Dialog for Dummies
Lessons in self-deflection43 total reviews
Comment from robyn corum
EE,
I adore writing -- hahaha -- which should be obvious, since we're all here on this writing site, right? But I am a stickler for doing the best I can every time I put pen to paper, and maybe I'm a little OCD 'cause I can go overboard sometimes. But I do love it. Love, love, LOVE!
Please allow me to be frank. I hope you won't be offended. I always try to just be honest. To share with other writers what I would like folks to share with ME - the stuff they think might help improve my writing - even if it might hurt a bit. But, like ripping off a bandaid, it might hurt for a minute, but maybe -- MAYBE (hopefully) -- it will also open your eyes to stuff one reader is seeing. Of course, you don't have to agree with everything I say -- or been ANYTHING I say, right? But, at least, in my honesty, I give you an option you might now otherwise have had.
I don't mean anything personal - this is only about the composition of this ONE PIECE. K?
Here we go:
1.) This is a dialogue contest. Although you set this post up in the manner of two individuals speaking to one another, it seems contrived. These do not come off as two real characters -- they are flat, non-dimensional beings who never come to life. They are simply 'mouths' you're using to convey thoughts on writing skills and in this case, on writing dialogue specifically.
I think you could probably make this work, but you would have to put more 'heart' into these characters, give them some flesh and blood.
Other notes:
1.) DAN: Well, you'd better wait, Liz(! I)t was my idea!
2.) JOE: Oh...all right...I'll let you write the story.
--> that's all cool, but they weren't really discussing the story/post-writing, they were contemplating leaving bad reviews.
3.) JOE: Oh...all right...I'll let you write the story.
--> when an ellipsis falls in the middle of a phrase, please leave a space on either side
4.) OE: Well...OK...since you apologized...
--> spell out 'okay' in prose, please
5.) and no one will accuse you of laziness or illiteracy.
--> ABSOLUTELY incorrect -- and you are sharing this with a lot of people who may believe you. No, no.
6.) Dont dare screw up or your done for--you cant blame you're characters for there error's--their all your's.
--> this sentence is driving me nuts. *smile* And I do not get the message. You're saying the point is about apostrophes, but yours errors are all over the board, and not just apostrophe related. What gives?
IMO, (which really counts for nothing and I know it) this post needs a bit of work. I've offered several thoughts -- which you are absolutely welcome to chuck into the nearest waste basket -- but I hope you'll actually consider them.
Writing dialogue is VERY difficult and very important. Giving your characters VOICE helps them to pop up off the page and go walking about in your readers' heads. It is an amazing talent.
But the rules for writing dialogue are the same as for writing anything else. You must be diligent and careful. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's even much harder - to help the reader know when to pause or add inflection or hear the accents or whatever. PLEASE don't try to teach folks that writing dialogue is easier than writing prose in general. That is simply not true.
Thanks a bunch and much good luck to you. Please do let me know if you decide to edit. Have a great day!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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EE,
I adore writing -- hahaha -- which should be obvious, since we're all here on this writing site, right? But I am a stickler for doing the best I can every time I put pen to paper, and maybe I'm a little OCD 'cause I can go overboard sometimes. But I do love it. Love, love, LOVE!
Please allow me to be frank. I hope you won't be offended. I always try to just be honest. To share with other writers what I would like folks to share with ME - the stuff they think might help improve my writing - even if it might hurt a bit. But, like ripping off a bandaid, it might hurt for a minute, but maybe -- MAYBE (hopefully) -- it will also open your eyes to stuff one reader is seeing. Of course, you don't have to agree with everything I say -- or been ANYTHING I say, right? But, at least, in my honesty, I give you an option you might now otherwise have had.
I don't mean anything personal - this is only about the composition of this ONE PIECE. K?
Here we go:
1.) This is a dialogue contest. Although you set this post up in the manner of two individuals speaking to one another, it seems contrived. These do not come off as two real characters -- they are flat, non-dimensional beings who never come to life. They are simply 'mouths' you're using to convey thoughts on writing skills and in this case, on writing dialogue specifically.
I think you could probably make this work, but you would have to put more 'heart' into these characters, give them some flesh and blood.
Other notes:
1.) DAN: Well, you'd better wait, Liz(! I)t was my idea!
2.) JOE: Oh...all right...I'll let you write the story.
--> that's all cool, but they weren't really discussing the story/post-writing, they were contemplating leaving bad reviews.
3.) JOE: Oh...all right...I'll let you write the story.
--> when an ellipsis falls in the middle of a phrase, please leave a space on either side
4.) OE: Well...OK...since you apologized...
--> spell out 'okay' in prose, please
5.) and no one will accuse you of laziness or illiteracy.
