Reviews from

Sex and Candy

Flash Fiction

51 total reviews 
Comment from pfwelder
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Very well written. I was hooked from start to finish. I would have liked it if you had written more about how she managed to get him tied up but I assume you were at your limit of max 800 words. I guess it's best to leave a little mystery. You should do well in the contest. You definitely have my vote.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    I'm glad you lived. Thank you.
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

a dramatic, attention-grabbing intro
non-discrimantory life ruiner
discriminatory
you convey the narrator's thoughts well
good use of natural-sounding dialogue
a dramatic reveal as we realize what is going on and what these people are to each other
definitely a good entry in a revenge contest
Brooke

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Brooke. Thanks tremendously for the great review.
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

this is an excellent write, mystery writer, you did an excellent job writing this story about the woman who killed the one who took her virginity. I enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Excellent. Thank you for taking the time.
Comment from GeraldS
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I like the plot. The story progresses nicely until the conclusion. The end seems a bit sketchy to me. It would benefit from being fleshed out a bit. Maybe the problem was the word limitation. Just my take on the piece. Nonetheless it's a good story, and I think a good entry for this contest.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Gerald thanks. I may flesh it our more in the future.
Comment from mfowler
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Very well told.
Deeply disturbing characters drawn hauntingly through revelation and action.
Excellent cadence in the disclosure of the motive and means.
Powerful language tinged with a good balance of expletive and emotional tension.
Perfect entry for this theme.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Deeply disturbing. Sounds good to me. Thank you.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent! She got her revenge in just the right way. Do unto others what they did to you... a bit of a different slant, but it works well here. :)

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Excellent. Thank you tremendously for taking the time on this and for the excellent review.
Comment from Michaelk
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent story! That was not at all where I thought that was going. Fantastic twist. She seemed like she was out to get laid. Even right up to the end that's what I was still thinking. You definitely did a great job of setting up the story and setting up your character for revenge.
Great work.

 Comment Written 04-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    I'm glad you liked the twist. Thank you for the compliments and the review.
Comment from Nomar Chagrin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Whoa, this really crept up on me. Awesome internal dialogue all the way through was effective in building up the tension. Almost made my skin crawl in the end.

One little thing. I think you need stronger punctuation after "story" here:

"...powerful story," I say, "Cammie,..."

Anyway, this should be a definite contender for the contest. I was drawn in through the entire story.

~ Jack

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Jack. Thank you. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Erik McGinley
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

When I read stories like this I wonder if it's sex or memory or just a hatred of men.

When I was about 22 there was a girl I was with. My memory, not very clear on it to be honest, hear's someone saying, "For god's sake, Erik, she's only fourteen."

If she was she didn't look it and didn't say it. I fucked her because I liked her. That's my raison d'etre. I won't sleep with someone unless there is an active liking and attraction in me.

Do women sometimes hate guys for liking them? The way my life has gone it's hard not to think that's true.

If I was a different person I would hate women. Stories like this sometimes make me wonder if I should.

That said, it's an excellent story. I hope I never engender that sort of hate in someone. At least, not without having reason to hate their guts first and having given them that back.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Thank you Erik. It is much appreciated.
Comment from Dawn Munro
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Wow - I didn't see that coming at all! Well-plotted, a strong narrative voice and great pacing - I'd say this meets the criteria of the contest and exceeds it. I didn't notice anything needing an edit, either, except possibly that first paragraph, and I'm not even sure I'm right. (Suggest you see what other reviewers say too.) I'm thinking it could be divided into two paragraphs, just for clarity's sae, since I was a bit confused when the speaker wasn't the narrator. ?? Great story though! Good luck.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 03-Sep-2014


reply by the author on 09-Sep-2014
    Thank you for the excellent review. It it's much appreciated.
reply by Dawn Munro on 09-Sep-2014
    You're very welcome.