The Window
Can Darkness Expunge the Light?90 total reviews
Comment from Ulla
Jay, I'm very taken with this. It's profound and goes deep. My take on it is many fold. It really gets the imagination working. One interpretation is an out of body experience. But the beauty is that it can mean so many things depending on the reader's frame of mind. Wonderful. Good luck in the contest. What a shame I don't have a six, which it so clearly deserves. All the best. Ulla:))
ps. the artwork is spot on.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Jay, I'm very taken with this. It's profound and goes deep. My take on it is many fold. It really gets the imagination working. One interpretation is an out of body experience. But the beauty is that it can mean so many things depending on the reader's frame of mind. Wonderful. Good luck in the contest. What a shame I don't have a six, which it so clearly deserves. All the best. Ulla:))
ps. the artwork is spot on.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Ulla, a six, after your wonderful comments, would be superfluous! Thank you, my dear, for your thoughtfulness.
Jay
Comment from Rubylou
This is truly a deep and reflective poem. Sometime while observing others we come across a window into our own life.
Great presentation and illustration to compliment your work.
Beautifully written.
Rubylou
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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This is truly a deep and reflective poem. Sometime while observing others we come across a window into our own life.
Great presentation and illustration to compliment your work.
Beautifully written.
Rubylou
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Rubylou, you are indeed a deep reader. It's wonderful to find someone who isn't out for only the "money".
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
To close the blinds and bolt the door on someone who has taken a fall, does, in all honesty, bring a person down lower than the one who'd fallen. This is a very profound poem, Jay, and when I read it the first time, I wondered if the man had dementia, or something similar and was remembering a time long past. It could be taken several ways, but that is poetry, we see in it what we will. It's as personal to the reader as it is the poet. Superb writing, my friend, and I wish you lot of luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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To close the blinds and bolt the door on someone who has taken a fall, does, in all honesty, bring a person down lower than the one who'd fallen. This is a very profound poem, Jay, and when I read it the first time, I wondered if the man had dementia, or something similar and was remembering a time long past. It could be taken several ways, but that is poetry, we see in it what we will. It's as personal to the reader as it is the poet. Superb writing, my friend, and I wish you lot of luck in the contest. :) Sandra xxx
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Blessings, Sandra. Thanks for digging deep. Yes, it is designed for the reader to find his own personal meaning.
Comment from johnwilson
I am not really familiar with the rules of this type of poetry; however, this poem stands alone and is quite profound in its simplicity. The window pictured is the perfect artwork for your words.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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I am not really familiar with the rules of this type of poetry; however, this poem stands alone and is quite profound in its simplicity. The window pictured is the perfect artwork for your words.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thank you, John, for reading for enjoyment and the search for connectivity with something inside you. Oh ... and for the six, LOL. That really means something to me.
Jay
Comment from Pantygynt
This is a lot deeper than one could believe it could get. Yes indeed if you look away and pass by on the other side it is you who has fallen. A very succinct cinquain that fulfills the syllabic requirements completely.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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This is a lot deeper than one could believe it could get. Yes indeed if you look away and pass by on the other side it is you who has fallen. A very succinct cinquain that fulfills the syllabic requirements completely.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Jim, whenever I see the name of a Poet's poet reviewing my poem, I almost dread reading it. I'm fully expecting him to announce to the rest of the FanStorians, "the man's a fraud!" Thank you for taking this in an unexpected area ... and for not proclaiming the other matter. LOL, Thanks, Jim. You're a gentleman.
Comment from Kingsrookviii
This is the most powerful thing that I have read in a long time. I will have to look into this format, but the poem stands alone as a very deep bit of self reflection, introspection and very personal self awareness. I love stuff like this and you are forever delivering such deep and meaningful message, Jay. If ever there was a six I couldn't wait to give someone to really thank somebody, this is it. Great work. Bruce.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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This is the most powerful thing that I have read in a long time. I will have to look into this format, but the poem stands alone as a very deep bit of self reflection, introspection and very personal self awareness. I love stuff like this and you are forever delivering such deep and meaningful message, Jay. If ever there was a six I couldn't wait to give someone to really thank somebody, this is it. Great work. Bruce.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Bruce, I am trembling so much I can hardly tap the keys. You stand up there with the previous person who's review I commented on as one I consider a "Poet's Poet. I don't want to quote myself on what I said to Jim (Pantygynt), but if you search it out you'll understand my humility. Thank you so much, Bruce. With your kind words, the six stars was superfluous. Blessings,
Jay
Comment from Dean Kuch
You're right, Jay, the photo art was a perfect complimentary addition to enhance your Cinquain.
