This Time - That Time 2
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Veronica Has a Shock!"Veronica is sent back again
41 total reviews
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
Hi (*<*)
= I love, love dialect.
= After Tom lived in England for sixteen years, when he moved back to the states, he had quit the English accent. Even now, after 25 years of being home, he still pronounces some words as if he were England. I LIKE!
= I've missed reading your stories. Glad to back.
> Change period to comma.
unsure of himself[.] (,) "but what year is it where you come from?"
> Not a dialogue tag.
(Yours)-- fifty years in the future, he gasped. "What's it like?"
(Suggest) -- fifty years in the future. He gasped. "What's it like?"
Cheers ... Jax (*<*)
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reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017
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Hi (*<*)
= I love, love dialect.
= After Tom lived in England for sixteen years, when he moved back to the states, he had quit the English accent. Even now, after 25 years of being home, he still pronounces some words as if he were England. I LIKE!
= I've missed reading your stories. Glad to back.
> Change period to comma.
unsure of himself[.] (,) "but what year is it where you come from?"
> Not a dialogue tag.
(Yours)-- fifty years in the future, he gasped. "What's it like?"
(Suggest) -- fifty years in the future. He gasped. "What's it like?"
Cheers ... Jax (*<*)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2017
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2017
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It's lovely to see you back again, Jackie, I just hope you are feeling loads better now. Thank you for your lovely review, my friend, and your help. I'll go and sort those out! Big hugs!! Sandra xxx