Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 12; part 1"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
76 total reviews
Comment from Shirley B
Oh the road to love never runs smooth. Your chapter proves that. This is a very good story. It has me hooked and I will be a fan from now on. Your imagery is excellent. The plot is easy to follow. Very nice work, Shirley
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Oh the road to love never runs smooth. Your chapter proves that. This is a very good story. It has me hooked and I will be a fan from now on. Your imagery is excellent. The plot is easy to follow. Very nice work, Shirley
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I appreciate your support.
Comment from CaptainKurt
I liked the overall story-line, but think the first half of this chapter would benefit from longer sentences. In the second paragraph perhaps: "Leya's just fine, she has exactly what she wanted." Still, it's a good story, thanks for posting it.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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I liked the overall story-line, but think the first half of this chapter would benefit from longer sentences. In the second paragraph perhaps: "Leya's just fine, she has exactly what she wanted." Still, it's a good story, thanks for posting it.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. I will relook the sentence length. I try to vary the length, but will check it out.
Comment from jasmh
Nice post. The characters are a mess but that makes for good romance fiction. If there wasn't any conflict to resolve than it sure wouldn't mimic life would it.
No suggestions for improvement.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Nice post. The characters are a mess but that makes for good romance fiction. If there wasn't any conflict to resolve than it sure wouldn't mimic life would it.
No suggestions for improvement.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Hey, make up sex is great, so we need some conflict. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Donovan
This is now getting real...they made love and nothing has worked out since...talk about a primer on how to make a relationship go South. And the idea the men act stupid to the women they love...why I think I have some references on that very subject, many to whom I pay alimony...well, that I am suppose to pay alimony...but why send checks that would bounce...anyway..enough about my deficiencies...So..Steven thinks he was used by a woman...wow..not that is the least exclusive club I can think of. So Matt thinks she will eventually get to the point..of course she is a woman so Matt is living under the illusion mental delusion. I thought for sure Matt was going to have his way with Leya..
I really like this story. The characters have personalities and interact like people do. You write so smoothly and well, you just do a great job. I shall wait the next installment. You know the pits about posting these stories is all the reviewing you have to do to get the money to use. I do the poems because they are easy and quick to read and if you can get over the soap opera part...anyway, I ramble. Well, back to my Ensure, Metamucil and Depends.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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This is now getting real...they made love and nothing has worked out since...talk about a primer on how to make a relationship go South. And the idea the men act stupid to the women they love...why I think I have some references on that very subject, many to whom I pay alimony...well, that I am suppose to pay alimony...but why send checks that would bounce...anyway..enough about my deficiencies...So..Steven thinks he was used by a woman...wow..not that is the least exclusive club I can think of. So Matt thinks she will eventually get to the point..of course she is a woman so Matt is living under the illusion mental delusion. I thought for sure Matt was going to have his way with Leya..
I really like this story. The characters have personalities and interact like people do. You write so smoothly and well, you just do a great job. I shall wait the next installment. You know the pits about posting these stories is all the reviewing you have to do to get the money to use. I do the poems because they are easy and quick to read and if you can get over the soap opera part...anyway, I ramble. Well, back to my Ensure, Metamucil and Depends.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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"So Matt thinks she will eventually get to the point..of course she is a woman so Matt is living under the illusion mental delusion." You just broke my heart. I always get to the point, maybe in a day or so, but I do get to it, eventually. Thank you for your review. I giggled over it. Thank you so much for your support, which I greatly appreciate. I appreciate the 6, my heart be still.....
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OK..you are the exception.
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Thank you.....
Comment from c_lucas
Anger befouls one's reasoning. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. I can't see Matt in the role of Cupid. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Anger befouls one's reasoning. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. I can't see Matt in the role of Cupid. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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I am not sure Matt likes the role of Cupid, but he feels forced into it. Thank you for your kind review and support.
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You're welcome, Barbara. Charlie
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
An outstanding chapter unfortunately I'm fresh out of sixes. Leya's explanation why she sent a report to her father and Carlos made perfect sense to me. If only Steven would hear her out. I liked Matt's concern for his friend and Leya. Excellent dialogue and descriptive writing. Great narrative. Your romance is a pleasure to read. Very polished in my opinion. I can't wait for your next post.
I am recommending the awesome poem 'Will Be' by BeccaInaDaffydill
Rock on . . . Melissa!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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Barbara,
An outstanding chapter unfortunately I'm fresh out of sixes. Leya's explanation why she sent a report to her father and Carlos made perfect sense to me. If only Steven would hear her out. I liked Matt's concern for his friend and Leya. Excellent dialogue and descriptive writing. Great narrative. Your romance is a pleasure to read. Very polished in my opinion. I can't wait for your next post.
I am recommending the awesome poem 'Will Be' by BeccaInaDaffydill
Rock on . . . Melissa!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
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I will check out the poem. Thank you for your review an support.
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Barbara,
How's your teaching going. Will you be glad for summer break?
Melissa.
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41 days until summer break. But who's counting. I torn two tendons in my ankle so I am facing surgery on June 10th. I am a little concerned about that. I am supposed to be laid up for 6 weeks. I don't do laid up very well.
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But being laid up pass your time by writing.
Melissa.