The Window
Can Darkness Expunge the Light?90 total reviews
Comment from Margaret Ford
This is very fine work, Jay. There is an economy of words--no extras--with an ending that has a satori feel to it. You should do well in the contest. Margaret
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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This is very fine work, Jay. There is an economy of words--no extras--with an ending that has a satori feel to it. You should do well in the contest. Margaret
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Margaret, for your take on my poem, particularly your saying the ending had a satori feel to it.
Comment from Gloria ....
Yes only you Jay can write poetry of such depth in so few words. Which is really amazing given your novels. What's up with Doctrex? Is he still hanging?
Best of luck to you in the contest with this amazing piece.
Gloria
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Yes only you Jay can write poetry of such depth in so few words. Which is really amazing given your novels. What's up with Doctrex? Is he still hanging?
Best of luck to you in the contest with this amazing piece.
Gloria
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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I love you, Gloria. Thanks for the high compliment about my poetry. I keep waiting for someone to supply the evidence of what a fraud I am. It will not be my finest moment when he or she does. LOL, and you had to bring up Doctrex! Ha! Yes, he's still up on the ceiling. I'd invested so much time and brawn, knowing full well I was getting him in a position that forced climax. Yet it felt so empty. I decided to take it on hiatus. After several months ... I got bored with it. I think it was a ploy my subconscious created to keep the realization from my conscious mind that I had no idea what I was doing.
Gloria thank you for the six and your kindness I can't put a value on.
Comment from giraffmang
Oh Jay,
I like this. A very clever piece of poetry. The focus appears to be on one thing, but switches at the last. The physical to the metaphorical. Very creepy and eerie tone to it.
Nice
G
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Oh Jay,
I like this. A very clever piece of poetry. The focus appears to be on one thing, but switches at the last. The physical to the metaphorical. Very creepy and eerie tone to it.
Nice
G
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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AHHHHH, G. Thank you, thank you for the six, certainly, but for showing me where your mind was taken when you read the poem. And coming from someone whose stature I admire so much, it is especially humbling.
Comment from country ranch writer
the sudden stop is what gets you they say even feeling it in your minds and set and ponder about the things in your life in which you wish you could change
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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the sudden stop is what gets you they say even feeling it in your minds and set and ponder about the things in your life in which you wish you could change
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Strangely, I understand what you are saying. It boils down to the "wishing to change." Thanks for reading this and offering a kind of stream of consciousness response to it, B.J.
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Smiles
Comment from c_lucas
Life will not support a loser who is condemned to failed. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery/
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Life will not support a loser who is condemned to failed. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is very good imagery/
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Charlie. I'm happy I finally strung together some words that resonated with you.
Comment from Leena
A perfect poem and a perfect picture! A famous author once wrote, there is nothing called absolute darkness. I too believe it cannot erase light completely. Totally loved your cinquain. Its deep and true and beautiful.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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A perfect poem and a perfect picture! A famous author once wrote, there is nothing called absolute darkness. I too believe it cannot erase light completely. Totally loved your cinquain. Its deep and true and beautiful.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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And you are deep and true and beautiful, Leena! Thank you so much for your kind words and generous rating.
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:) Have a great day!
Comment from jusylee72
Wow, the conclusion of this poem truly hits home. This style seems to fit you well. it is emotional and gripping . Thank you for the time it took to get this just right.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Wow, the conclusion of this poem truly hits home. This style seems to fit you well. it is emotional and gripping . Thank you for the time it took to get this just right.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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LOL, it sounds like you were spying on my mind and seeing how much trouble I had wedding message to structure. The architecture of the piece can easily get in the way. Thank you Susylee!
Comment from kiwigirl2821
Hi Jay. This is superior writing. In one fell swoop you have horrified me, creeped me out and shown me that you are a superior talent on this site. Well done and good luck! xoxo Kiwi
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Hi Jay. This is superior writing. In one fell swoop you have horrified me, creeped me out and shown me that you are a superior talent on this site. Well done and good luck! xoxo Kiwi
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Whoa! Kiwi, you sure know how to make the rest of my evening glide by. Thank you so much for the compliment, topped with a delicious chartreuse cross. LOVE IT!
Comment from sunao
Wow, beautiful! I really like the image that you used for this poem. It is very picturesque. Thank you so much for expressing yourself through this poem. Have a splendid day and good luck on the contest.
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reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Wow, beautiful! I really like the image that you used for this poem. It is very picturesque. Thank you so much for expressing yourself through this poem. Have a splendid day and good luck on the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Sunao, for your generous rating and your kind words.
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You're so welcome!
Comment from Sugar Cube1
Wow cool poem. I like the emotion that you used in it. Good job. I also like the picture you put with it. I think it really goes well with the poem. I really like your description of your poem. I think you worded it really well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Wow cool poem. I like the emotion that you used in it. Good job. I also like the picture you put with it. I think it really goes well with the poem. I really like your description of your poem. I think you worded it really well.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 09-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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THanks, Sugar Cube1. You are very kind and generous. And I appreciate it.
