Selfish
You can't have it all87 total reviews
Comment from Alaskastory
'Selfish' is a story that cannot get better. The characters are so completely described that it is difficult to feel much sympathy for either Candy or Ramirez. The dialogue is character revealing as well.
Great illustrating art. A truly fun read!
Thanks for your wonderful effort, Marie
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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'Selfish' is a story that cannot get better. The characters are so completely described that it is difficult to feel much sympathy for either Candy or Ramirez. The dialogue is character revealing as well.
Great illustrating art. A truly fun read!
Thanks for your wonderful effort, Marie
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thanks so much, Marie. I love your review...It's so encouraging and the big beautiful six! You are so generous1 XX Bob
Comment from Southern Writer
Story started sort of ordinary, rich SOB gets himself a stripper whore. It was well written, just not shocking. But the murder scene it happened so fast. Made you think of how often this sort of murder really happens. You got the mood just right.
Wonder who was at the door?
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Story started sort of ordinary, rich SOB gets himself a stripper whore. It was well written, just not shocking. But the murder scene it happened so fast. Made you think of how often this sort of murder really happens. You got the mood just right.
Wonder who was at the door?
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thanks so much, Louisiana. I appreciate all of your comments. I know this started out as camp...but what the heck, I tried...LOL...Bob
Comment from anne1204
This read like a movie from the "Film Noir" genre. I liked it. You could write a great Bogart movie. Keep up the good work. Anne 1204
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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This read like a movie from the "Film Noir" genre. I liked it. You could write a great Bogart movie. Keep up the good work. Anne 1204
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hi, Anne. I didn't see that, but I can imagine and perhaps I will Thanks so much for your great review....Bob
Comment from adewpearl
His girlfriend of seven months, was - drop the comma
blue-eyed blond, was blessed - drop the comma
I like the humor/attitude of your narrative voice in the earlier sections when you describe Candy and her sexual prowess and how that narrative voice changes as the situation grows far more serious. You describe setting well to create mood and you get inside the mind of this creep effectively. And what a compelling final scene. Brooke
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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His girlfriend of seven months, was - drop the comma
blue-eyed blond, was blessed - drop the comma
I like the humor/attitude of your narrative voice in the earlier sections when you describe Candy and her sexual prowess and how that narrative voice changes as the situation grows far more serious. You describe setting well to create mood and you get inside the mind of this creep effectively. And what a compelling final scene. Brooke
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thanks, Brooke...for your help and your encouraging review...I do appreciate both....Bob
Comment from Begin Again
Bob,
Wow,,,this one certainly pulls the reader into a deep and ugly place..Very well written and powerful. Should be an excellent contender.
Crol
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Bob,
Wow,,,this one certainly pulls the reader into a deep and ugly place..Very well written and powerful. Should be an excellent contender.
Crol
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hi,Carol...thanks so much....Bob
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Bob,
What a fast paced and intriguing story this is. So it ends with the ring of a doorbell? Yikes, I want more! Your talent for writing stories is loud and clear in this one. Excellent, my friend. Good luck in the contest....chey
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hi Bob,
What a fast paced and intriguing story this is. So it ends with the ring of a doorbell? Yikes, I want more! Your talent for writing stories is loud and clear in this one. Excellent, my friend. Good luck in the contest....chey
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Awww. You are so generous, Chey...Thank you...Especially for your words and the sixer! Bless you! XX Bob
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You are most welcome!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello Bob,
You got my attention hook line and sinker.
A very gripping short story to read.
I see in your story Candy was not as ignorant as Ramirez made her out to be.
All I know I dislike men like Ramirez.
He should get what is coming to him.
Good luck
Gert
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hello Bob,
You got my attention hook line and sinker.
A very gripping short story to read.
I see in your story Candy was not as ignorant as Ramirez made her out to be.
All I know I dislike men like Ramirez.
He should get what is coming to him.
Good luck
Gert
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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LOL...Yes, Gert...Hoooray! It is such a pleasure to hear from you again. How are you? XX Bob
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Smiles Bob, You are so welcome.
I won't complain my doctors and medications keep me going and I keep in in a good mood.
Gert
Comment from MizKat
Bob - I really like your story. Your descriptive writing is out of this world. I could learn a lot from you as I'm not that good at it. This is wonderful word art. Kat
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Bob - I really like your story. Your descriptive writing is out of this world. I could learn a lot from you as I'm not that good at it. This is wonderful word art. Kat
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Hi, Kat..LOL...See any showing in here? We will have you writing like that in no time..Follow me kid, you'll wear diamonds....LOL...Thanks again...Bob
Comment from Julian Swift
Nice work Bob. Reminds me of the Rod Stewart song, "The first cut is the deepest" but I think that the second one certainly made the point. The doorbell rang...is he going to answer it? Best wishes, and make sure you get him to clean up the mess...
Julian.
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Nice work Bob. Reminds me of the Rod Stewart song, "The first cut is the deepest" but I think that the second one certainly made the point. The doorbell rang...is he going to answer it? Best wishes, and make sure you get him to clean up the mess...
Julian.
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Thank you, Thank you! Julian ...you made my day. i've not ever gotten a review from you before ...and welll. A six right out of the shoot. You are so generous. Bless you, my friend...Bob
Comment from Brantley88
Let me guess; Ramirez is not the hero of this story...right? I like anyone who's not afraid to put a little "raw" in their work, and you certiainly did that. I even like the main character...he's real, he's mean, and he is totally self-absorbed...my kind of ass hole. This was very well written and could be the beginning of a good book. But books are an enormous commitment...
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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Let me guess; Ramirez is not the hero of this story...right? I like anyone who's not afraid to put a little "raw" in their work, and you certiainly did that. I even like the main character...he's real, he's mean, and he is totally self-absorbed...my kind of ass hole. This was very well written and could be the beginning of a good book. But books are an enormous commitment...
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 13-May-2010
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LOL...Thanks again, Brantley. I appreciate that you are starting to review my work...I value your opinion very much....Bob