Comment from krys123

Excellent

Cheers, Sis Cat;
-you have definitely captured the essence of the pain a runner goes through right before he crosses the finish line after running a very long race.
-With you definitively expressive and demonstratively descriptive imagery you have captured in anatomy of a person's aches and pains from running a long race.
-You even issued a picture that shows the enjoyment of the finish that it was all worthwhile. Though he suffered the pain and anguish of the running.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Thank you, Alex, for your detailed and passionate review of my poem about the pains and joys of running.

reply by krys123 on 24-Jul-2017

You are very welcome my dearest of friends.
Alex

Comment from TAB_that's me

Excellent

You pushed through it by prayer - I've done that often - and you did it:)

Great senryu in perfect form. I liked the double meaning in 'his knees ache'.

Teresa

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Yes, Teresa, I pushed through the pain through prayer. Thank you for your review.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very well-written senryu. It is good to be fit and able to run or walk for that far. A lot of strain are placed on the body and we should take care of it and try not to over do it.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Yes, Sandra, my doctor told me to stretch my calves to prevent foot pain. Thank you for your review.

Comment from KL Williams

Excellent

Congratulations on such a wonderful achievement! I can imagine walking 5 miles a day would put a bit of a strain on the knees and ankles, but what a wonderful feeling of accomplishment you must have had. Thanks for sharing! :)

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Thank you, KL, for your review of my poem and congratulations on finishing the race. My feet are better now and I am running.

Comment from Poetofheart2013

Excellent

A really good short poem very cute .
you said everything just right
in just a few words a very good job.
I really enjoy reading it

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Thank you, Poetofheart2013, for your review. I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem.

reply by Poetofheart2013 on 21-Jul-2017

Comment from Mustang Patty

Excellent

Hi Andre; great picture and wonderful piece about the joys and pain of running. Within the three lines of your haiku, you have shown the agony and courage it takes to compete in a race, and the joy at the finish. Well done - I hope your legs begin to feel better,

~patty~

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Yes, Patty, my legs feel better after my doctor told me to stretch my calves after walks. Thank you for your review.

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Congratulations! I have never run a 5K or walked one.

I do walk at least 5 miles a day. I wear a pedometer (Fitbit) and it counts all my steps. I get badges for walking the equivalent distance as the 'great wall of China' or a "walk across Africa" which inspire one to walk more. But, doing 5K all at one time and in one effort, is remarkable. Your physical therapist is right, leg stretches and foot massages will really help.

I enjoyed your haiku - I appreciated and can identify with the limping. haha

Well done Andre.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Oh, thank you, Janet, for your review. I wear a Fitbit, too, which inspired me to attempt to race only to end up limping across the finish line.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Andre,

How long does it take to walk 5 miles? Just curious. I've never done it ON PURPOSE. hahaha! I have done one 5K before, but it was to help someone else out. Wasn't my idea!! hahaha! Thanks for your encouragement to get back out there! Hugs-

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017

Robyn, this year it took me one hour, two minutes and fifty-seven seconds to finish the 3K race. I limped so slowly that not did I arrive near last, but I arrived as they were holding the tiny tots race around the park. Surrounded by kids who outraced me, I finished the race.

Thank you for your review.

reply by robyn corum on 19-Jul-2017

haha! But you finished!!

Comment from artisart4u

Exceptional

I enjoyed reading your senyru poem, it has foible in it and written in the present tense. Very good.

I noticed it isn't 5/7/5 and do not have 17 syllables but I guess it can vary.

Congratulations on your run and sharing your exciting moment with people on Fanstory.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017

Thank you, artisart4u, for granting my poem its first six star review. I appreciate your generosity.

Senyru and Haiku in America are allowed to have fewer than seventeen syllables. I have read a Haiku with only two syllables--tundra. In general, you want to reduce your words to the minimum. Many Haiku and senyru have been ruined by poets who padded it with unnecessary words to fit the 5-7-5 stereotype.

Thanks you for your gongratuoations on my race, too.

reply by artisart4u on 19-Jul-2017

You are right. It is sometimes hard to come up with words to fit in.

Comment from Brett Matthew West

Excellent

Prayer works every time, and some times prayer is all that does work.

Seems he was bound and determined to cross that finish line no matter what.

Poem captures this theme well.

 Comment Written 19-Jul-2017

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reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017

Yes, Brett, prayer works every time. The Africans have a proverb which goes "When you pray, move your feet." Thank you for your review.