Shepherd
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "He"poems inspired by Psalm 23
49 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
This is really beautifully done! Yes, on the surface, it is about God's
pain and anguish, to watch his Son cry out "How could you abandon me",
but it is so much more than that. It addresess how every parent who has
lost a child (or everyone who has ever lost a loved one) also lives through
that same agony.
You have used the flipped line form (whatever that's called - LOL) wonderfully :-)
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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This is really beautifully done! Yes, on the surface, it is about God's
pain and anguish, to watch his Son cry out "How could you abandon me",
but it is so much more than that. It addresess how every parent who has
lost a child (or everyone who has ever lost a loved one) also lives through
that same agony.
You have used the flipped line form (whatever that's called - LOL) wonderfully :-)
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you for such an encouraging review, Leineco. I appreciate you insights on the theme. Losing a loved one or watching them through a struggle can be anguishing. It was my first swap quatrain so I appreciate the kind comments about the writing. Debi
Comment from kiwijenny
This is awesome. I need edit today and every day....oops word correct...I needed it ... :o)
It rends the heart when loved ones grieve.
No, I am sure He did not leave.
He watched with love and wept apart.
When loved ones grieve, it rends the heart.
This is my favorite verse...
Well done
God bless
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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This is awesome. I need edit today and every day....oops word correct...I needed it ... :o)
It rends the heart when loved ones grieve.
No, I am sure He did not leave.
He watched with love and wept apart.
When loved ones grieve, it rends the heart.
This is my favorite verse...
Well done
God bless
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the wonderful review, kiwijenny. Thank you for pointing out what you liked. I appreciate the encouragement and I am so happy you liked it. Debi
Comment from Patti R.
This is absolutely lovely!
I will look into the Swap Quatrain. Your aabb... rhyme scheme lends to the beat and rhythm when reading the poem aloud.
Funny, I've often wondered how God must have felt at that moment. Perhaps millions of parents have had these same thoughts.
Excellent.
Patti
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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This is absolutely lovely!
I will look into the Swap Quatrain. Your aabb... rhyme scheme lends to the beat and rhythm when reading the poem aloud.
Funny, I've often wondered how God must have felt at that moment. Perhaps millions of parents have had these same thoughts.
Excellent.
Patti
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the excellent review, Patti. I appreciate the kind words about the writing and your insights on the topic. Thank you for the encouragement. Debi
Comment from Dianemae
Excellent writing. He never leaves us. Even when we think He has, He is always there. It is nice to share a poem that bring the Bible into our daily lives. We sometimes just get too caught up in things.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Excellent writing. He never leaves us. Even when we think He has, He is always there. It is nice to share a poem that bring the Bible into our daily lives. We sometimes just get too caught up in things.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the great review, Dianemae. I appreciate your insights on the subject and your kind comments about the writing. Debi
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This is so beautiful and It deserves a six but I have given all mine away. A very outstanding poem with so much feeling.
First I have heard of the swap quatrain but you did a very good job. Well done! Nancy
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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This is so beautiful and It deserves a six but I have given all mine away. A very outstanding poem with so much feeling.
First I have heard of the swap quatrain but you did a very good job. Well done! Nancy
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the kind comments and the virtual six, Nancy. I appreciate the encouragement. I hadn't heard of a swap quatrain either until I noticed adewpearl had written several lately so I gave it a whirl. Debi
Comment from Ben Colder
A moment to remember, the birth of salvation. Grieving pain as a woman gives life. Father is always there and hears every word. Blessings to you for this great poem.
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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A moment to remember, the birth of salvation. Grieving pain as a woman gives life. Father is always there and hears every word. Blessings to you for this great poem.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you for you kind comments and encouragement. I appreciate the insights you share as well. Debi
Comment from Nosha17
Effective poem with well chosen rhyming and words. The repetition that comes with the style of the poem makes spiritual message more effective. Enjoyable read. Faye
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Effective poem with well chosen rhyming and words. The repetition that comes with the style of the poem makes spiritual message more effective. Enjoyable read. Faye
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2014
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Thank you, Faye. I am happy to hear you enjoyed reading this poem. I appreciate the kind comments about the writing. I appreciate the encouragement. Debi
Comment from tfawcus
You have selected a compelling subject for a swap quatrain and it works beautifully. Your swap lines are well chosen to work equally well both ways and much enhanced by your skilful use of enjambment. This is an interesting POV on one of the most heart-wrenching passages from the Bible and your interpretation really brings it to life and into sharp focus.
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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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You have selected a compelling subject for a swap quatrain and it works beautifully. Your swap lines are well chosen to work equally well both ways and much enhanced by your skilful use of enjambment. This is an interesting POV on one of the most heart-wrenching passages from the Bible and your interpretation really brings it to life and into sharp focus.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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Thank you for the encouraging review, tfawcus. This is my first swap quatrain so it means a lot to hear that it turned out okay. I am happy you liked it. Debi
Comment from Dawny53
I have recently started loosing my faith, your words are tearing at my heart and may just bring it back. I'm sure that's probably the biggest thing missing in my life
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reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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I have recently started loosing my faith, your words are tearing at my heart and may just bring it back. I'm sure that's probably the biggest thing missing in my life
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2014
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2014
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If this verse helped in any way then I am truly grateful. May you find the comfort you need to lead you where you need to go, Dawny. God bless.