Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "Cop"memiors from my life experiences.
79 total reviews
Comment from LumchuckHickle
The phrase "poet's eyes" truly elevates this poem and gives it a terrific punch. That's a wonderful observation. I think many police do have "poet's eyes." I never thought of it in exactly that way before.
I think you could improve this by providing some words with a little more punch and interest than simply "police" and "officer" at the beginning and also by being a little more creative...exploratory would be a good way of putting it, perhaps...in the lines, especially the first two lines, of the middle stanza. If you can wow with "poet's eyes," you can move a little further from the dictionary or job manual with the other lines. But I truly did enjoy your poem. Thanks for posting it, and especially thanks for that evocative phrase: poetic eyes.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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The phrase "poet's eyes" truly elevates this poem and gives it a terrific punch. That's a wonderful observation. I think many police do have "poet's eyes." I never thought of it in exactly that way before.
I think you could improve this by providing some words with a little more punch and interest than simply "police" and "officer" at the beginning and also by being a little more creative...exploratory would be a good way of putting it, perhaps...in the lines, especially the first two lines, of the middle stanza. If you can wow with "poet's eyes," you can move a little further from the dictionary or job manual with the other lines. But I truly did enjoy your poem. Thanks for posting it, and especially thanks for that evocative phrase: poetic eyes.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thanks
Comment from JSway
I love the depths of your work, given in only a few phrases. You give such dignity to a profession that is often on the front lines when it comes to failure, finger-pointing, and blame in society. Their jobs are not easy, and they don't always receive the respect they deserve. Your work is a beacon of gratitude, and I'm happy you shared it. Thank you.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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I love the depths of your work, given in only a few phrases. You give such dignity to a profession that is often on the front lines when it comes to failure, finger-pointing, and blame in society. Their jobs are not easy, and they don't always receive the respect they deserve. Your work is a beacon of gratitude, and I'm happy you shared it. Thank you.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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No problem and thank you.
Comment from Mander1976
This is a wonderful tribute to all officers of the law who sacrifice daily. Great job. My only suggestion is that peoples should be people's, with an apostrophe, and the line "telling love one's of their loss" should be "telling loved ones of their loss", d at the end of love and no apostrophe. Great poem. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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This is a wonderful tribute to all officers of the law who sacrifice daily. Great job. My only suggestion is that peoples should be people's, with an apostrophe, and the line "telling love one's of their loss" should be "telling loved ones of their loss", d at the end of love and no apostrophe. Great poem. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Sarah_Goldwell
This is a good little poem it is well written well presented and the words are meaningful. The artwork compliments the words Nice little effort well done
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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This is a good little poem it is well written well presented and the words are meaningful. The artwork compliments the words Nice little effort well done
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thank you
Comment from JeJo
Second review: I think this is an excellent entry to the clarity poem contest! Great work!
First review:
I have never heard or thought of policemen as poets. I find that concept very unique and thoughtful. You have good form, with all the right syllables and meanings. The last line, of crying justice, is amazing. Cops definitely have a hard, but rewarding occupation. I think it's great that this is for your brother.
a few SPAG issues:
- peoples safety - people's safety
- love one's - loved ones
- poets - poet's
The last line is supposed to be put in quotation marks too.
The four is because of the little spag and break of contest rules with the punctuation; since this is a really short poem, I had to lower the rating. I'll be happy to revisit and upgrade if you wish. Good job, great message, and good luck in the contest. All the best, JeJo
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Second review: I think this is an excellent entry to the clarity poem contest! Great work!
First review:
I have never heard or thought of policemen as poets. I find that concept very unique and thoughtful. You have good form, with all the right syllables and meanings. The last line, of crying justice, is amazing. Cops definitely have a hard, but rewarding occupation. I think it's great that this is for your brother.
a few SPAG issues:
- peoples safety - people's safety
- love one's - loved ones
- poets - poet's
The last line is supposed to be put in quotation marks too.
The four is because of the little spag and break of contest rules with the punctuation; since this is a really short poem, I had to lower the rating. I'll be happy to revisit and upgrade if you wish. Good job, great message, and good luck in the contest. All the best, JeJo
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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thanks for the corrections this is my first entry of this type could you go over it again for me and maybe an upgrade? thanks
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I have gone over it again, and updated my review as well as upgraded the rating :)
Comment from Amfunny
Needs a bit of work, but nicely done otherwise. You have 5, 5, 7 instead of 5, 6, 7. You need to correct your six syllable line. Good topic.
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reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Needs a bit of work, but nicely done otherwise. You have 5, 5, 7 instead of 5, 6, 7. You need to correct your six syllable line. Good topic.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thank you dont know how I missed that one I made the correction would you consider adding a star?
Comment from Arkine
Nicely done! I don't think most people understand that cops are human too, seriously, it seems like they don't. They work in a world of constant stress, physically and mentally. The worst part is some people want to kill them simply because they wear a badge ... no other reason.
They live and love and help people as much as they can.
Although, poetry isn't my personal cup of tea when it comes to writing, I do like to read it. ;) Good luck with the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Nicely done! I don't think most people understand that cops are human too, seriously, it seems like they don't. They work in a world of constant stress, physically and mentally. The worst part is some people want to kill them simply because they wear a badge ... no other reason.
They live and love and help people as much as they can.
Although, poetry isn't my personal cup of tea when it comes to writing, I do like to read it. ;) Good luck with the contest!
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thank you don't forget to vote.
Comment from annettebda
I am impressed with both the artwork and the poem Your poem is an excellent entry Perfect in concept - Precise in context
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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I am impressed with both the artwork and the poem Your poem is an excellent entry Perfect in concept - Precise in context
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thank you dont forget to vote
Comment from chita
You have great artwork and a good flow with your poem--you also have good author notes--you write with emotion of how you appreciate policemen and how they enforce the law--good job.
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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You have great artwork and a good flow with your poem--you also have good author notes--you write with emotion of how you appreciate policemen and how they enforce the law--good job.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 14-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2010
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Thank you and dont forget to vote.
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I was just thinking about today being a voting day--thank you and you did a wonderful job:))
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I was just thinking about today being a voting day--thank you and you did a wonderful job:))