Comment from BlackVelvet

Excellent

this was cute--not too deep. just cute i could imagine it in a childrens book as it had that kinda ring when i read it aloud. great rhyme scheme. keep up the good work

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - glad you enjoyed - rhyming comes easy to me.
Steve

Comment from Mrs Happy Poet

Excellent

Yes this is very well written I liked the way the story through the poem builds up to the ending my favorite part was the house for dolls a very creative write I enjoyed good luck regards Jill

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Jill - glad you enjoyed.
Steve

Comment from strandregs

Excellent

The same rhyme A
all the way
and a story
of doubtful glory
I enjoyed it I did
when I lifted the lid
but the fat little kid
very nicely you hid
so the moral is greed
does not always lead
to the read you wanted to read.
Z.
in plain english: kids will love it.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Zelick.
And yes, rich and spoiled does not always mean bratty - mind you, we don't know how she would have behaved if someone had said 'No'.
Steve

Comment from MumEsGirl

Excellent

Lovely light hearted and fun work. The colour scheme and presentation add to this perfect contest entry.

I look forward to reviewing more of your excellent work soon.

Best of luck in the contest
hugs
kate

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Janice Canerdy

Excellent

Your poem is skillfully-written and delightful--cautionary in tone, but light-hearted and comical, rather that mean or critical.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Janice - glad you enjoyed.
Steve

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

What a great piece. The subject is right on the money and the rhymes floated down like bubbles popping on the ground. I wish you the best in the contest.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Bubbly rhymes my speciality!
Thanks.
Steve

Comment from gazzagodbod

Excellent

love this little children's poem love how she got fat on cakes and fizz great picture and colouring too thanks Kiwi steve gazzagodbod

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - I ended up envying the fat little blob!
Steve

Comment from Glasstruth

Excellent

LOL. This is also suitable for adults that like whimsical humor. The rhyming and flow moves this right along. Also the internal rhyming in "She visited Spain, caught rain on the plain" works really well. Great job! Les

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thanks, Les. I guess I write mainly for myself, so maybe I'm entering my second childhood.
Steve

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This poem is very funny I like it very much it made me laugh and the picture was cool as well good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve

Comment from Gloria ....

Excellent

Whoa now this one major pampered spoilt girl. Most well done rhythms and rhymes and I am so jealous of not only Annabel's parents opulence but of your sumptuous write here. Nice work and all the best to you in the contest. Perfect artwork to go with it too.

 Comment Written 24-Sep-2012

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reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012

Thank you - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve