Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Devils Seed"memiors from my life experiences.
116 total reviews
Comment from Joan E.
Haven't we all been seduced by temptation? I enjoyed your rhyming couplets and your reference to Moses. Your presentation is quite dramatic as well.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Haven't we all been seduced by temptation? I enjoyed your rhyming couplets and your reference to Moses. Your presentation is quite dramatic as well.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you for taking the time to review my poem and for the stars.
Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
WOW! What a powerful and dramatic writing- and WHAT a picture to perfectly top it off! These are such deep words of truth- and I know that many of us have submitted to temptation. Lovely writing- perfect in every way! Betty
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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WOW! What a powerful and dramatic writing- and WHAT a picture to perfectly top it off! These are such deep words of truth- and I know that many of us have submitted to temptation. Lovely writing- perfect in every way! Betty
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you for taking the time to review my poem and for the stars.
Comment from Lois Delaney
Temptation is truly the devil's work. It is good to admit to it, as we can all be in the same circumstances, and care not to. I thought you did a great job writing this. So sad to succumb, but we are all guilty in one area or another. Lois
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Temptation is truly the devil's work. It is good to admit to it, as we can all be in the same circumstances, and care not to. I thought you did a great job writing this. So sad to succumb, but we are all guilty in one area or another. Lois
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you for taking the time to review my poem and for the stars.
Comment from Amicus
Interesting poem...succumbing to temptation has led to painful self loathing for this narrator that much is clear but the allusion to Moses has less clarity (abandoned at birth by a mother whose chance of keeping him alive on her own was hopeless and brought up as royalty but to be his true self he needed to abandon that identity...how is it that he never knew hopeless abandonment?) There is a competent cleverness to the couplets but the poem is difficult to understand IMHO and for me does deliver enough content wise that I am willing to dig for what ever meaning it carries...Perhaps the temptation to wallow in self loathing and to be the worst of the worst was irresistible to this narrator and that's all that is being said here.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Interesting poem...succumbing to temptation has led to painful self loathing for this narrator that much is clear but the allusion to Moses has less clarity (abandoned at birth by a mother whose chance of keeping him alive on her own was hopeless and brought up as royalty but to be his true self he needed to abandon that identity...how is it that he never knew hopeless abandonment?) There is a competent cleverness to the couplets but the poem is difficult to understand IMHO and for me does deliver enough content wise that I am willing to dig for what ever meaning it carries...Perhaps the temptation to wallow in self loathing and to be the worst of the worst was irresistible to this narrator and that's all that is being said here.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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maybe thanks
Comment from R. J. Stewart
Interesting piece. The language is complex and fluent. But I find the message a little hazy. I'm not an expert, however. I think the message is, "Be good", to simplify things. Don't get caught in the Devil's embrace or you'll never escape.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Interesting piece. The language is complex and fluent. But I find the message a little hazy. I'm not an expert, however. I think the message is, "Be good", to simplify things. Don't get caught in the Devil's embrace or you'll never escape.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from jgirlie152
Very well written poem. It sends a message that may not be pleasant but the words fall well in a way that can be understood how many can be drawn into evil and endless pain by the devil himself.
Joan
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Very well written poem. It sends a message that may not be pleasant but the words fall well in a way that can be understood how many can be drawn into evil and endless pain by the devil himself.
Joan
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from percival86jack
WOW! Very powerful, my friend...
it's not from angels up in heaven
or from preachers and their brethren
not just from lust and greed
from pain spawns the Devil's seed
Cheers, Jack
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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WOW! Very powerful, my friend...
it's not from angels up in heaven
or from preachers and their brethren
not just from lust and greed
from pain spawns the Devil's seed
Cheers, Jack
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Ted T
This is a good one. I see you lean toward the dark as well.
Well written with great imaging and word choice.
It has a universal message and good rhythm. I liked the structure of your stanzas.
Ted
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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This is a good one. I see you lean toward the dark as well.
Well written with great imaging and word choice.
It has a universal message and good rhythm. I liked the structure of your stanzas.
Ted
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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Thanks
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You're welcome.
Ted
Comment from Fish
Hi, K!
First off, there is no need to put the title
of the poem in the poem, as it is already
posted above the poem. The rules of the site,
if you'd read them, actually tell the poster
not to do this; truthfully, I don't care, but
it does seem a bit glaring and repetitive.
Now, onto the poem.
Reads religious in form or pronouncement but
seems rather vague and disoriented.
Clarity is really one the hardest things to
achieve in writing. And, I believe, poetry
is one form of writing which clearly demands
it be so.
I like the sentiment and the flowery similes.
Nice. fish
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
 |
Hi, K!
First off, there is no need to put the title
of the poem in the poem, as it is already
posted above the poem. The rules of the site,
if you'd read them, actually tell the poster
not to do this; truthfully, I don't care, but
it does seem a bit glaring and repetitive.
Now, onto the poem.
Reads religious in form or pronouncement but
seems rather vague and disoriented.
Clarity is really one the hardest things to
achieve in writing. And, I believe, poetry
is one form of writing which clearly demands
it be so.
I like the sentiment and the flowery similes.
Nice. fish
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
-
thanks
Comment from Kelly Shackelford
This is awesome! Too bad it is not entered into the temptation contest! It painted a very vivid, wicked picture of temptation.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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This is awesome! Too bad it is not entered into the temptation contest! It painted a very vivid, wicked picture of temptation.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2010
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thanks kelly