CSP: A Collection of Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "An Unexpected Smile"A collection of poetry
89 total reviews
Comment from K-Patrick
It sounds like you might be falling into that trap called LOVE. I think is the third of fourth 'very into love' poem I have read of yours. As I recall, they are all very good and this is no exception. Nicely down.
Beauty is no quality in things themselves: it exists merely in the mind which contemplates them. -- David Hume (1757)
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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It sounds like you might be falling into that trap called LOVE. I think is the third of fourth 'very into love' poem I have read of yours. As I recall, they are all very good and this is no exception. Nicely down.
Beauty is no quality in things themselves: it exists merely in the mind which contemplates them. -- David Hume (1757)
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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K-Patrick, wow....am I good! LOL! No, not in love, but I sure know what it feels like when it is found. Yes! It is a trap! Ha! Not cynical, but certainly not willing at this point. Thanks so much for your great review. :-)) Sue
Comment from Domino
Hi, Sue.
I stuttered on just one line;
'As I return your smile with my pink blush' - 'my pink' doesn't meter ta me. Maybe sub with something like 'pinkish, female or HURRIED'?
Everyrthing else is spot on. Lovely romantic sentiments, vocabulary, flow and rhyme. A pleasure ta read.
Good luck n best wishes, ray xx
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Hi, Sue.
I stuttered on just one line;
'As I return your smile with my pink blush' - 'my pink' doesn't meter ta me. Maybe sub with something like 'pinkish, female or HURRIED'?
Everyrthing else is spot on. Lovely romantic sentiments, vocabulary, flow and rhyme. A pleasure ta read.
Good luck n best wishes, ray xx
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Ahhh! Damn, Ray! I swear to you on this: every time I have my own hesitation on some small point like this and go through with it, you find it! LOL!! Awesome! You are 110% right. It is weak. Thanks. Going to go fix that now. See? What would my poetry be without cha? Thanks for the great review and help. mwwwaaaah! Sue
Comment from CHIDOZIE
There is some sort of grace to your poetry. It has what I call innocence of diction. This poem simply turned a normal personal experience into an eternal art. Please keep sharing.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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There is some sort of grace to your poetry. It has what I call innocence of diction. This poem simply turned a normal personal experience into an eternal art. Please keep sharing.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Chidozie, your compliments are so appreciated. Very encouraging. And thank you for your very kind review. With regards, Sue
Comment from chaswriter
Sue - Nice sonnet. At least I now know the difference between a sonnet and a rictameter. Life is too short to be around a jerk like that. I knew several women who stayed in abusive relationships including my mom and they stuck it out. I guess you can't help who you fall in love with. Great rhyme and rhythm but crappy subject.
Charlie
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Sue - Nice sonnet. At least I now know the difference between a sonnet and a rictameter. Life is too short to be around a jerk like that. I knew several women who stayed in abusive relationships including my mom and they stuck it out. I guess you can't help who you fall in love with. Great rhyme and rhythm but crappy subject.
Charlie
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Charlie, if a man ever hit me once, he'd see a WILD woman come out unleashed!! Whew! Nobody messes with Sue like that. But, we can get our hearts hurt in many other ways. Love's a bitch. But, we love to love, don't we? Masochists, we are! HA! Thanks so much for your great review. (sorry you had to witness this kind of crap...it's a mystery). With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from Just2Write
Romance is such a wonderful thing. It makes us live in the moment, forever exists within a smile. The mood of the whole poem came together for me in your lines:
But now your glint, a razor-sharpened sword
Has slashed through my defenses, with a hush
My memories of past, are all ignored
Now, that is living in the moment of love. Rose.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Romance is such a wonderful thing. It makes us live in the moment, forever exists within a smile. The mood of the whole poem came together for me in your lines:
But now your glint, a razor-sharpened sword
Has slashed through my defenses, with a hush
My memories of past, are all ignored
Now, that is living in the moment of love. Rose.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Rose, aren't those feelings wonderful?!! Makes us just melt. Thank you so much for your lovely review and compliments. With regards, Sue
Comment from jeslaf
I fashioned my own shield--LOVE that girl-power line :)
I guess it's ok to lose the shield if you're willingly melting it off for someone worthy! Great write, Sue. Should be a strong contender.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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I fashioned my own shield--LOVE that girl-power line :)
I guess it's ok to lose the shield if you're willingly melting it off for someone worthy! Great write, Sue. Should be a strong contender.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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...drop the shield verrrry slowwwllyyyyy....HA! Thanks so much for your great review! Always appreciated, Sue
Comment from prodigal
I liked the line "My hardened, tempered heart has taken flight". Your writing is very expressive. I think you have a natural ability. Nothing you write ever feels forced. Another job well done, Sam
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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I liked the line "My hardened, tempered heart has taken flight". Your writing is very expressive. I think you have a natural ability. Nothing you write ever feels forced. Another job well done, Sam
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Sam, thanks so much for highlighting the line you liked. Always great to see what someone likes. And thank you for your very generous review and compliments. So much appreciated, Sue
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
I am dumbfounded by this poem. Surely it is on a par with The Great Bard himself. I cannot find any fault or pick at any nits, because quite simply, there are none. This is a beautiful piece of work. You have a natural gift for poetry and I am privileged to be able to read it. Thanks.
All the best.
Kat
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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I am dumbfounded by this poem. Surely it is on a par with The Great Bard himself. I cannot find any fault or pick at any nits, because quite simply, there are none. This is a beautiful piece of work. You have a natural gift for poetry and I am privileged to be able to read it. Thanks.
All the best.
Kat
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2009
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Oh my God!! I'm red as a beet! Kat, I am so happy that you really enjoy my poems. And your compliments do make me blush sometimes. While I'm sitting right here in my own house alone! HA! Such encouragement. Thank you so much for this wonderful review. I am trying every day to learn and better my work. This kind of encouragement most certainly keeps me going. With warmest regards, Sue
Comment from fictionwriter
What a great poem. I love the message about love. I know that the walls are hard to drop but all so worth it in the end. Great job.
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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What a great poem. I love the message about love. I know that the walls are hard to drop but all so worth it in the end. Great job.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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fictionwriter, thank you for your great review. Very much appreciated, Sue
Comment from SunlitWhisper
Wow this really caught my eye. It's a beautiful display but the poem is great also.
No need for me to state much other then that as I can see it's well liked by all. Nice job with the English Sonnet
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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Wow this really caught my eye. It's a beautiful display but the poem is great also.
No need for me to state much other then that as I can see it's well liked by all. Nice job with the English Sonnet
Comment Written 18-Feb-2009
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2009
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Sunlit, I do love a sonnet. Thank you so much for your lovely review and compliments. Regards, Sue