Comment from meeshu

Excellent

not doomed, but it will take a lot of effort from both sides. Cyndy and I adhere to the Communist Manifesto in our marriage. the worst way to govern, but essential to long relationships. thought-provoking in a short poem, well done, Susan.................meeshu

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 29-Jun-2020

What!, a Communist Manifesto? Personally, I would invoke God in my marriage rather than an ideology. But of course I respect your methodology, I have no right to intrude your personal space. Thanks for the five stars.God bless.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

This little poem has a lot to say. People do know when a relationship is failing, and they know when it's no longer possible to save it. It's best to call it a day and finish amicably, rather than carrying on. Well done, and good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot Sandra for the five-star review. God bless.

Comment from Mastery

Excellent

Hi, Suze. A great 5-7-5. It is crowded with emotion and created for thinking long and hard. I like those kind. Good luck to you in the contest. You deserve to won, my friend. Bob

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot Bob for the five-star review. I have been away for about four years, I guess.

Comment from robyn corum

Good

N, (4)

I must tell you this poem puzzled me - though it did make me do a lot of thinking to try to work out its meaning. The description - with love jumping out the window, and the image, which, frankly, looks like two people who ended up doing prison time -- haha -- added to my thought processes.

lukewarm thoughts of love
his goodbye kiss forgotten
two dreams lay unborn

Was the love always lukewarm? And the love couldn't have meant too much if she's already forgotten his kisses, right?

And the closing line really, really confuses me - that the dreams lie UNBORN. At this point, it would seem that the dreams have DIED. But if they have not even been born, then I have to assume that this relationship never was a 'love' type relationship to begin with. Does that make sense?

I'm not sure I'm being clear. But, to me, this poem needs some editing for clarity. I don't mean to offend. Thanks and good luck!


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 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for the perceptive review. God bless.

Comment from Janet Foor

Excellent

Very good 5/7/5 poem for the contest.
Great picture for the poem.
Love needs to be nurtured or it withers. Lukewarm love doesn't stand a chance.

Well done.

Blessings
Janet

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for the five-star review Janet. God bless.

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I admired your succinct 5-7-5 about lost love. Your alliteration of "l's" intensified the message and the picture you selected reinforced it. Best wishes in the competition- Joan

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for the intelligent five-star review. God bless you more Joan

Comment from fm wright

Excellent

Such sadness and such detail in so few words. It truly reflects the circumstances. It certainly fits the criteria. It follows through in thought and has complete sentences. A wonderfully written piece. I wish you the best with this entry!

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for considering this a wonderfully written piece. God bless.

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

Love never stands at its own, it has to show and practice; it is never a show, fake show or pleading never wins, love is realizable; lovers know what love is; well said, well done. Keep Writing -- DR ALCREATOR

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for the five-star review Dr, Alcreator.

Comment from zlp22

Excellent

Not all love lasts. Good poem and picture that says alot. Word flow.makes it an easy read. Good luck in the contest. I have always liked to read a short poem that says more than a.long one.

 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot for the five-star review. I appreciate it. God bless.

Comment from Sugarray77

Excellent

This is an excellent entry for the 5-7-5 Poetry prompt. You can see the neglect and lack of concern in both your verse and the fine photo you chose to go with it. Good luck in the contest.

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 Comment Written 10-Dec-2018

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reply by the author on 17-Nov-2022

Thanks a lot, sugarray77 for the five-star review. God bless.