Zip Your Bossy Lip
Some people force their opinions on others.22 total reviews
Comment from Michele Harber
I hope you've actually said this (or its equivalent) to people. I have, twice, told coworkers they were condescending to me, and that I neither deserved it nor would take it. In both cases, the relationship improved because they achieved new-found respect for me.
Your poem expresses perfectly the anger and frustration, when others think they know better than you, particularly about things that apply to you and not them. Your rhymes are well chosen and to the point, and I was particularly struck by "Now I'll be frank - your comment stank, "Don't misconstrue MY biased view" and "You should just zip your bossy lip."
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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I hope you've actually said this (or its equivalent) to people. I have, twice, told coworkers they were condescending to me, and that I neither deserved it nor would take it. In both cases, the relationship improved because they achieved new-found respect for me.
Your poem expresses perfectly the anger and frustration, when others think they know better than you, particularly about things that apply to you and not them. Your rhymes are well chosen and to the point, and I was particularly struck by "Now I'll be frank - your comment stank, "Don't misconstrue MY biased view" and "You should just zip your bossy lip."
Comment Written 10-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 10-Dec-2020
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Thanks for your detailed review, Michele. I'm pleased to hear you stood up for yourself.
I wrote this with an EX-partner in mind who used psychological bullying tac, making comments about all manner of things he knew were important to me and he wanted to undermine me about. Eventually, after too many putdowns and having to overcome my own by then perceived lack of worth, I stood up to him and our relationship ended.
Even though I wrote in the notes it wasn't about FanStory reviewers, most reviewers think it is. Gosh, they must have had some nasty, bossy reviews.
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I suspect they wished they'd have said something similar to some of their more uncomplimentary reviewers.
Good for you for standing up to the mental abuse and walking away. Too many women stay until they completely believe the crap said about them and no longer have it in them to leave.
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It is so confusing when someone professes love but treats unkindly and twists things to a blaming situation. It was doing my head in and making me become someone Ii didn't want to be. Luckily I didn't have children to factor into protecting as well.
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It kind of makes me wonder how he was brought up. I wonder if, in his mind, that was some warped definition of love. Either way, I'm just glad you got out.
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He was the youngest boy in a family of 6 kids, with 2 younger sisters... and was in a city boarding school for several years (they were a rural family). He was also a lawyer... they might get used to bullying people in court. He was also capable of being extremely generous too, but but I will never forget some of the vicious things that came out of his mouth directed at me.
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Let's see, essentially a middle child, and sent away from home, possibly making him feel unloved. Maybe he thought being tough (and, in his case, vicious and obnoxious) was the only way to get noticed.
FYI, I'm trying to figure out and explain his behavior - NOT validate it.
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He was also shorter than his brothers so he was probably trying to puff himself up by dominating someone else. He had been married for 30 years before I met him. When his bullying became an issue I asked him what his wife had done when he spoke to her like that... he said breezily "oh, she'd just go off to her room and cry"... then I knew it was a pattern and not just me.
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You were very smart to ask the question and make the connection.
I used to be just over 5'4" (I'm about an inch shorter now), and I dated a guy for three years who was just shorter than I was. Both his brother and sister were taller. He treated me like gold, and couldn't do enough for me - but he was the rudest SOB to everyone else. I was always embarrassed to go to restaurants with him because he could be counted on to be nasty to waiters for no reason. I always maintained that he was trying to make himself seem bigger and stronger because he felt altitudinally challenged.
Comment from Father Flaps
Hi Lisa,
I enjoyed your rant. The four syllables per line had a driving force. It helped to get your opinion across, that you feel insulted by an unkind critic. Reviewers must be kind and helpful, above all else. But writers must realize that their poems or stories are open for review when posted. And not all reviewers are respectful.
I like to way you slow down your angst near the end of the poem. You slip into 6 syllables for those final lines. It is quite effective.
"it undermines me so.
I am the one to know -
"To thine own self be true." "
Yes, it works the other way... the reviewer has to realize that the author may not see things as suggested. In the end, the author is boss. It's their poem no matter what you think.
You tackle a sensitive issue, Lisa. Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
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Hi Lisa,
I enjoyed your rant. The four syllables per line had a driving force. It helped to get your opinion across, that you feel insulted by an unkind critic. Reviewers must be kind and helpful, above all else. But writers must realize that their poems or stories are open for review when posted. And not all reviewers are respectful.
I like to way you slow down your angst near the end of the poem. You slip into 6 syllables for those final lines. It is quite effective.
"it undermines me so.
I am the one to know -
"To thine own self be true." "
Yes, it works the other way... the reviewer has to realize that the author may not see things as suggested. In the end, the author is boss. It's their poem no matter what you think.
You tackle a sensitive issue, Lisa. Nicely penned!
