A Shiver of Sharks
A 5-7-5 for the contest80 total reviews
Comment from roof35
An excellent 5-7-5 poem. Your picture pairs beautifully and echoes your words. I especially liked, "Shiver of sharks." It made me shiver as sharks are scary. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
An excellent 5-7-5 poem. Your picture pairs beautifully and echoes your words. I especially liked, "Shiver of sharks." It made me shiver as sharks are scary. Nicely done.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review. Appreciated.
Comment from Raffaelina Lowcock
You picked an excellent metaphor for the current happenings that are occurring in the U.S. A perfect picture with perfect words makes for a good presentation. Well done. :)Ralf
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
You picked an excellent metaphor for the current happenings that are occurring in the U.S. A perfect picture with perfect words makes for a good presentation. Well done. :)Ralf
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review. Appreciated.
Comment from ameen786
Every dog has its day and so why not the sharks; great metaphorically and so true today; a picture perfect presentation with superb alliteration; a winner!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
Every dog has its day and so why not the sharks; great metaphorically and so true today; a picture perfect presentation with superb alliteration; a winner!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and the sixth star, Ameen. Appreciated.
Comment from Patty Palmer
Pretty good poem! A shiver of sharks! I don't think I would want to be anywhere near where they are gathered together that way. Good luck with the contest!
Patty
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
Pretty good poem! A shiver of sharks! I don't think I would want to be anywhere near where they are gathered together that way. Good luck with the contest!
Patty
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and good luck wishes, Patty. Appreciated.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Seeing that many sharks at one time would definitely be scary, yet a magnificence sight. Thank you for sharing your contest entry with us. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
Seeing that many sharks at one time would definitely be scary, yet a magnificence sight. Thank you for sharing your contest entry with us. I wish you the best of luck with the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and good luck wishes, Barbara. Appreciated.
Comment from Shirley McLain
So sharks swim in shivers instead of schools. Your poem is excellent and even a touch scary with them going after their pound of flesh. You did a great job. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
So sharks swim in shivers instead of schools. Your poem is excellent and even a touch scary with them going after their pound of flesh. You did a great job. Have a wonderful Sunday. Shirley
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and the sixth star, Shirley. Appreciated.
Comment from Pam (respa)
-I like this artwork much better,
Tony, and it really enhances your poem.
-In other words, we weren't getting
the loan shark:)
-A well written poem with
good syllable count, imagery,
alliteration, and presentation.
-The second line is very good,
and could stand for any
number of things throughout history,
including what is going on today.
-Good use of the sharks as a
metaphor for it all.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
-I like this artwork much better,
Tony, and it really enhances your poem.
-In other words, we weren't getting
the loan shark:)
-A well written poem with
good syllable count, imagery,
alliteration, and presentation.
-The second line is very good,
and could stand for any
number of things throughout history,
including what is going on today.
-Good use of the sharks as a
metaphor for it all.
-Good luck in the contest, Tony.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2020
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Thanks for your review, Pam, and for the supportive comments. All good wishes, Tony
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You are quite welcome, Tony.
Comment from Jacob David Collins
I thought that you created a really chilling atmosphere with this piece. Your choice of words was strong and I thought they brought your writing to life. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
I thought that you created a really chilling atmosphere with this piece. Your choice of words was strong and I thought they brought your writing to life. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and good luck wishes, Jacob. Appreciated.
Comment from Mistydawn
And we're mere minnows in this pool of life. What a great way to describe all the upset in the world to day. It's very well-written, your great word choice paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind. Nicely done, good luck with your contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
And we're mere minnows in this pool of life. What a great way to describe all the upset in the world to day. It's very well-written, your great word choice paints a vivid picture in the reader's mind. Nicely done, good luck with your contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your supportive review and good luck wishes, Dawn. Appreciated.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I find this poem an ambiguous one.
I wouldn't have thought of the sharks as diving into misfortune, but rather their prey. The sharks I would imagine instead as grouping in a frenzy.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
I find this poem an ambiguous one.
I wouldn't have thought of the sharks as diving into misfortune, but rather their prey. The sharks I would imagine instead as grouping in a frenzy.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2020
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2020
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Many thanks for your review, Katherine. Appreciated. The picture was misleading. My poem was meant metaphorically for loan sharks.
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I am very dense sometimes! Think I must have been particularly tired when I read this.