Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 41 "Chapter 11; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
65 total reviews
Comment from hyway94
I guess I have to wait and see what happens. This story has a lot of twist and turns in it so when someone figures it out you change the course, Very well written and a wonderful flow of words. Thank you.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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I guess I have to wait and see what happens. This story has a lot of twist and turns in it so when someone figures it out you change the course, Very well written and a wonderful flow of words. Thank you.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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This novel has been complete for about three years. I change nothing, my family accuses me of being ADD, so maybe I am. Thank you for your kind words.
Comment from Sherelynne
I thought that that was a well written chapter. Characters were easy to follow, everything flowed smoothly for me.
That's some predicament that Leya is in, by the way. It held my suspense. I am now curious and will go back and read the rest so that I really understand the action.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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I thought that that was a well written chapter. Characters were easy to follow, everything flowed smoothly for me.
That's some predicament that Leya is in, by the way. It held my suspense. I am now curious and will go back and read the rest so that I really understand the action.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. I hope you do go back and see what brought Leya to this problem.
Comment from L.lora
Awe, perfect on all levels,
storyline, descriptions,
dialogues and especially
Steven's "jumping to conclusioins"
as is the case so often in new
relationships. Very well articulated
and moves at a nice pace. No nits
or spags. Lora
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Awe, perfect on all levels,
storyline, descriptions,
dialogues and especially
Steven's "jumping to conclusioins"
as is the case so often in new
relationships. Very well articulated
and moves at a nice pace. No nits
or spags. Lora
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
CHAI, THIS IS SO SO SAD. I BELIEVE THE POOR GIRL MEANT NO HARM. It would be very bad for this new-found love to die a premature death. This chapter is brief , but loaded. kudos
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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CHAI, THIS IS SO SO SAD. I BELIEVE THE POOR GIRL MEANT NO HARM. It would be very bad for this new-found love to die a premature death. This chapter is brief , but loaded. kudos
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind review. Wait and see what Leya does next.
Comment from lola29
Wow! What a revelation this chapter is. I fail to understand how Leya could possible love Steven after sending such a message to her father, but I'll wait for the next chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Wow! What a revelation this chapter is. I fail to understand how Leya could possible love Steven after sending such a message to her father, but I'll wait for the next chapter.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Leya is in big trouble on this one. Thank you for your review.
Comment from RebelRose
I was afraid he would jump to conclusions. Now, we're back to square one with the relationship. It will be interesting to see how this gets 'fixed'. Great chapter.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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I was afraid he would jump to conclusions. Now, we're back to square one with the relationship. It will be interesting to see how this gets 'fixed'. Great chapter.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your review. I am wondering myself if Steven will forgive Leya.
Comment from FredCollingwood
That's just what every guy wants to hear. His bride making an announcement that she's no longer a virgin. Men would naver do that. They'd just tell all their buddies in the locker room.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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That's just what every guy wants to hear. His bride making an announcement that she's no longer a virgin. Men would naver do that. They'd just tell all their buddies in the locker room.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for for your review. We will have to wait and see what happens.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written in your usual style. i am glad you posted another chapter for me. i am glad your parents are in town for the holidays and i wish you the best wishes for easter. Be blessed. Looking forward to the makeup chapter
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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this is very well written in your usual style. i am glad you posted another chapter for me. i am glad your parents are in town for the holidays and i wish you the best wishes for easter. Be blessed. Looking forward to the makeup chapter
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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The make up chapter will take awhile. Steven is angry now, but will be more hurt than angery. Peggy even makes an appearence
Comment from rama devi
Quite a dramatic ending. the dialog is well done---sounds true to life. I would sense the emotion and tension between S and L. Sorry i have not read enough chapters of this book to comment intelligently on plot and character development, but judging from this short chapter it seems fine.
two small suggestions--
*and listened,(no sure you need this comma) as Leya asked the doctor
*Steven's green eyes glared at Leya as he stood in the doorway, before he called over his shoulder, "Jim, escort the doctor to the helicopter."
Awkward sentence structure. Small suggestion--
Steven's green eyes glared at Leya as he stood in the doorway. Then he called over his shoulder, "Jim, escort the doctor to the helicopter."
I notice a tendency to use lots of commas in sentences. Sometimes it works fine but other times give a choppy flow.
A good work, nonetheless.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Quite a dramatic ending. the dialog is well done---sounds true to life. I would sense the emotion and tension between S and L. Sorry i have not read enough chapters of this book to comment intelligently on plot and character development, but judging from this short chapter it seems fine.
two small suggestions--
*and listened,(no sure you need this comma) as Leya asked the doctor
*Steven's green eyes glared at Leya as he stood in the doorway, before he called over his shoulder, "Jim, escort the doctor to the helicopter."
Awkward sentence structure. Small suggestion--
Steven's green eyes glared at Leya as he stood in the doorway. Then he called over his shoulder, "Jim, escort the doctor to the helicopter."
I notice a tendency to use lots of commas in sentences. Sometimes it works fine but other times give a choppy flow.
A good work, nonetheless.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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I will recheck my commas. Most people tell me to add them, I will wait for other reviewers. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Harrisa
Your story is very well written. This is the first chapter I have read, but it took me right into the story. The dialogue is natural and the characters feel real. I like the story too.
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Your story is very well written. This is the first chapter I have read, but it took me right into the story. The dialogue is natural and the characters feel real. I like the story too.
Comment Written 03-Apr-2010
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010
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Thank you for your kind words.