And a well composed Cinquain poem it is, too.
This is a pretty profound poetic statement--if I am interpreting your intended meaning correctly.
All too often, people turn a blind eye to those in trouble and look the other way.
Safe, cozy and warm, while all wrapped up in their own little worlds, they simply do not want to go through the trouble of becoming involved when they could have done something to help.
When we do that--if we allow ourselves to do that--we have failed our fellow man. And just as importantly, we have failed ourselves as well.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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You're right, Jay, the photo art was a perfect complimentary addition to enhance your Cinquain.
And a well composed Cinquain poem it is, too.
This is a pretty profound poetic statement--if I am interpreting your intended meaning correctly.
All too often, people turn a blind eye to those in trouble and look the other way.
Safe, cozy and warm, while all wrapped up in their own little worlds, they simply do not want to go through the trouble of becoming involved when they could have done something to help.
When we do that--if we allow ourselves to do that--we have failed our fellow man. And just as importantly, we have failed ourselves as well.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Dean, first and foremost, if I had a thumbs up, you'd get it, my friend. So the next best thing ... I've put your name on the list of next month's recipients.
What I had envisioned when I sat down to squeeze thought and image into the architecture of the Cinquain, was of standing at an upstairs window, watching a crime in progress, witnessing the fallen victim. And you were SPOT ON in your interpretation both of the image and theme that grew out of it. Given the syllables and lines I had, I could only hint and leave the conclusion up to the readers' interpretations. Thanks for having the soul of a poet and I'm sorry you had to jump into my mind and conscience to discover the meaning. You may climb down now, before I start getting nightmares. Blessings, friend,
Jay
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Hahaha, you're more than welcome, Jay.
It's a great Cinquain with a powerful message to impart.
Best of luck.
~Dean
Comment from LIJ Red
Kitty Genovese? I have slept since I read a cinquain, and remember nothing, but knowing Jay this follows the model. And the message is modern and poignant.
Excellent entry.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Kitty Genovese? I have slept since I read a cinquain, and remember nothing, but knowing Jay this follows the model. And the message is modern and poignant.
Excellent entry.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thank you, Red ... and with no unsettling "wrinkle" effect, crawling beneath you.
Comment from Bill Schott
Somewhere inside this profound cinquain, which provides the format for this thoughtful statement, there lies the awesome truth of how we fall apart a piece at a time. A healthy habit, a righteous ritual, and a specific hope for the future drop off like dried skin until we are skeletal. We become a hollow, transparent frame of what was once potential, but is now nonessential.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Somewhere inside this profound cinquain, which provides the format for this thoughtful statement, there lies the awesome truth of how we fall apart a piece at a time. A healthy habit, a righteous ritual, and a specific hope for the future drop off like dried skin until we are skeletal. We become a hollow, transparent frame of what was once potential, but is now nonessential.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Wow! I wish I'd used your words to convey my thoughts. You know, Bill, I think I--ignorantly, I confess--came up with words and syllabication to allow my thought to be a touchpoint of ownership with a multitude of disparate readers. Thank you for the depth of your reading.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I read it three times. I'm guessing there's a lot more meaning to this poem than meets the eye. Hmmm, I do however, wish you the best of luck.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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I really enjoyed reading your contest entry. I read it three times. I'm guessing there's a lot more meaning to this poem than meets the eye. Hmmm, I do however, wish you the best of luck.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2017
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Thanks for reading it, Barbara. The interpretations, it appears, are many and varied. Thanks for the well-wishes.
