Cut and Run, Part Two
A Salon Vivant mystery48 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
This is great. You're doing a great job with this. The characters are going along great, and we really get to know Nikki and her expectations for her shop. Jeanine seems to be in on Deirdre's problem of calling in sick, especially when the weather is nice. Justin sounds desirably available, and I love your description of Nikki's reaction to him. I get a sense that some strange things will be discovered when renovation is underway. As Justin warns her, be prepared for anything. Then there's Deirdre's reaction to being fired to take into consideration. She may not go down without a fight. judi
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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This is great. You're doing a great job with this. The characters are going along great, and we really get to know Nikki and her expectations for her shop. Jeanine seems to be in on Deirdre's problem of calling in sick, especially when the weather is nice. Justin sounds desirably available, and I love your description of Nikki's reaction to him. I get a sense that some strange things will be discovered when renovation is underway. As Justin warns her, be prepared for anything. Then there's Deirdre's reaction to being fired to take into consideration. She may not go down without a fight. judi
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hi, Judi. Thanks for your great review! I'm happy you're enjoying my story. As I'm sure you know, there's always lots of drama going on in hair salons. I didn't want to this be another Steel Magnolias as that was done so well. Thus, the romance angle and, of course, the paranormal LoL.
I really appreciate your encouragement and generosity, Judi.
:) Bev
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Hi, Bev. I am truly enjoying this, and don't see it as being like "Steel Magnolias." The characters are quite different. We did a community theatre production of "Steel Magnolias," and I so much wanted to play Weezer but got the part of Claree instead! judi
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Thanks for your kind words of support, Judi. Those characters are truly unforgettable.
:) Bev
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You're so welcome. I can hardly wait to see what develops. judi
Comment from CHIGYSISKI
Captivating read.Excellently written. Natural dialogue from believable characters. Nice story plot and beautiful accompanying artwork..I can't wait to read other posts. Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Captivating read.Excellently written. Natural dialogue from believable characters. Nice story plot and beautiful accompanying artwork..I can't wait to read other posts. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much for this very encouraging review, C. I appreciate your generosity and support. :) Bev
Comment from Ric Myworld
Thanks for another well written part of your story that puts us readers to thinking, and wondering what we could learn if the walls could talk in these old places. Great job. :-)
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thanks for another well written part of your story that puts us readers to thinking, and wondering what we could learn if the walls could talk in these old places. Great job. :-)
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thank YOU, Ric. I really appreciate your generous review and encouraging words. :) Bev
Comment from Jay Squires
And, now the mystery begins to burrow into the burgeoning romance: Ghosts? Buried bodies? Add to that the problem with Diedre, you'll have a lot of readers tuning into your next installment.
Couple of observations and considerations:
day at the Beach. [Don't think you need to cap "Beach"]
into my mind.. She joined my [Extra period after "mind"]
her strength to ream out knots that would flummox a sailor. [Love the use of "knots" with "flumox" and "sailor" -- especially "flumox" which I don't use nearly enough.]
and Deidre hangout together, ["hangout" shouldn't be combined.]
blow off work today? [Not actually a question, though I can see how you arrived at it.]
I like the perky dialogue between Nikki and Jeanette: terse, lean.
are suffering from the growing phenomenon of irresponsibilititis." [IRRESPONSIBILITIES >>Seems like you invented a word with a decided Egyptian sound to it.]
[[ Oh, I GET IT! Never mind the above!]]
I can see the hairs raise up on my arms. [hairs RISE up >> to raise requires an object: to Raise your hand, to raise the age limit.]
Excellent chapter, Bev. See you next time!
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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And, now the mystery begins to burrow into the burgeoning romance: Ghosts? Buried bodies? Add to that the problem with Diedre, you'll have a lot of readers tuning into your next installment.
Couple of observations and considerations:
day at the Beach. [Don't think you need to cap "Beach"]
into my mind.. She joined my [Extra period after "mind"]
her strength to ream out knots that would flummox a sailor. [Love the use of "knots" with "flumox" and "sailor" -- especially "flumox" which I don't use nearly enough.]
and Deidre hangout together, ["hangout" shouldn't be combined.]
blow off work today? [Not actually a question, though I can see how you arrived at it.]
I like the perky dialogue between Nikki and Jeanette: terse, lean.
are suffering from the growing phenomenon of irresponsibilititis." [IRRESPONSIBILITIES >>Seems like you invented a word with a decided Egyptian sound to it.]
