Writings From the Heart
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "I leave this Note "A book of Poetry & Writing
104 total reviews
Comment from Joseph W. Sestrich
Your poem was transporting. It took me into the trenches and into the life's of these two men. The maddness and futility of their situation were powerfully described. Was the reason for their deaths reflective of the purpose of their lives? Your descriptive lines artfully filled the battle grounds canvas. "in fields so wet with shades of grey" and taking us up out of the trenches and into the open field where "shrapnel killed the brave all day"
And, in the end only a letter is left to tell what their lost voices could not.
A powerful poem.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Your poem was transporting. It took me into the trenches and into the life's of these two men. The maddness and futility of their situation were powerfully described. Was the reason for their deaths reflective of the purpose of their lives? Your descriptive lines artfully filled the battle grounds canvas. "in fields so wet with shades of grey" and taking us up out of the trenches and into the open field where "shrapnel killed the brave all day"
And, in the end only a letter is left to tell what their lost voices could not.
A powerful poem.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you again Joseph for this review
Comment from kiwijenny
You have penned a powerful powerful poem...makes me think that if all the mothers of the world got together and claimed their sons and hugged the other mothers and their sons...and spoke of mutual love...just maybe...they would have to stop these wars
Sigh
God bless
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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You have penned a powerful powerful poem...makes me think that if all the mothers of the world got together and claimed their sons and hugged the other mothers and their sons...and spoke of mutual love...just maybe...they would have to stop these wars
Sigh
God bless
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you for this
Comment from Andrewajgblue
A great poem showing the futility of war and the waste of young lives,
I liked the two sides interaction, and the great wording captured the starkness, well done,
Andrew
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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A great poem showing the futility of war and the waste of young lives,
I liked the two sides interaction, and the great wording captured the starkness, well done,
Andrew
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you Andrew
Comment from acerisestory
This is a well-written poem, Gary. I like the repetition -- saying that each of the antagonists are feeling the same. The mothers cry for their boys, no matter where they are called to fight.
My only suggestion would be to change the 4th line of the first two stanzas to read ". . . mud and sand where the dead lie all around." That line seems awkward, to me, as written.
Great job with another piece of history, Gary. Thanks for sharing your poetic talent. Take care. Alana
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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This is a well-written poem, Gary. I like the repetition -- saying that each of the antagonists are feeling the same. The mothers cry for their boys, no matter where they are called to fight.
My only suggestion would be to change the 4th line of the first two stanzas to read ". . . mud and sand where the dead lie all around." That line seems awkward, to me, as written.
Great job with another piece of history, Gary. Thanks for sharing your poetic talent. Take care. Alana
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you Alana
Comment from Tina McKala
great poem, well deserved 6 stars. war is killing everybody, there is no real difference between teh soldiers, only the side of a war field. terrible times that hopefully will never repeat.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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great poem, well deserved 6 stars. war is killing everybody, there is no real difference between teh soldiers, only the side of a war field. terrible times that hopefully will never repeat.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you Tina for this
Gary
Comment from RGstar
Iit took my slow brain a while to work this one oout wondering why the same poem repeated itself through the first stanzas.
Alas I saw the respective perspectives of each party thus arriving at the same conclusion.
Unusual but well thought of.
Good write.
RGstar
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Iit took my slow brain a while to work this one oout wondering why the same poem repeated itself through the first stanzas.
Alas I saw the respective perspectives of each party thus arriving at the same conclusion.
Unusual but well thought of.
Good write.
RGstar
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thanks RG
Comment from emrpoems
lovely internal rhymes and good rhythm.
You paint a realistic picture of the ware and all the thoughts that go through the minds of those engaged.
Well paired picture and poem
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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lovely internal rhymes and good rhythm.
You paint a realistic picture of the ware and all the thoughts that go through the minds of those engaged.
Well paired picture and poem
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you
Comment from pattipac
Your powerful words bring home the personal agony our service men and women have endured, while fighting for their country. Oh, how I wish our leaders, who never watch their their sons and daughters go off to war, would find more human ways of settling their differences.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Your powerful words bring home the personal agony our service men and women have endured, while fighting for their country. Oh, how I wish our leaders, who never watch their their sons and daughters go off to war, would find more human ways of settling their differences.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you for this
Comment from Linda England Bonam
This was an awesome poem. I liked the way you divided it up into the three parts. I also liked the font you used and the picture. All around was a great piece.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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This was an awesome poem. I liked the way you divided it up into the three parts. I also liked the font you used and the picture. All around was a great piece.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you Linda
Comment from robina1978
Excellent old photo again about the war. I like the way you set up your poem: first the British, then the German and No man's land. All the brave at both sides were killed that day.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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Excellent old photo again about the war. I like the way you set up your poem: first the British, then the German and No man's land. All the brave at both sides were killed that day.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2014
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2014
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thank you robina