--> ABSOLUTELY incorrect -- and you are sharing this with a lot of people who may believe you. No, no.
6.) Dont dare screw up or your done for--you cant blame you're characters for there error's--their all your's.
--> this sentence is driving me nuts. *smile* And I do not get the message. You're saying the point is about apostrophes, but yours errors are all over the board, and not just apostrophe related. What gives?
IMO, (which really counts for nothing and I know it) this post needs a bit of work. I've offered several thoughts -- which you are absolutely welcome to chuck into the nearest waste basket -- but I hope you'll actually consider them.
Writing dialogue is VERY difficult and very important. Giving your characters VOICE helps them to pop up off the page and go walking about in your readers' heads. It is an amazing talent.
But the rules for writing dialogue are the same as for writing anything else. You must be diligent and careful. As a matter of fact, sometimes it's even much harder - to help the reader know when to pause or add inflection or hear the accents or whatever. PLEASE don't try to teach folks that writing dialogue is easier than writing prose in general. That is simply not true.
Thanks a bunch and much good luck to you. Please do let me know if you decide to edit. Have a great day!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Robyn--Thank you for such a thoughtful review. I appreciate the painstaking efforts on my behalf and respect you for being respectful to me throughout the critique. You raise an indisputable point--dialog is NOT for dummies; I can certainly understand why you find this piece off-putting. I mean to speak tongue-in-cheek by casting myself as a pretentious blowhard, who, shielding herself beneath an assumed name, condescends to give "advice." I intend this to be facetious; the characters and their dialog are indeed contrived in order to parody the "instructor" and to avail myself of the opportunity to toss some satire on our star system into the mix. Speaking of which I assure you that though Dan or Joe would avenge a 3-star review--for that matter, even a 4-star review--I will take the high road. I will simply hang myself from the nearest tree and let that be on your head! Cheers. LIZ
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hahahahaha PLEASE don't do that. We are not allowed to get out because of the stay-at-home order and I'll get arrested while I'm out searching the countryside trying to find the right tree to cut you down!!!
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In the meantime, some notes at the bottom would help...?
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Good idea! The text of my response is now in the footnotes--punchline included!
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Not to worry--I've decided to slit my wrists instead.
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ACK!
WAIT!!!!
I've got to go grab some towels! Then I'll come find you IMMEDIATELY!
But it may take a minute...
I. Don't. Want. To. Use.
The. GOOD. Towels.
hehehe
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Aaaaah I chickened out!
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Whew
Comment from Marjon van Bruggen
Liz, (or Joe?) may I laugh first and then comment?
Chuckles, laughing, more chuckles; imagine the sounds.
Ok, that done, let me tell you that this is one of the most funny conversations I have heard for a long time. And with so much recognised truth in it! Thanks a lot!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Liz, (or Joe?) may I laugh first and then comment?
Chuckles, laughing, more chuckles; imagine the sounds.
Ok, that done, let me tell you that this is one of the most funny conversations I have heard for a long time. And with so much recognised truth in it! Thanks a lot!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Marjorie. I'm relieved that this came across as I intended. I thoroughly enjoyed the writing! I welcome the sounds of your laughter. Cheers. LIZ
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Still laughing.
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You made my day!
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That pleases me!
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
OMG, this is such a delight to read. It is also very true. It's like reviewing--when wring a review, often grammatical correctness is bypassed It is more stream of conciousness writing. Best wishes in the contest, my friend. I think you have a winner here~Debbie
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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OMG, this is such a delight to read. It is also very true. It's like reviewing--when wring a review, often grammatical correctness is bypassed It is more stream of conciousness writing. Best wishes in the contest, my friend. I think you have a winner here~Debbie
Comment Written 13-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2020
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Thank you, Debbie. I'm relieved that this came across as I intended. I reveled in the process of creation and took advantage of the opportunity to indulge in star-smashing. Speaking of which, I appreciate the bonus--it counterbalances a three-star review, for which I extended my pledge not to wreak revenge. (Can't speak for Joe and Dan though!) Cheers. LIZ
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I don't give bad reviews the satisfaction of letting reviewers know how I feel. I just figure they don't understand writing and they will either learn or find something else to do. I just thank them and look at reviews from writers and poets I respect~Debbie
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Thanks for your words of support. Not every reviewer likes every piece and I'm OK with that, so long as they're respectful--meaning, they avoid the words THIS SUCKS!
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Or statements like "There is no reason for this poem to even exist"--that is my favorite review of a Christmas poem I wrote. Take care, my friend~Debbie
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I got a five-star review from a fan who lauded my writing per se, then went on to say basically what your reviewer said to you. Go figure.
