Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "Love's casualty"memiors from my life experiences.
54 total reviews
Comment from anabelle
How absolutely horrendous. She must have been going through some terrible things to be forced into doing this.
Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
  |
How absolutely horrendous. She must have been going through some terrible things to be forced into doing this.
Best of luck in the contest.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
-
thanks you too
Comment from marym224
Such sadness wrapped in so few words! I know only too well how events early on in life can shape the future and I learned to use such memories as rearing stallions that would carry me into a positive life. I was lucky.
Could I take the liberty of rewriting the second para of your notes, please?
And my mother, whom I loved more than anyone could love anything, abandoned me in a foster home, never to return.
A few commas in the right places, adds to the impact.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
|
Such sadness wrapped in so few words! I know only too well how events early on in life can shape the future and I learned to use such memories as rearing stallions that would carry me into a positive life. I was lucky.
Could I take the liberty of rewriting the second para of your notes, please?
And my mother, whom I loved more than anyone could love anything, abandoned me in a foster home, never to return.
A few commas in the right places, adds to the impact.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
-
corrections made thanks
Comment from adewpearl
Your poem is in excellent naani structure and syllable form, and the use of optional rhyming is effective. You express your feelings with strong emotion that allows the reader to know how horrible this experience was for you. Good luck in the contest. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
|
Your poem is in excellent naani structure and syllable form, and the use of optional rhyming is effective. You express your feelings with strong emotion that allows the reader to know how horrible this experience was for you. Good luck in the contest. Brooke
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
-
thank you
Comment from heyjude
This is a good entry for the naani contest. It is a casualty when children feel abandoned. Your emotions came across so
clearly. Monstrous and tragic without provocation. So sorry that this happened to you. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
|
This is a good entry for the naani contest. It is a casualty when children feel abandoned. Your emotions came across so
clearly. Monstrous and tragic without provocation. So sorry that this happened to you. Good luck in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 12-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2010
-
thank you