
"I cast my doubt upon the low morn tide...."
"The day unfolds; light fades into clouds grey...."
It starts very romantic but ends sadly.
Well done.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
Spenserian sonnet
Walking the Strand
by JLR
Hello, Jim,
I love your poem's imagery...
"I cast my doubt upon the low morn tide...."
"The day unfolds; light fades into clouds grey...."
It starts very romantic but ends sadly.
Well done.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Thank you so much!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is a Sonnet form I haven't read before, only normally reading Shakespearean sonnets. But I have to say I really enjoyed reading it. The romance is clearly there in the man's mind, and is there for a while as he holds her hand walking along the shore, but it doesn't last, and soon ends. Sad sonnet, but most are. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
This is a Sonnet form I haven't read before, only normally reading Shakespearean sonnets. But I have to say I really enjoyed reading it. The romance is clearly there in the man's mind, and is there for a while as he holds her hand walking along the shore, but it doesn't last, and soon ends. Sad sonnet, but most are. Well done! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Sandra, thank you..
Comment from Vanna1
Exclamation point seems unnecessary. Your speech starts elegant and then ends in slang not a good option in my opinion. Keep it lofty and beautiful the way it was first. Good presentation. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
Exclamation point seems unnecessary. Your speech starts elegant and then ends in slang not a good option in my opinion. Keep it lofty and beautiful the way it was first. Good presentation. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Thanks.
Comment from estory
This is a great musical style of sonnet, very classy, almost baroque in its ornaments. I think your images really portray the undercurrents rocking a relationship, the waves rolling that tug at you, pulling you sometimes apart. estory
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
This is a great musical style of sonnet, very classy, almost baroque in its ornaments. I think your images really portray the undercurrents rocking a relationship, the waves rolling that tug at you, pulling you sometimes apart. estory
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Thanks so much!
Comment from Ben Colder
Interesting concept of poetry. What is it about the sandy beaches, the mist of the air that creates the moment for good clean romance with the girl of one's dreams? It does work.
Thanks for sharing your very nice write.
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
Interesting concept of poetry. What is it about the sandy beaches, the mist of the air that creates the moment for good clean romance with the girl of one's dreams? It does work.
Thanks for sharing your very nice write.
Comment Written 19-Jan-2021
reply by the author on 20-Jan-2021
-
Ben thank you.