[[ Oh, I GET IT! Never mind the above!]]
I can see the hairs raise up on my arms. [hairs RISE up >> to raise requires an object: to Raise your hand, to raise the age limit.]
Excellent chapter, Bev. See you next time!
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hi, Jay. Thanks for the generous and helpful review! I appreciate your support very much.
:) Bev
Comment from Nosha17
This is a really enjoyable story with strong story line. The characters are sympathetic and well drawn and you have captured the essence of the workings of a business very well. Good dialogue and it read very well. Faye
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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This is a really enjoyable story with strong story line. The characters are sympathetic and well drawn and you have captured the essence of the workings of a business very well. Good dialogue and it read very well. Faye
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Faye, thank you very much for this grand review. I appreciate you taking time to read. :) Bev
Comment from amahra
Wow, the idea of Murder Inc ghosts floating around a salon is priceless. I really like this story and enjoyed the dialogue which was very realistic. Adored the art work. It's very beautiful. I hope you keep it with every chapter.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Wow, the idea of Murder Inc ghosts floating around a salon is priceless. I really like this story and enjoyed the dialogue which was very realistic. Adored the art work. It's very beautiful. I hope you keep it with every chapter.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hi, Amahra. I do plan to keep the artwork consistent this time. I think it's a good cue for the reader. Thanks for the thumbs up on both the story and dialogue. Appreciate it much! Bev
Comment from Neonewman
Great piece you have well-crafted for the folks on fanstory to read. I found myself completely submersed in this story and it reminds me of the ever on going drama at my work place. God Bless!
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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Great piece you have well-crafted for the folks on fanstory to read. I found myself completely submersed in this story and it reminds me of the ever on going drama at my work place. God Bless!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thank you so much for your great review, Neo. Unfortunately, the situation with Deidre is quite rampant in the industry.
I really appreciate you taking time to read and review.
:) Bev
Comment from royowen
Excellent write, there no doubt about it, having run a business myself, the most gut wrenching this when an employee robs you, or leaves you in the lurch, leaving you to explain to client why you're letting them down which destroys your reputation, well done, I wonder how she will evade Justin, or discover bodies or worse ghosts, well written, I enjoyed it! Blessings, Roy.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Excellent write, there no doubt about it, having run a business myself, the most gut wrenching this when an employee robs you, or leaves you in the lurch, leaving you to explain to client why you're letting them down which destroys your reputation, well done, I wonder how she will evade Justin, or discover bodies or worse ghosts, well written, I enjoyed it! Blessings, Roy.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Hi, Roy. It's impossible for people to run businesses these without spending a lot of time there. The days when you could delegate, I believe, are a thing of the past.
Thanks so much for your generous and encouraging review.
Warm regards, Bev
Comment from gypsycaravan
Your story is delightful and the conflict of employer/employee is well described and interesting as the romantic attraction the employer has for the architect. So many directions for this story--mystery, murder, paranormal, romance. It has it all. Your descriptive talents are excellent and dialogue exceptional. I can hardly wait for the next edition. Thanks so much for posting.
There are so many great lines in this story, I don't know where to begin. These are a couple powerful ones.
1. "The benefit of working decades for other people was learning the best approach to drive the engine of my own success.
2. "There's no term limits on learning curves."
A couple typos:
1. "That been pointed out to me.--'that' should be 'that's'
2. There's bodies that have never been found, Nikki.--bodies is plural--should be 'There are bodies' instead of 'There's bodies'
Exceptional piece of work.
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Your story is delightful and the conflict of employer/employee is well described and interesting as the romantic attraction the employer has for the architect. So many directions for this story--mystery, murder, paranormal, romance. It has it all. Your descriptive talents are excellent and dialogue exceptional. I can hardly wait for the next edition. Thanks so much for posting.
There are so many great lines in this story, I don't know where to begin. These are a couple powerful ones.
1. "The benefit of working decades for other people was learning the best approach to drive the engine of my own success.
2. "There's no term limits on learning curves."
A couple typos:
1. "That been pointed out to me.--'that' should be 'that's'
2. There's bodies that have never been found, Nikki.--bodies is plural--should be 'There are bodies' instead of 'There's bodies'
Exceptional piece of work.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2014
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Thanks so much, gypsy. I'm so glad you caught those spaggies! I sure appreciate both your help and your support. Much appreciated!
Warm regards, Bev