Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Chapter 7, part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
67 total reviews
Comment from fictionwriter
Another great chapter. Steven needs to acknowledge how he feels about Leya, but only when the time is right. After he gets Peggy off his butt. Great job.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Another great chapter. Steven needs to acknowledge how he feels about Leya, but only when the time is right. After he gets Peggy off his butt. Great job.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from RebelRose
I hope it is only the flu or something she can get over in a hurry. I am glad that Steven will admit he's in love with her if only to himself.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I hope it is only the flu or something she can get over in a hurry. I am glad that Steven will admit he's in love with her if only to himself.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Lily is extremely ill. Thank you for your review.
Comment from anabelle
Really good chapter. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Are we going to find out what's wrong with Leya? Or, will there be nothing wrong and it's just the emotions from the fight?
Looking forward to the next installment.
Regards, anabelle
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Really good chapter. I enjoyed it from beginning to end. Are we going to find out what's wrong with Leya? Or, will there be nothing wrong and it's just the emotions from the fight?
Looking forward to the next installment.
Regards, anabelle
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Leya definitly is very ill. Thank you for your review.
Comment from lola29
You have written Peggy's character is such a precise way that I can honestly say, I don't like her the least bit. I think Leya is a really good person, and I'm really feeling sorry for her right now.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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You have written Peggy's character is such a precise way that I can honestly say, I don't like her the least bit. I think Leya is a really good person, and I'm really feeling sorry for her right now.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from mbroyles2
I enjoyed this part.
The characters are well developed.
The pace was exceptional.
I enjoyed the tension.
I found myself easily connected to both Leya and Steven.
Thanks for sharing your work.
Michael
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I enjoyed this part.
The characters are well developed.
The pace was exceptional.
I enjoyed the tension.
I found myself easily connected to both Leya and Steven.
Thanks for sharing your work.
Michael
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from Writeaway...
I can see that you really do have a talent for writing barbara, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, you certainly left me wondering what's going to happen next, excellent job, keep writing!!
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I can see that you really do have a talent for writing barbara, I found no spags whatsoever and was kept interested from the beginning, you certainly left me wondering what's going to happen next, excellent job, keep writing!!
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your kind review and continued support.
Comment from adewpearl
As the sun peaked over the horizon - peeked
The daughter of a drug cartel lord who has a needle phobia - I love it. I also vote for Peggy as the mole. I just betcha she is the one who gave away the location. Poor Steven - he really is so in love; it must be agony to hold it back. :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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As the sun peaked over the horizon - peeked
The daughter of a drug cartel lord who has a needle phobia - I love it. I also vote for Peggy as the mole. I just betcha she is the one who gave away the location. Poor Steven - he really is so in love; it must be agony to hold it back. :-) Brooke
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I mess peaked and peeked up every time. Dang it. Thank you for the review. I always rest easier after you have reviewed me.
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You have me totally hooked on your story - I can forgive an occasional peek/peak snafu LOL
Comment from Alaskastory
Part 4, Chapter 7 moves right along. I like the action and the progress of the story.
Good action description include: 'brushed a curl of hair from her cheek' and the teasing conversation.
There are parts I'd like the speaker's name used (rather than he) so I more quickly grasp who is speaking when there are three men in the scene. You might consider dropping, 'revealed her fear'---sufficient to say, 'her body trembled' to keep from over-describing. Might want to drop 'as' from 'as hard whenever you need to'. Also, may strengthen this chapter to give the doctor a name and make the conversation easier to follow.
Good job. Fun to see the story progress.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Part 4, Chapter 7 moves right along. I like the action and the progress of the story.
Good action description include: 'brushed a curl of hair from her cheek' and the teasing conversation.
There are parts I'd like the speaker's name used (rather than he) so I more quickly grasp who is speaking when there are three men in the scene. You might consider dropping, 'revealed her fear'---sufficient to say, 'her body trembled' to keep from over-describing. Might want to drop 'as' from 'as hard whenever you need to'. Also, may strengthen this chapter to give the doctor a name and make the conversation easier to follow.
Good job. Fun to see the story progress.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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The doctor is such a minor character, there is not reason to list this name. Putting the speaker's name in too often takes the reader out of the scene. I try to use the names sparingly, again it takes the reader out of the scene. The other two suggestions I will consider. Thank you for your review.
Comment from Belinda
Ah, this is for the first time Steven admits, although to himself only, that he is in love with Leya. I think you have very well described Leya's mysterious character. This is an interesting chapter.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Ah, this is for the first time Steven admits, although to himself only, that he is in love with Leya. I think you have very well described Leya's mysterious character. This is an interesting chapter.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
You've written another fantastic chapter of "Tantalizing Eyes." The action was intense. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I'm glad Stephen admitted to himself he loved Leya in this marvelous internal dialogue:
'I'm nice to you because I'm in love with you, but there's no way I'll ever admit that to you.'
I think Peggy had something to do with the attack on the safe house. The bitch ratted her out because she's a jealous heifer. I'm going to be happy when Peggy gets what's coming to her. You did great crating a character this reader and others love to hate. This book should be published. I'd buy it. Keep up the excellent writing.
Your friend, Melissa.
PS, I just finished two more chapters on my book "Cloak of Rapture" and I hope to have one or both by midnight to post one. I also managed to write a sex scene for the book too.
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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Barbara,
You've written another fantastic chapter of "Tantalizing Eyes." The action was intense. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I'm glad Stephen admitted to himself he loved Leya in this marvelous internal dialogue:
'I'm nice to you because I'm in love with you, but there's no way I'll ever admit that to you.'
I think Peggy had something to do with the attack on the safe house. The bitch ratted her out because she's a jealous heifer. I'm going to be happy when Peggy gets what's coming to her. You did great crating a character this reader and others love to hate. This book should be published. I'd buy it. Keep up the excellent writing.
Your friend, Melissa.
PS, I just finished two more chapters on my book "Cloak of Rapture" and I hope to have one or both by midnight to post one. I also managed to write a sex scene for the book too.
Comment Written 09-Jan-2010
reply by the author on 09-Jan-2010
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I can't wait. I am glad I have about 80 pages to go before Leya and Steven make love. My scenes are so boring compared to your's. Thank you for the review.
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I'm aiming for the more risque publishers. Like Harlequin Blaze. Read one if you think I'm naughty. Some are worse.
Melissa.
