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Tantalizing Eyes

Viewing comments for Chapter 42 "Chapter 12; part 1"
Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?

76 total reviews 
Comment from Juliette Chamberlain
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So Steven is going off somewhere to lick his wounds, thinking he has been used. Depending on how one looks at it, I suppose that could appear to be the case.
Maybe teh cultural differences are beginning to show a little as well.
Good chapter, keeping the tension on.

Juliette

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from anabelle
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Good chapter, Barbara. Wow! Just when I thought things were settling down between them. You certainly know how to throw in the twists and turns.

Thanks for the lovely read.

Regards, anabelle

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind review. I certainly let them sail smoothly in love, the novel would have to end.
Comment from Mariea
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Good morning Barbara. A good continuation of the story. Well written, as ever, without cluttere or any spags that I could see.

Have a great day, regards Mia

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a great day.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
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this is very well written with good form, good meter, good flow, wonderful picture. i am enjoying this story and can't wait to see how steve forgives leya. good job

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Savoy8you
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I LIKE YOUR STORIES AND I LIKE THIS CHAPTER. ME AND MY MOM LIKE READING THEM BECAUSE IT GIVES A CHARACTER AND POINT OF VIEW

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for the nice compliment. I appreciate your review.
Comment from Patrick G Cox
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Hi barbara,

Silly man, he could at least have asked and thought about it.

Well written dialogues and good descriptions. I liked the interplay between Leya and Matt.

Patrick

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from lola29
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Wow! I think Leya may have had good intentions, but she certainly went about it all wrong. Unless, of course, she's pretending with Matt. I feel sorry for Steven.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Leya intentions are honorable, just misguided. Thank you for your support and the review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
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Now i cannot wait to read the next chapter. I am longing to know how this poor (well, rich but disadvantaged ) girl will wriggle out of this tight corner. IN ONE of the lines in italics, you omitted the word 'of'. Great work. cheers

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    I will check it out. Thank you for finding my left out word. I read what it's supposed to say, not what it actually says. I appreciate your support.
Comment from Helen Tan
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I think Matt might just be able to talk Steven round and get him to return.

he put his hand on her back and rubbed softly.
I feel that "and gently stroked it" sounds more concerned. Maybe "rubbed" sounds a bit harder, just a thought.

someway
I'm not sure about this but should this read as two words, after all it implies "some plan", some method"...so should be written as two words?

Matt saw the chocolate candy bar and a slip of paper on the floor and picked them up.
Two "and" in this sentence, the first for listing, the second for joining two sentences. Suggest "Matt saw the chocolate candy bar and a slip of paper on the floor. He picked them up."

Everything will workout.
"work out" - two words, otherwise it's an exercise routine.

Leya dried her cheeks and took a deep breath.
Line spacing before this.

I told him he couldn't annul the marriage because I wasn't a virgin. He slapped me and called me a liar.
OK now I see why she needs to have the non virgin documentation.

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    I copied this so I can make all the corrections. Thank you for your review and support. I appreciate from a great author like you.
reply by Helen Tan on 10-Apr-2010
    Not a great author, just a fellow author. =D
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    I've read your work. I am impressed. You're very good.
Comment from jadapenn
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Hi Girlfriend, this was a very nice chapter. Matt is still the terrific and dependable guy. He now seems to be everyone's big daddy. I loved the emotion in the chapter. Poor Leya. I hope Steven comes to his senses - soon.
One little gremlin:

She's not capable [of] doing anything that bad. She must be exaggerating.
Luv jada

 Comment Written 10-Apr-2010


reply by the author on 10-Apr-2010
    Hey, I have always loved Matt. He's the man I wish more men would be like. Oh well, he's a figment of my imagination. Thank you for your review. I am trying to read your latest post, but keep getting interrupted.