Cheers,
Kimbob
Comment Written 09-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 09-Dec-2020
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It's interesting that most readers are assuming that this is about fanStory reviewers. I've written in the author notes that it isn't. It's actually about my ex-partner who used belittling and psychological abuse on me... much stronger criticism than I hope any fanstory reviewer would 'dish out' to a vulnerable writer.
Comment from Lucy de Welles
Well said! Although, I must say, this is hard to live up to. One never knows just what will cause another to be upset ....
When a certain someone told me I was living in LaLa Land, I took a month off from FS to think about it. After the month was done, I down loaded an image of the La La Land movie poster and added it to my vision board. Now I'm smiling. Where else would I want to live?
Hugs, Lucy
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Well said! Although, I must say, this is hard to live up to. One never knows just what will cause another to be upset ....
When a certain someone told me I was living in LaLa Land, I took a month off from FS to think about it. After the month was done, I down loaded an image of the La La Land movie poster and added it to my vision board. Now I'm smiling. Where else would I want to live?
Hugs, Lucy
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Here's to our LaLa Lands, where we have thick skins and waterproof mascara. Don't let other people's criticisms get to you... easier said than done, I know, cos we feel quite vulnerable when we put work out for public comment. It seems some people have a nasty way of saying stuff and could be quite oblivious to the impact their words have, but sometimes it's on purpose cos they are nasty themselves.
Comment from Mia Twysted
That is true. There are so many people out there that want to conform you to their ways of doing things. They think they know best and their way is the only way of doing things.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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That is true. There are so many people out there that want to conform you to their ways of doing things. They think they know best and their way is the only way of doing things.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Yes, they like telling others what to do but would not like it if others bossed them around.
Comment from lyenochka
Great advice. Unfortunately, under the covers of the internet, all manners have gone and some just let their "Id" out of range of their "Superego" and say whatever they please. Good message for those guys but they probably won't read this...
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Great advice. Unfortunately, under the covers of the internet, all manners have gone and some just let their "Id" out of range of their "Superego" and say whatever they please. Good message for those guys but they probably won't read this...
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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There doesn't appear to be a filter or a pause button on a lot of people - they just blurt first, think later, this is if they think at all.
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So true. And it's scary when they start blogs and get a following...Sigh.
Have a lovely day there. I'm off to bed. Hugs!
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Nighty night. x
Comment from forestport12
I like the strong words that have a pounding, drumming sound that make the poem stick with you and the cadence too. Love the "Brickbat," use. It really "Hammered," the point home. Lol. Worthy.
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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I like the strong words that have a pounding, drumming sound that make the poem stick with you and the cadence too. Love the "Brickbat," use. It really "Hammered," the point home. Lol. Worthy.
Comment Written 08-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 08-Dec-2020
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Thanks for your review and comments. I was aiming for a minimal feel to this to keep it punchy at a 4-syllable beat each line.
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Zip Your Bossy Lip, is one that I should blow up a bit, print out on a transfer, and iron on a t-shirt. I'll want to include the emoji as well.
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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This poem, Zip Your Bossy Lip, is one that I should blow up a bit, print out on a transfer, and iron on a t-shirt. I'll want to include the emoji as well.
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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You could have the emoji on the front and the poem on the back - that way people would know not to confront you face-to-face.
Comment from Wendy G
Love it. Delivering a very real message, with good humour! Each one should have freedom of self-expression, but with respect and care. No bossiness! Great work! And excellent illustration!
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Love it. Delivering a very real message, with good humour! Each one should have freedom of self-expression, but with respect and care. No bossiness! Great work! And excellent illustration!
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Nice review! Thank you, Wendy.
Comment from Cindy Decker
Lisa, this poem is hysterical, to the point, direct, and unmistakably things I need to say to locals in my town. Anyway
I'm loving it.
Best wishes,
Cindy
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Lisa, this poem is hysterical, to the point, direct, and unmistakably things I need to say to locals in my town. Anyway
I'm loving it.
Best wishes,
Cindy
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Cindy, you are such a wonderful supporter of my writing. Thank you so much for such a terrific review rating and for your remarks. You tell those locals to zip it!
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I like your writing, Lisa. No problem! Thank you for sticking up for me. It warms my heart.
Have a safe week.😷
Comment from Jerome Goldberg
LisaMay - Again, your social commentary has found its mark. I know that there are bullies and dullards in the world; but, it never ceases to amaze me how supposed "well meaning people" can inflict mortal damage with a few thoughtless words - Jerry
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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LisaMay - Again, your social commentary has found its mark. I know that there are bullies and dullards in the world; but, it never ceases to amaze me how supposed "well meaning people" can inflict mortal damage with a few thoughtless words - Jerry
Comment Written 07-Dec-2020
reply by the author on 07-Dec-2020
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Thanks for reviewing. 'Well meaning people' usually have their own agenda in mind rather than those they are supposedly helping.... wolves in sheep's clothing.