Comment from tedanytime

Excellent

You have quite a story here.
Boy finds dog, dog becomes friend.
Dog comforts boy.
Do not know what happens here, who went to heaven? Seemed a switch in the narrative. Perhaps the father lost a son? Not sure but there seems to be some mystery.

Some happiness at the end that the dog was comfort to another.

 Comment Written 24-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013

Leo died and now is comforting other little boys in heaven. Thanks for an excellent review. I think I may take those last two verses out.

reply by tedanytime on 24-Mar-2013

My ramblings do not mean you have to change. At times my mind does not connect.

Comment from Gert sherwood

Excellent

Alvin I felt so happy all dring the first part of your story poem (Thank you foryour notes)
until I came to your pathos closure,
so sad to read
I wish you the very best in this contest.

Gert

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 Comment Written 24-Mar-2013

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reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013

Why is the ending sad? Leo had to die (nothing lives forever) and now he is comforting another little boy in heaven. Should I drop the last two verses? Thanks for an excellent review.

reply by Gert sherwood on 24-Mar-2013

Hi Alvin why I thought the ending was sad I got the impression the boy died-
Read what you wrote--

In heaven now there is a boy who died.
His earthly life cut far too short too young
And by a dog his tears are wiped and dried.
Without me, Leo's kindness is still sung...

Gert

reply by the author on 24-Mar-2013

Yes, another boy (not me, obviously) did die too young--it happens. However, now in Heaven, he has Leo to comfort him. (Leo died, as well.)

reply by Gert sherwood on 24-Mar-2013

Okay I belive I understnd now.
It's up to you Alvin if you want to leave the last two lines or delete them/

Gert