Puddles
A Nove Otto poem for the contest66 total reviews
Comment from JDRBAR
I have a bit of trouble correlating the first five lines with the last four. It seems like two unrelated poems. Taking time to enjoy the reflections in a puddle can be a beautiful sensation of observing the world in a mirror image. It isn't a pretense for adult or child. Perhaps a better choice of word could be used to pull this together in a more cohesive way. Maybe something like....but children thrive on continuance, a puddle invites much more than that, ....
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reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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I have a bit of trouble correlating the first five lines with the last four. It seems like two unrelated poems. Taking time to enjoy the reflections in a puddle can be a beautiful sensation of observing the world in a mirror image. It isn't a pretense for adult or child. Perhaps a better choice of word could be used to pull this together in a more cohesive way. Maybe something like....but children thrive on continuance, a puddle invites much more than that, ....
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 16-Sep-2017
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I've decided to attack my inbox of reviews back-to-front today, for I never quite seem to get to the bottom of it! Apologies for not having responded to this for well over a week, which is not a reflection on the value i place on it! You have pinpointed a weakness in this poem that i have been mulling over for a while. 'Pretense' isn't the best word to express what I was meaning, and I will be going back to revise that part of the poem. Thanks for your input! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from damommy
An excellent poem about puddles and children. I must confess I still like to play in the rain. I probably freak out my neighbors. lol. I love reflections in the water, too.
There's a lot of action in this poem, and sounds, too.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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An excellent poem about puddles and children. I must confess I still like to play in the rain. I probably freak out my neighbors. lol. I love reflections in the water, too.
There's a lot of action in this poem, and sounds, too.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Thanks, Yvonne. I love reflections, too. We often have ducks and egrets on the farm dams at this time of the year and I delight in the shimmering images in the water.
Comment from Irish Rain
I LOVE this!!! I like the whimsy of it, the fun, I LOVE the picture, and your choice of words. A wonderfully delightful entry!!! Perfect!! Makes me want to go find a puddle!! Blessings....
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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I LOVE this!!! I like the whimsy of it, the fun, I LOVE the picture, and your choice of words. A wonderfully delightful entry!!! Perfect!! Makes me want to go find a puddle!! Blessings....
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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What a lovely review! Six stars, as well! Puddle jumpers unite! Blessings to you, too!
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Yes!!! We have many puddles here, but since I love the rain...never enough!
Comment from dragonpoet
Nice look at the innocence and curiosity of a child. It shows how much we change as we age. You create strong images and I like the onomtopeia
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Nice look at the innocence and curiosity of a child. It shows how much we change as we age. You create strong images and I like the onomtopeia
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing
Joan
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Many thanks, Joan. Glad you liked the sound of it! Best wishes, Tony
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Don't mention it, Tony.
Joan
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Hello my friend this is well written and flows well children do find puddles fascinating and irresistible I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Hello my friend this is well written and flows well children do find puddles fascinating and irresistible I enjoyed good luck regards Jill
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Thanks, Jill. It sometimes takes a child to remind us of the joys of getting our feet wet! LOL
Comment from DR DIP
I love this cute little write in this poetic form T. I was saying to another poet just before how I am very staid in my style of rhyming poetry, sticking to the standard for rhyme schemes with nearly all of my poetry which is now well over 4000 poems
Fanstory has been a great learning curve for me and exposure to some great poets such as yourself.
Thanks for sharing this write. Great accompanying photo as well
dip
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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I love this cute little write in this poetic form T. I was saying to another poet just before how I am very staid in my style of rhyming poetry, sticking to the standard for rhyme schemes with nearly all of my poetry which is now well over 4000 poems
Fanstory has been a great learning curve for me and exposure to some great poets such as yourself.
Thanks for sharing this write. Great accompanying photo as well
dip
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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You are so right, Dip. There is much to challenge and extend us here on FS. I find the variety of forms stimulating and the variety of poets even more so. There is such a richness in ways of looking at the world. I appreciate your review. Many thanks for it. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from His Grayness
This is another smile making delight from this wonderful poet that always brings something rich and enlightening through his work. The art /photography is perfect for this short but powerful and uplifting work. I
loved this in all dimensions and thank this outstanding author for a great read! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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This is another smile making delight from this wonderful poet that always brings something rich and enlightening through his work. The art /photography is perfect for this short but powerful and uplifting work. I
loved this in all dimensions and thank this outstanding author for a great read! HIS GRAYNESS; Vance
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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I always look forward to hearing from you, Vance. Your reviews are so affirming!. Many thanks for the six stars accompanying this one. As always, much appreciated! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from Kingsrookviii
Absolutely wonderful poem, Tony. This is so true of my grandson, Brennan. I learn from him so much every day. Kids are just so very amazing and they are intuitive by nature. They just cut through of the BS! Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Absolutely wonderful poem, Tony. This is so true of my grandson, Brennan. I learn from him so much every day. Kids are just so very amazing and they are intuitive by nature. They just cut through of the BS! Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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You are so right! Children help us to touch base with reality once in a while! I very much appreciate your review, Bruce, and the six stars. Many thanks! Best wishes, Tony
Comment from moongirlwriter
Love this poem and the concept. I am linked with children and love how this works for who they are with puddles.
One line don't quite work for me. . . but now I think I'm seeing where it comes from and where it goes. . . .lines 3, 7 and 9 all actually rhyme with each other and fit together, yet separately with the rest of the poem. Hmmmm, interesting. Okay.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Love this poem and the concept. I am linked with children and love how this works for who they are with puddles.
One line don't quite work for me. . . but now I think I'm seeing where it comes from and where it goes. . . .lines 3, 7 and 9 all actually rhyme with each other and fit together, yet separately with the rest of the poem. Hmmmm, interesting. Okay.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Yes, I agree. It's an odd rhyme scheme. Not sure that i like it all that much, but that's the way a Nove Otto goes, so I guess I'm stuck with it for the contest! Thanks for the review. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from robyn corum
Tony,
I love the way you see the world through the eyes of a child in this poem. At the moment I have a wee one hanging from my hair! hahahaha! I am sure she would love your poem were she a bit older!! Thanks for sharing and much luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Tony,
I love the way you see the world through the eyes of a child in this poem. At the moment I have a wee one hanging from my hair! hahahaha! I am sure she would love your poem were she a bit older!! Thanks for sharing and much luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 06-Sep-2017
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2017
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Sounds like the perfect way to have a bad hair day! LOL Children have a way of sweeping away all pretensions. Thanks for your review, Robyn. Appreciated. Best wishes, Tony
