Haiku Club Challenges, Book II
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "haiku (harsh tongues can cut deep)"an anthology of haiku written by fanstory poets
67 total reviews
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very well-written horror haiku. We do not always realize how powerful our words are. Cruel words can cut deep into a child's soul. We as parents must always look what we say and how we talk to our children.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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A very well-written horror haiku. We do not always realize how powerful our words are. Cruel words can cut deep into a child's soul. We as parents must always look what we say and how we talk to our children.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks...
Comment from Ric Myworld
Wo, dier, Wa-Wace, watch out for doze wabbits wunning across da woad, and the lady with the butcher knife, wooking to wound one of doze wabbits, so she can put it in wiff da noodles and vegetables. I hope she catches it. So it won't be me and brother boiled for dinner tonight. Yes, I have gone crazy. Thanks for sharing. :-)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Wo, dier, Wa-Wace, watch out for doze wabbits wunning across da woad, and the lady with the butcher knife, wooking to wound one of doze wabbits, so she can put it in wiff da noodles and vegetables. I hope she catches it. So it won't be me and brother boiled for dinner tonight. Yes, I have gone crazy. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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You Wascaly Wabbit, Ric.
Thanks for your weveiw.
~Dean
Comment from Bill Schott
This haiku, Harsh Tongues Can Cut Deep, relates a truism that is written everywhere including the Bible. The word I think your using is 'winter' with a T, Dean. If not, I don't get it. Happy day.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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This haiku, Harsh Tongues Can Cut Deep, relates a truism that is written everywhere including the Bible. The word I think your using is 'winter' with a T, Dean. If not, I don't get it. Happy day.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Yeah, it should've read "winter", Bill.
Thanks very much for catching that.
I had the font a crimson color but got a four star rating from someone who claimed they couldn't read it.
See what you think...
Could you read it?
Anyhow, I made a mistake in rewriting it.
I appreciate the review.
~Dean
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I read it first on my Iphone and had to enlarge it. Here on my desktop computer it reads fine. If you've sharpened the color that was probably a good call. Bill
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I hope so, Bill, and thanks again for calling that to my attention.
Three people had read it before you after it was changed, but none of them said a word.
Go figure...
Comment from danpald
As always your poem is full of common since
It is unfortunate too many have non
I do wonder if the second line is correct
"winder" or "winter" was meant
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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As always your poem is full of common since
It is unfortunate too many have non
I do wonder if the second line is correct
"winder" or "winter" was meant
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks...
Comment from Hitcher
That is very true mate, it is often the good adult/parent who will live to regret their outburst and apologize when the dust settles... unfortunately there are others who seam to make their children's lives a living hell quite simply because they can.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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That is very true mate, it is often the good adult/parent who will live to regret their outburst and apologize when the dust settles... unfortunately there are others who seam to make their children's lives a living hell quite simply because they can.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks, Hitch! :)
Comment from damommy
Sadly, that's true. Words can never be taken back, no matter what you do or say after. I try never to say something I don't mean because of that. I have pretty much thought out what I want to say before I say it.
I think once we have hurt someone with our words, we hurt worse than the recipient.
An excellent entry for your book. Sorry I'm out of sixes.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Sadly, that's true. Words can never be taken back, no matter what you do or say after. I try never to say something I don't mean because of that. I have pretty much thought out what I want to say before I say it.
I think once we have hurt someone with our words, we hurt worse than the recipient.
An excellent entry for your book. Sorry I'm out of sixes.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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No worries, Yvonne. I appreciate your comments just the same.
Besides, I'm outta sixes already myself, sooooo.... LOL
Thanks very much for your review.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Dean, so true harsh words can indeed cut a wound that may never quite heal. And once said they can never be taken back. I have suggestion. What about:
harsh tongues cut deep
like cruel frigid winter winds
words wielded to wound
'can' somehow takes some of the impact away.
I like the play with the letter 'w'. The alliteration
All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Hi Dean, so true harsh words can indeed cut a wound that may never quite heal. And once said they can never be taken back. I have suggestion. What about:
harsh tongues cut deep
like cruel frigid winter winds
words wielded to wound
'can' somehow takes some of the impact away.
I like the play with the letter 'w'. The alliteration
All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Well, too many haiku purists get bent way outta shape here at good Ol' FanStory when a haiku isn't E-X-A-C-T-L-Y seventeen syllables, Ulla--in my defense.
Besides, when writing it, the haiku just came out that way, so I ran with it.
Much obliged.
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Oh dear, I was not talking syllables at all. All I thought was that 'can' was not needed. Didn't mean to offend. Couldn't be further from my mind. It was a suggestion only :)))
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I wasn't offended in the slightest, Ulla.
Merely stating a fact, is all.
The haiku police are all about a syllable count of exactly 17, no picture can be used, blah-blah-blah...
No worries.
~Dean
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Oh, you should know I don't go for that.
Comment from Sasha
Having survived both verbal and physical abuse as a child, I can say with authority, the verbal abuse was much harder to overcome. Words can cut deep into the heart and, for some, never heal. Excellent work with this Haiku and deserving of 6 stars, but alas, I am already out.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Having survived both verbal and physical abuse as a child, I can say with authority, the verbal abuse was much harder to overcome. Words can cut deep into the heart and, for some, never heal. Excellent work with this Haiku and deserving of 6 stars, but alas, I am already out.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks, Sasha.
I can never seem to get to you with something you feel is six worthy until you've used yours all up.
Oh well, I'll just have to keep trying.
Thanks for reading.
Take care,
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I usually try to keep a few for the end of the week but failed miserably this week. I'll work harder next week.
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No, no...I need to work harder to write something you feel is worthy of a six before you use them all.
What do you like most--romance, satire, or just a good free verse?
You reviewed Knock, knock, my spooky story, but that wasn't good enough to do it. You reviewed my sonnet, but that didn't do the trick either (and that was romance!).
I will figure it out eventually... :)
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To be honest I love everything you write. I guess it depends on when you post them. I am usually stingy with my 6's on Sunday because I am trying to save them but end up using them up long before I am done reading great posts. I like you poems the best, but your creepy horror stories are terrific to. It is only Tuesday and I am already out of 6's but I promise to save a couple for you next week. And a promise is a promise!
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I haven't been reading and reviewing nearly s much as usual myself, Sasha.
I have a publisher, Dark Horse Press, that I've been working with to try and get a collection of my dark poems into book/manuscript format. It's been very time consuming.
My point is that I too love your Smurphy Rambles. It is one of the few long-running prose pieces I'll take the time to read due to time constraints. I try to never miss it, if possible.
Take care,
~Dean
Comment from Thomas Bowling
This is a true poem. I like the use of alliteration. It's a clever tool, not used enough. It makes your brain cells wake up. The picture is an excellent touch.
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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This is a true poem. I like the use of alliteration. It's a clever tool, not used enough. It makes your brain cells wake up. The picture is an excellent touch.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Thanks.
Comment from Thal1959
Another fine Haiku with flowing alliterations. By the way, did you know "wielded" is actually a three syllable word? ( Just kidding, Deano!)
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Another fine Haiku with flowing alliterations. By the way, did you know "wielded" is actually a three syllable word? ( Just kidding, Deano!)
Comment Written 27-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2017
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Hahaha, thanks, David. I appreciate your humorous comments. I could use a good laugh today, especially after the crappy day I had yesterday.
Much obliged, my
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You are always welcome, Dean.
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By the way, Dean... have you read Sis cat's "Scattered like my thoughts?" It is a 5-7-5, but it might be the perfect Haiku.
