Heart Cafted Poems - 2020
Viewing comments for Chapter 32 "Tattered But Not Done"Musings of an old man -2020
55 total reviews
Comment from Amanda Louise Davis
The line about trample makes no sense. 'Trample can.' I think you are missing a word or something somewhere. I also think the meaning of the poem is a little muddled. Are you upset about the racism or the desire not to get rid of racist landmarkks?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
   |
The line about trample makes no sense. 'Trample can.' I think you are missing a word or something somewhere. I also think the meaning of the poem is a little muddled. Are you upset about the racism or the desire not to get rid of racist landmarkks?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Amanda, I neither one! I am angry about the lawlessness, the innocent ( 0ften immigrants) people getting hurt financially when their businesses are destroyed because they are in an economic enterprise zone trying to eke out a living. I am angry about cops who kill people with misuse of force about 2% if the otherwise tremendous men and women of every color and nationality that do there very best under the worst of conditions to protect and serve. I am angry about the money machine, 24-hour news cycles that show over and over only the worst of the scenes, never the families that lives are disrupted by vandals that overtake a six-block area and police station in a major metro area where the police have been dis-empowered to protect and serve. Finally, I am angry at every politician in local, state, and federal government whose main concern is to get rich and re-elected by those who benefit the most from these radical - hide-your-head under the sand socsocial reforms that simply do not work.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Tattered But Not Done
by JLR
Hello,
Interesting poem entry for the 20 Line Poem contest. I like the syllable count, it makes it look like a diamond. Nice presentation.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
Tattered But Not Done
by JLR
Hello,
Interesting poem entry for the 20 Line Poem contest. I like the syllable count, it makes it look like a diamond. Nice presentation.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
thanks
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are strong, heartfelt, clear and creative. The author's
words brought me to tears. What is happening - I can't even keep
up with the news any more. I am glad the author is bringing this out in
the open. Thank you....
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
The author's words are strong, heartfelt, clear and creative. The author's
words brought me to tears. What is happening - I can't even keep
up with the news any more. I am glad the author is bringing this out in
the open. Thank you....
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Harmony, thanks
Comment from Ulla
Hi there, you've written a very powerful poem as it is. The world, not only America seems to become apart at it seems. Where it will end, I do not know. I liked your poem. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
Hi there, you've written a very powerful poem as it is. The world, not only America seems to become apart at it seems. Where it will end, I do not know. I liked your poem. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Ulla, wow, I can't remember when things were so unstable world-wide, ugh!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
These people who say these things are naive and stupid and do not appreciate how lucky they are to live in America and benefit from freedom to speak out and express themselves, but they should be careful with their words as they are only hurting themselves, this is a powerful write and will no doubt evoke some emotion among the readers, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
These people who say these things are naive and stupid and do not appreciate how lucky they are to live in America and benefit from freedom to speak out and express themselves, but they should be careful with their words as they are only hurting themselves, this is a powerful write and will no doubt evoke some emotion among the readers, love Dolly x
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Dolly, I hope so! Americans must wake up. These problems will not go away unless or until we start working together as one Nation under God --hearing each others hurts and fears and corralling injustice at each and every juncture.
Comment from dragonpoet
This poem shows the anger of people aren't honoring all the wars found for the way of life we have. It is sad there is so much hate still. We should learn more from history so we don't repeat mistakes.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
This poem shows the anger of people aren't honoring all the wars found for the way of life we have. It is sad there is so much hate still. We should learn more from history so we don't repeat mistakes.
Good luck in the contest
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Joan, thank you - yes we must learn from history not whitewash the facts, these problems will not go away unless or until we start working together as one Nation under God --hearing each others hurts and fears and corralling injustice at each and every juncture.
-
You're welcome, JLR. You are so right.
Joan
Comment from lyenochka
I like your presentation of the tattered flag and the gray of mourning colors. (It's a little hard to read.) Great message capturing what's going on today. I like the concept of etheree but words instead of syllables. But I found that these three lines all have 10 syllables:
"to say, "I hate America, I hate you, I hate."
"We don't want the freedom you died for. We want
to tear down everything including history; so no one can"
"whose cause's they support can trample on" (causes)
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
I like your presentation of the tattered flag and the gray of mourning colors. (It's a little hard to read.) Great message capturing what's going on today. I like the concept of etheree but words instead of syllables. But I found that these three lines all have 10 syllables:
"to say, "I hate America, I hate you, I hate."
"We don't want the freedom you died for. We want
to tear down everything including history; so no one can"
"whose cause's they support can trample on" (causes)
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Thank you,, I made the adjustment.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
This is the state of the whole world, I'm afraid. I don't know where it will end, but here in the UK, we are saying much the same as you have in your brilliant poem. Those who died for our country must look down and shake their heads. Well done, well spoken! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
This is the state of the whole world, I'm afraid. I don't know where it will end, but here in the UK, we are saying much the same as you have in your brilliant poem. Those who died for our country must look down and shake their heads. Well done, well spoken! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
Sandra, thank you! I was 13 years old, I remember his speech as though it was yesterday.
We have come so far, and have so far to yet to go, sadly our history and over 200 other countries can't erase slavery from its history and there is always going to be 1 or 2% on all sides who will never "get it" but that doesn't mean bad behavior should not be put in check!
Comment from BHWatson
This poem is poignant and risky in a time of conflict about the state of the US. However, I think it is important to be open to how all people feel about the changes in our nation. Poetry is a good place to make those sentiments heard.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
|
This poem is poignant and risky in a time of conflict about the state of the US. However, I think it is important to be open to how all people feel about the changes in our nation. Poetry is a good place to make those sentiments heard.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2020
-
BH yes I agree,
We have come so far, and have so far to yet to go, sadly our history and over 200 other countries can't erase slavery from its history and there is always going to be 1 or 2% on all sides who will never "get it" but that doesn't mean bad behavior should not be put in check!
Comment from TommyWrites
Wow.
This is spendid. But sadly true. What has our world come to? Have we forgotten what we fought, lost, and gave up, for this freedom? Have we forgotten all the men and women who die for this freedom?
"American Stand!' Yes yes yes! I like your poem, and wish you luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2020
 |
Wow.
This is spendid. But sadly true. What has our world come to? Have we forgotten what we fought, lost, and gave up, for this freedom? Have we forgotten all the men and women who die for this freedom?
"American Stand!' Yes yes yes! I like your poem, and wish you luck in the contest!
Comment Written 24-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2020
-
Thank you for your strong validation, I am ranting....so tired of our do nothing Congress and local and states officials ugh!
-
YES! And your welcome!
