Hope
Little life lesson82 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
"Hope only works when you give it away is a line that makes the whole poem. What could be better than focusing on someone else in need and trying to help them when you yourself are hurting? I like your encouragement to do something rather than sitting around feeling dejected. Excellent advice. You work well with your rhyme, although the rhythm seems a bit off is places. Best of luck in the contest. Excellent thoughts on the subject of hope. judi
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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"Hope only works when you give it away is a line that makes the whole poem. What could be better than focusing on someone else in need and trying to help them when you yourself are hurting? I like your encouragement to do something rather than sitting around feeling dejected. Excellent advice. You work well with your rhyme, although the rhythm seems a bit off is places. Best of luck in the contest. Excellent thoughts on the subject of hope. judi
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thanks for the encouraging words
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You're very welcome. judi
Comment from VaV-VOOM
Great poem. I have to say I really liked this read, makes you think, and I think I liked the forth stanza best of all; Very well said! Write On! VaV-VOOM!
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Great poem. I have to say I really liked this read, makes you think, and I think I liked the forth stanza best of all; Very well said! Write On! VaV-VOOM!
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you
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Your so welcome, VaV-VOOM!
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Your so welcome, VaV-VOOM!
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Hope is a very good thing to have when you don't have hope you are hopeless and that is when you go sit and give up. When you filled with hope you will help others without expecting anything in return.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Hope is a very good thing to have when you don't have hope you are hopeless and that is when you go sit and give up. When you filled with hope you will help others without expecting anything in return.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thanks for the review
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
Well done - spot on 24 lines. Very well written with some good advice. Good aabb rhyme with abab in your final stanza. I particularly like -
Wishful thinking is just fine when we're young
Santa may come when the stockings are hung
But when life makes demands of a more serious sort
It's action that works while blind hope falls quite short
Very good. I wish you well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Well done - spot on 24 lines. Very well written with some good advice. Good aabb rhyme with abab in your final stanza. I particularly like -
Wishful thinking is just fine when we're young
Santa may come when the stockings are hung
But when life makes demands of a more serious sort
It's action that works while blind hope falls quite short
Very good. I wish you well in the contest. Warm regards Dorothy
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you much
Comment from dragonpoet
This is a rather negative view of hope and faith. Faith is what pushes some to feed the poor or do other things for the less fortunate. Because this type of action is the basis of most faiths. Hope keeps some people strength to live another day. Hope does need to be acted upon though. When a woman gets pregnant, she hopes to have a healthy baby. So she eats well and follows doctor's orders.
The rhymes are unforced and the poem flows well.
Good luck in the contest and keep writing.
dragonpoet
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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This is a rather negative view of hope and faith. Faith is what pushes some to feed the poor or do other things for the less fortunate. Because this type of action is the basis of most faiths. Hope keeps some people strength to live another day. Hope does need to be acted upon though. When a woman gets pregnant, she hopes to have a healthy baby. So she eats well and follows doctor's orders.
The rhymes are unforced and the poem flows well.
Good luck in the contest and keep writing.
dragonpoet
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Semantics are indeed wriggly
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You're welcome. Everyone is entitled to their side of things.
dragonpoet
Comment from Bill O'Bier
Bravo!! I so enjoyed this poem and it is a great contest entry. I think you did an outstanding job with this piece. These are words to live by. One stanza truly resonates with me at this time:
Wishful thinking is just fine when we're young
Santa may come when the stockings are hung
But when life makes demands of a more serious sort
It's action that works while blind hope falls quite short
Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you all the best-
Bill
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Bravo!! I so enjoyed this poem and it is a great contest entry. I think you did an outstanding job with this piece. These are words to live by. One stanza truly resonates with me at this time:
Wishful thinking is just fine when we're young
Santa may come when the stockings are hung
But when life makes demands of a more serious sort
It's action that works while blind hope falls quite short
Good luck in the contest.
Wishing you all the best-
Bill
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you very much for the kind words...
