Selfish
You can't have it all87 total reviews
Comment from TexAnn
...and the doorbell rings! Perhaps Juanita?! What is that saying again "sleep with dogs and wake up with fleas?"
No remorse in a character is always chilling. Good luck with the contest, TexAnn
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
  |
...and the doorbell rings! Perhaps Juanita?! What is that saying again "sleep with dogs and wake up with fleas?"
No remorse in a character is always chilling. Good luck with the contest, TexAnn
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
LOL...Yeah, Juanita...LOL..Good observation an didea, Ann. Thanks for your kind and generaous review. Bob
Comment from Ponder
Hi Bob,
I thought this was an excellent entry for the contest. It certainly illustrated clearly the workings of a mind turned bad by having it too easy.
It is well written and the characters of Candy and Juan are well illustrated and fleched out. I could almost picture them both.
No errors that I could see. Good luck with the competition,
Jules
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Hi Bob,
I thought this was an excellent entry for the contest. It certainly illustrated clearly the workings of a mind turned bad by having it too easy.
It is well written and the characters of Candy and Juan are well illustrated and fleched out. I could almost picture them both.
No errors that I could see. Good luck with the competition,
Jules
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Hi, Jules...Hey! Where ya been? I appreciate you taking the time with this story for me...Bob
-
Hi Bob, I'm only now catching up with all my 'old' fanstory buddies. How are you? Did you ever get that book published?
-
Hi, again...what is your real name, Ponder, if you don't mind. I forgot..Oooops. Yes, I have things in the works for my book, however I am re-writing it under "fiction-based on fact" as memoirs don't sell very good unless you are famous says myagent friend. Good to see you back...My new one by the way is called "Falling Up the Stairs" If you hurry, you can catch up before I post chapter seven...LOL...Thank you, Bob
-
HI Bob,
I certainly will catch up, I enjoyed your last one, no doubt I will enjoy reading this new one too! Jules
Comment from prophetess
Wow, Bob your vivid imagery is great. I was right there, like I was sitting in a movie theatre. I could picture everything that was going on. I had an image of ramirez, with his short, balding, sweaty head, and red hat, I pictured him wearing an expensive but very ugly grey plaid suit. I could picture the blonde buxom blonde, crossing her arms and whinning to ramirez and I could picture his rage as she taunted him. Great short Bob.
Prophetess
found plenty of strange when he was off on his frequent
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Wow, Bob your vivid imagery is great. I was right there, like I was sitting in a movie theatre. I could picture everything that was going on. I had an image of ramirez, with his short, balding, sweaty head, and red hat, I pictured him wearing an expensive but very ugly grey plaid suit. I could picture the blonde buxom blonde, crossing her arms and whinning to ramirez and I could picture his rage as she taunted him. Great short Bob.
Prophetess
found plenty of strange when he was off on his frequent
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thanks, Julie...I am so glad you liked it..I appreciate your thorough reviews as always...Bob
Comment from Diny
Wow you are in a gory mood lately!- I don't care much for blodd and guts and violence- but all in all honestly it was written well. Your discriptions painted your charachters well and some of the lines were priceless! Used women like klenex being among them. colorful to say the least- TThe doorbell ringing leaves it open for more - I liked thatWrite on-Di
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Wow you are in a gory mood lately!- I don't care much for blodd and guts and violence- but all in all honestly it was written well. Your discriptions painted your charachters well and some of the lines were priceless! Used women like klenex being among them. colorful to say the least- TThe doorbell ringing leaves it open for more - I liked thatWrite on-Di
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thank you so much, Diny...I am grateful that you got through the violence okay...What a gal....Bob
Comment from hager
I found this to be very smooth... it slid off the pages as I read it. No stumbles or rocks in the way to hinder the flow. Enjoyable it was.... regards..... hager
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
 |
I found this to be very smooth... it slid off the pages as I read it. No stumbles or rocks in the way to hinder the flow. Enjoyable it was.... regards..... hager
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Hi, stranger! How ya been? Thanks so much, bill for your confidence in my writing....Bob
Comment from Sasha
You have a marvelous and very clever way with words. I love your descriptions and they often put a smile on my face. Very well written and a great entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
You have a marvelous and very clever way with words. I love your descriptions and they often put a smile on my face. Very well written and a great entry for this contest. I sincerely wish you all the best.
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thanks so much, Val. I do sincerely appreciate your confidence in my writing very much....Bob
Comment from Mrs Jones
What a jerk. Where on earth do you find all the sayings you come up with Bobbie? Suck a golf ball through a hosepipe - LOL. Good luck in the contest with this excellent entry. A perfect write.
Cheers
Rose
xxx
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
What a jerk. Where on earth do you find all the sayings you come up with Bobbie? Suck a golf ball through a hosepipe - LOL. Good luck in the contest with this excellent entry. A perfect write.
Cheers
Rose
xxx
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thanks so much, Rose. I read a lot...I appreciate you so much....Bob
Comment from Readywriter52
Ramirez has failed to control his temper and killed Candy. Who ever is at the door will only cause more trouble. He can only blame himself for his problems caused by his arrogance.
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Ramirez has failed to control his temper and killed Candy. Who ever is at the door will only cause more trouble. He can only blame himself for his problems caused by his arrogance.
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Yes, you have it sized up well, Readywriter. Good analysis on your part...Thanks a gain, Bob
Comment from Belinda
Hi, Bob. Your title defines your story, or is it the other way around? Rich people are more often than not, selfish. Or does this trait makes them rich? Anyway, this is a typical Mastery story. Dramatic, interesting.
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Hi, Bob. Your title defines your story, or is it the other way around? Rich people are more often than not, selfish. Or does this trait makes them rich? Anyway, this is a typical Mastery story. Dramatic, interesting.
Comment Written 14-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thanks so much,Belinda... I appreciate your review...you know that....Bob
Comment from Ronni
Wow, what a raunchy and gorey one this is Bob
Metaphors like: 'body of an angel, brains of an oyster'
'Ramirez used women like kleenex'; 'she could no more be
a housekeeper than he could levitate'....describes some
truly 'selfish' characters for sure! Don' think you
misse a nuance or gesture anywhere! Great job!
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
|
Wow, what a raunchy and gorey one this is Bob
Metaphors like: 'body of an angel, brains of an oyster'
'Ramirez used women like kleenex'; 'she could no more be
a housekeeper than he could levitate'....describes some
truly 'selfish' characters for sure! Don' think you
misse a nuance or gesture anywhere! Great job!
Comment Written 13-May-2010
reply by the author on 14-May-2010
-
Thank you, Ronni. I'm almost embarrassed for you to have read this naughty piece. LOL..I do so appreciate it though. Bob
-
It's ok Bob...I read them with blinkers
and sun glasses....LOL...and survive! LOL
It's ok...I understand it is fiction...
you still are one dandy of a story writer!