Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "his knees ache (senryu)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
76 total reviews
Comment from krys123
Cheers, Sis Cat;
-you have definitely captured the essence of the pain a runner goes through right before he crosses the finish line after running a very long race.
-With you definitively expressive and demonstratively descriptive imagery you have captured in anatomy of a person's aches and pains from running a long race.
-You even issued a picture that shows the enjoyment of the finish that it was all worthwhile. Though he suffered the pain and anguish of the running.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Cheers, Sis Cat;
-you have definitely captured the essence of the pain a runner goes through right before he crosses the finish line after running a very long race.
-With you definitively expressive and demonstratively descriptive imagery you have captured in anatomy of a person's aches and pains from running a long race.
-You even issued a picture that shows the enjoyment of the finish that it was all worthwhile. Though he suffered the pain and anguish of the running.
-Thank you for sharing and take care and have a good one.
Alex
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Alex, for your detailed and passionate review of my poem about the pains and joys of running.
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You are very welcome my dearest of friends.
Alex
Comment from TAB_that's me
You pushed through it by prayer - I've done that often - and you did it:)
Great senryu in perfect form. I liked the double meaning in 'his knees ache'.
Teresa
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
You pushed through it by prayer - I've done that often - and you did it:)
Great senryu in perfect form. I liked the double meaning in 'his knees ache'.
Teresa
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Yes, Teresa, I pushed through the pain through prayer. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written senryu. It is good to be fit and able to run or walk for that far. A lot of strain are placed on the body and we should take care of it and try not to over do it.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
A very well-written senryu. It is good to be fit and able to run or walk for that far. A lot of strain are placed on the body and we should take care of it and try not to over do it.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Yes, Sandra, my doctor told me to stretch my calves to prevent foot pain. Thank you for your review.
Comment from KL Williams
Congratulations on such a wonderful achievement! I can imagine walking 5 miles a day would put a bit of a strain on the knees and ankles, but what a wonderful feeling of accomplishment you must have had. Thanks for sharing! :)
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Congratulations on such a wonderful achievement! I can imagine walking 5 miles a day would put a bit of a strain on the knees and ankles, but what a wonderful feeling of accomplishment you must have had. Thanks for sharing! :)
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, KL, for your review of my poem and congratulations on finishing the race. My feet are better now and I am running.
Comment from Poetofheart2013
A really good short poem very cute .
you said everything just right
in just a few words a very good job.
I really enjoy reading it
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
A really good short poem very cute .
you said everything just right
in just a few words a very good job.
I really enjoy reading it
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Thank you, Poetofheart2013, for your review. I am glad you enjoyed reading my poem.
Comment from Mustang Patty
Hi Andre; great picture and wonderful piece about the joys and pain of running. Within the three lines of your haiku, you have shown the agony and courage it takes to compete in a race, and the joy at the finish. Well done - I hope your legs begin to feel better,
~patty~
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Hi Andre; great picture and wonderful piece about the joys and pain of running. Within the three lines of your haiku, you have shown the agony and courage it takes to compete in a race, and the joy at the finish. Well done - I hope your legs begin to feel better,
~patty~
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Yes, Patty, my legs feel better after my doctor told me to stretch my calves after walks. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Janet Foor
Congratulations! I have never run a 5K or walked one.
I do walk at least 5 miles a day. I wear a pedometer (Fitbit) and it counts all my steps. I get badges for walking the equivalent distance as the 'great wall of China' or a "walk across Africa" which inspire one to walk more. But, doing 5K all at one time and in one effort, is remarkable. Your physical therapist is right, leg stretches and foot massages will really help.
I enjoyed your haiku - I appreciated and can identify with the limping. haha
Well done Andre.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Congratulations! I have never run a 5K or walked one.
I do walk at least 5 miles a day. I wear a pedometer (Fitbit) and it counts all my steps. I get badges for walking the equivalent distance as the 'great wall of China' or a "walk across Africa" which inspire one to walk more. But, doing 5K all at one time and in one effort, is remarkable. Your physical therapist is right, leg stretches and foot massages will really help.
I enjoyed your haiku - I appreciated and can identify with the limping. haha
Well done Andre.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Oh, thank you, Janet, for your review. I wear a Fitbit, too, which inspired me to attempt to race only to end up limping across the finish line.
Comment from robyn corum
Andre,
How long does it take to walk 5 miles? Just curious. I've never done it ON PURPOSE. hahaha! I have done one 5K before, but it was to help someone else out. Wasn't my idea!! hahaha! Thanks for your encouragement to get back out there! Hugs-
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
Andre,
How long does it take to walk 5 miles? Just curious. I've never done it ON PURPOSE. hahaha! I have done one 5K before, but it was to help someone else out. Wasn't my idea!! hahaha! Thanks for your encouragement to get back out there! Hugs-
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Robyn, this year it took me one hour, two minutes and fifty-seven seconds to finish the 3K race. I limped so slowly that not did I arrive near last, but I arrived as they were holding the tiny tots race around the park. Surrounded by kids who outraced me, I finished the race.
Thank you for your review.
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haha! But you finished!!
Comment from artisart4u
I enjoyed reading your senyru poem, it has foible in it and written in the present tense. Very good.
I noticed it isn't 5/7/5 and do not have 17 syllables but I guess it can vary.
Congratulations on your run and sharing your exciting moment with people on Fanstory.
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
I enjoyed reading your senyru poem, it has foible in it and written in the present tense. Very good.
I noticed it isn't 5/7/5 and do not have 17 syllables but I guess it can vary.
Congratulations on your run and sharing your exciting moment with people on Fanstory.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 19-Jul-2017
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Thank you, artisart4u, for granting my poem its first six star review. I appreciate your generosity.
Senyru and Haiku in America are allowed to have fewer than seventeen syllables. I have read a Haiku with only two syllables--tundra. In general, you want to reduce your words to the minimum. Many Haiku and senyru have been ruined by poets who padded it with unnecessary words to fit the 5-7-5 stereotype.
Thanks you for your gongratuoations on my race, too.
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You are right. It is sometimes hard to come up with words to fit in.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Prayer works every time, and some times prayer is all that does work.
Seems he was bound and determined to cross that finish line no matter what.
Poem captures this theme well.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
Prayer works every time, and some times prayer is all that does work.
Seems he was bound and determined to cross that finish line no matter what.
Poem captures this theme well.
Comment Written 19-Jul-2017
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2017
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Yes, Brett, prayer works every time. The Africans have a proverb which goes "When you pray, move your feet." Thank you for your review.