Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Chapter 13, part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
69 total reviews
Comment from Isaiah Ramesses
Awe...poor Leya. Your chapter flowed with force and placed me on an emotional rollercoaster. I hated to see Steven locked away. But, all this makes a very good read, Barbara.
Very good narrative, and dialogue that holds your attention 'til the very end.
Isaiah Ramesses
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Awe...poor Leya. Your chapter flowed with force and placed me on an emotional rollercoaster. I hated to see Steven locked away. But, all this makes a very good read, Barbara.
Very good narrative, and dialogue that holds your attention 'til the very end.
Isaiah Ramesses
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your review. The rollercoaster will continue until the end.
Comment from adewpearl
I'm sorry, Mrs. Albright - add comma
Hispanic accent, making certain - add comma
Talk about miscommunication. And now Leya is so worried Steven will hate her when in reality he loves her SO much.
I sure hope they set things straight between them soon because it's bad enough they're in danger from outside threats without causing each other heartache :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I'm sorry, Mrs. Albright - add comma
Hispanic accent, making certain - add comma
Talk about miscommunication. And now Leya is so worried Steven will hate her when in reality he loves her SO much.
I sure hope they set things straight between them soon because it's bad enough they're in danger from outside threats without causing each other heartache :-) Brooke
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I fixed those little comma errors. I hate commas, I wish I could go down a checklist for them. Thank you for your review.
Comment from RolandtheGunslinger
Well this sure is a Payton Place moment. It has all the fine trappings of love and deceit rolled into one. I can see back stabbing all over the place. This was the first read of any of your chapters. I liked it a lot. It was easy to follow. Had lots of questions, the five w's sums that up...I do wonder what lies beneath all of the drama.
A good read.
RolandtheGunslinger
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Well this sure is a Payton Place moment. It has all the fine trappings of love and deceit rolled into one. I can see back stabbing all over the place. This was the first read of any of your chapters. I liked it a lot. It was easy to follow. Had lots of questions, the five w's sums that up...I do wonder what lies beneath all of the drama.
A good read.
RolandtheGunslinger
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from RazberryBullet
By now, Leya should know better that Steven wouldn't yell at her.
Liked this ploy: She used a heavy Hispanic accent making certain the sheriff understood she wasn't an American.
I don't get the last three paragraphs. It reads as though the sheriff unlocks the cell twice.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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By now, Leya should know better that Steven wouldn't yell at her.
Liked this ploy: She used a heavy Hispanic accent making certain the sheriff understood she wasn't an American.
I don't get the last three paragraphs. It reads as though the sheriff unlocks the cell twice.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I will recheck it. The first paragraph should have been in Leya's POV, and then the last in Steven's. It may not work. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from laurelp
This chapter had a sense of humor about it. I wish every sheriff would take that part of his job more seriously. Very well done. Their life is definitely complicated. Good description and excellent dialogue.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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This chapter had a sense of humor about it. I wish every sheriff would take that part of his job more seriously. Very well done. Their life is definitely complicated. Good description and excellent dialogue.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your review and seeing the humor, I hoped it worked.
Comment from jadapenn
I thought that was the love cabin. Now you tell me its the small town jail. Lovely continuation with the story. I think Leya needs to stop thinking all types of things about Steven - just jump into his arms and kiss his mouth off. Loved it.
Luv jada
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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I thought that was the love cabin. Now you tell me its the small town jail. Lovely continuation with the story. I think Leya needs to stop thinking all types of things about Steven - just jump into his arms and kiss his mouth off. Loved it.
Luv jada
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you. I wish she would too, but she's a stubborn lass. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from anabelle
Good chapter. I'm glad they got things straightened out, although I'm with Matt on this. It's really funny to think of Steven behind bars to keep Leya. Well done.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Good chapter. I'm glad they got things straightened out, although I'm with Matt on this. It's really funny to think of Steven behind bars to keep Leya. Well done.
Thanks for the good read.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your review. Leya isn't quite ready to forgive Steven.
Comment from bhogg
Anytime I see one of your posts, I'm going to read it. I've enjoyed this little ride with Leya Vegas and task force 385! I didn't seen any area where revisions need to be made.
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Anytime I see one of your posts, I'm going to read it. I've enjoyed this little ride with Leya Vegas and task force 385! I didn't seen any area where revisions need to be made.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from rmdelta
Barbara,
another great and entertaining chapter, dear friend. Terrific dialogue is your power here, as well as in your other chapters. You work it even better here. Great job.
Reggie
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reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Barbara,
another great and entertaining chapter, dear friend. Terrific dialogue is your power here, as well as in your other chapters. You work it even better here. Great job.
Reggie
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-May-2010
reply by the author on 01-May-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.