Comment from William Ross
very good and nicely written great rhyming and rhythm a great entry on the prompt. good luck on this and have a great day
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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very good and nicely written great rhyming and rhythm a great entry on the prompt. good luck on this and have a great day
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thanks much...John
Comment from Ekim777
Our poet is full of homespun wisdom which he/she delivers with aplomb; romping through his lines with gusto. The only phrase that caught my attention was the poet's passing reference to beauty. As for hope and faith; there are differences. Faith comes alive when we move into the active mode. And even faith may be delusional! Actually we live under many laws but the more aware that we are, the more we are in control.-Ekim777
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Our poet is full of homespun wisdom which he/she delivers with aplomb; romping through his lines with gusto. The only phrase that caught my attention was the poet's passing reference to beauty. As for hope and faith; there are differences. Faith comes alive when we move into the active mode. And even faith may be delusional! Actually we live under many laws but the more aware that we are, the more we are in control.-Ekim777
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Great observations...John
Comment from Pantygynt
I am absolutely at one with the sentiments expressed in this poem. I also admire the effort you have made to put thgis into a poetic form (anapest) that is not commonly seen on this site. But once you adopt a particular meter for your poem it is important to the shape of things that you are consistent. You obviously have a feel for words and the fun you can have with them but , particularly in the second stanza you have allowed the natural stresses of words to cut across the meter, or perhaps the other way around. This is a poem with tremendous potential that has not quite been realised.
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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I am absolutely at one with the sentiments expressed in this poem. I also admire the effort you have made to put thgis into a poetic form (anapest) that is not commonly seen on this site. But once you adopt a particular meter for your poem it is important to the shape of things that you are consistent. You obviously have a feel for words and the fun you can have with them but , particularly in the second stanza you have allowed the natural stresses of words to cut across the meter, or perhaps the other way around. This is a poem with tremendous potential that has not quite been realised.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thanks for the input and guidance...John
Comment from Word Junkie
Hello Poet,
This is what I like about your poem: You seem to want to convey a positive message, that hope and/or faith without action is a waste of time and emotional energy, and of no help to anyone.
What doesn't work for me is this: The rhyme scheme seems awkward and at points rhyme seems contrived. Several lines, to me, are nonsensical--such as lines two, three and four of the fourth stanza.
When I think about the destruction following an earthquake, such as those recently experienced in Japan, it seems that hope--first and foremost--is the emotion which drives people to continue digging through the rubble when they are so exhausted they can barely stand. They can't know if they'll find anyone alive, but hope drives them on, just as it did in New York City on 9-11.
I was confused by the end of the poem. You seem to say that giving a homeless person a meal is giving them hope, which is what they need. This makes no sense to me, as the homeless person does nothing to earn the meal--they merely accept charity, so isn't any hope given to them also futile? This was just very confusing to me.
Your third stanza is spot-on. If I had written this, I would consider using that as my first stanza.
I wonder if you could strengthen the central message of this poem by repeating it more often: Hope and faith, sans action, accomplish nothing.
Remember--this is one opinion. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking and original creation.
Good luck in the contest,
Lana
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reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Hello Poet,
This is what I like about your poem: You seem to want to convey a positive message, that hope and/or faith without action is a waste of time and emotional energy, and of no help to anyone.
What doesn't work for me is this: The rhyme scheme seems awkward and at points rhyme seems contrived. Several lines, to me, are nonsensical--such as lines two, three and four of the fourth stanza.
When I think about the destruction following an earthquake, such as those recently experienced in Japan, it seems that hope--first and foremost--is the emotion which drives people to continue digging through the rubble when they are so exhausted they can barely stand. They can't know if they'll find anyone alive, but hope drives them on, just as it did in New York City on 9-11.
I was confused by the end of the poem. You seem to say that giving a homeless person a meal is giving them hope, which is what they need. This makes no sense to me, as the homeless person does nothing to earn the meal--they merely accept charity, so isn't any hope given to them also futile? This was just very confusing to me.
Your third stanza is spot-on. If I had written this, I would consider using that as my first stanza.
I wonder if you could strengthen the central message of this poem by repeating it more often: Hope and faith, sans action, accomplish nothing.
Remember--this is one opinion. Thanks for sharing this thought-provoking and original creation.
Good luck in the contest,
Lana
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 21-Apr-2016
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Thank you much