Lonely Hearts Meet
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Part 4 Chapter 6"Anna and her son escape from a man-made Hell.
82 total reviews
Comment from lola29
Paul is definitely my hero. For some reason, this story has pulled me up out of a slump. Bullies are so good at their game. Poor Anna has been beaten down so badly, she doesn't even think she's smart. Excellent chapter!
(What's) that for?
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
  |
Paul is definitely my hero. For some reason, this story has pulled me up out of a slump. Bullies are so good at their game. Poor Anna has been beaten down so badly, she doesn't even think she's smart. Excellent chapter!
(What's) that for?
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for catching that. I have made the correction. I hate those minor little errors. I should have caught it. I appreciate your kind review.
-
Barbara, you are way too hard on yourself. Your writing is the closest thing to perfection on this site.
Comment from Shirley McLain
Great chapter once again. I think I should start giving you the Dallas weather report in this review. At least it would be something different. You do such a great job.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Great chapter once again. I think I should start giving you the Dallas weather report in this review. At least it would be something different. You do such a great job.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Copperas Cove, TX HOT, SUNNY, and DRY!!!!!!!! It would be the same for everyday during the summer. We're at 100 again.
Comment from sailaway7289
Such good author's notes - I wish more women understood those things and knew they had a choice. The person I knew ended up in the hospital which would have been bad enough but then her husband, in a fit of rage, also hurt her mother - I think that was the last straw for her. She could justify his abuse when it happened to her but not to her mother. Thanks for sharing! I'm not sure what a "port" is but I'm glad you are feeling better.
I wondered if the following sentence: "I'm going to use the term we're because we are a team now." should have the "we're" in italics or quotes or something. Maybe not, just thought I'd mention it. :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Such good author's notes - I wish more women understood those things and knew they had a choice. The person I knew ended up in the hospital which would have been bad enough but then her husband, in a fit of rage, also hurt her mother - I think that was the last straw for her. She could justify his abuse when it happened to her but not to her mother. Thanks for sharing! I'm not sure what a "port" is but I'm glad you are feeling better.
I wondered if the following sentence: "I'm going to use the term we're because we are a team now." should have the "we're" in italics or quotes or something. Maybe not, just thought I'd mention it. :-)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
My port was the device the doctors put in so I could receive my chemo not through my veins. It and I didn't get along, plus I never plan on having chemo again. Thank you for the kind review. I had it orignally in ' ' then changed it. I am not sure.
Comment from apelle
Barbara, you are obviously a seasoned and passionate writer with good human insite and the ability to use fact / fiction crossover storylines.
Like they say, if there is no love, there is nothing...
I like how you command the dialog and how you present your characters. You give the reader the material to independently form an opinion...Beautifully done!
Adina
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Barbara, you are obviously a seasoned and passionate writer with good human insite and the ability to use fact / fiction crossover storylines.
Like they say, if there is no love, there is nothing...
I like how you command the dialog and how you present your characters. You give the reader the material to independently form an opinion...Beautifully done!
Adina
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind words and the encouraging words. I appreciate both,
Comment from Mara del Mar
Uyyy! I'm so happy, my dear Barbara, Anna finally this fighting this battle! I was very touched this chapter. Poor Anna, always someone decided for her, it's time to take charge of your own life. Congratulations, excellent job.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Uyyy! I'm so happy, my dear Barbara, Anna finally this fighting this battle! I was very touched this chapter. Poor Anna, always someone decided for her, it's time to take charge of your own life. Congratulations, excellent job.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
Paul has done the right things to make Anna and Michael safe and I hope he can keep Bobby in jail. Somehow I am afraid Anna will have to deal with Bobby at least one more time but hopefully she will let him know she is smart and wants to be rid of him. Your conversations are real and plausible, something not all writers can do. Wonderful chapter....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Hi Barbara,
Paul has done the right things to make Anna and Michael safe and I hope he can keep Bobby in jail. Somehow I am afraid Anna will have to deal with Bobby at least one more time but hopefully she will let him know she is smart and wants to be rid of him. Your conversations are real and plausible, something not all writers can do. Wonderful chapter....blessings, chey
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Anna will have to deal with Bobby again, but won't be for awhile. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Barb I must say I felt so much emotion written in this chapter.( well done)
Anna's lawyer sounds so convincing, but Anna's attitude is that she is still is very frightened .
( I don't blame her)
Cannot wait to see what she decides if she want a divorce?
( Thank you for letting us know how things are going on with you
Love
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Barb I must say I felt so much emotion written in this chapter.( well done)
Anna's lawyer sounds so convincing, but Anna's attitude is that she is still is very frightened .
( I don't blame her)
Cannot wait to see what she decides if she want a divorce?
( Thank you for letting us know how things are going on with you
Love
Gert
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
You're welcome. I appreciate the kind review and your support.
-
Please take care.
Gert
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent dialogue throughout - it sounds natural and conveys the emotions of each character well.
I love Paul - it's easy to tell where Troy got his strength of character and sense of justice from. :-)
typo - I need your sign these - TO sign
in your author's notes you have typos in the heading:
Characteristics of Batterers
Brooke :-)
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Excellent dialogue throughout - it sounds natural and conveys the emotions of each character well.
I love Paul - it's easy to tell where Troy got his strength of character and sense of justice from. :-)
typo - I need your sign these - TO sign
in your author's notes you have typos in the heading:
Characteristics of Batterers
Brooke :-)
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for catching those. I am off to edit. Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from JW
This was other well written and interesting chapter. One cannot wonder about how smoothly things may or not progress from here. JW
Here is a suggestion you may or may not want to use:
In this state(,) you can.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
This was other well written and interesting chapter. One cannot wonder about how smoothly things may or not progress from here. JW
Here is a suggestion you may or may not want to use:
In this state(,) you can.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
I have taken care of that comma. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Writeaway...
Bravo Barbara, once more you captured my interest from beginning to end. Your writing is clear, well-written and cleverly constructed, I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
|
Bravo Barbara, once more you captured my interest from beginning to end. Your writing is clear, well-written and cleverly constructed, I cannot suggest anything for improvment, an excellent job, keep writing!! :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2011
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2011
-
Thank you for the kind review.