All Those Puzzling Pieces
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Dancing With Your Shadow"What makes a life? How do the pieces fit?
84 total reviews
Comment from Starlit Ink
This is a happy poem to read aloud. Who is happier and more carefree than a child. The poem allows the reader to feel the joy of childhood again. There is also beautiful imagery of the sea. I can see why this was a hit. It is a nice escape to read it!
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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This is a happy poem to read aloud. Who is happier and more carefree than a child. The poem allows the reader to feel the joy of childhood again. There is also beautiful imagery of the sea. I can see why this was a hit. It is a nice escape to read it!
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Thank you so Starlit! :) Sharyn
Comment from Gungalo
Hey hey hey, congratulations for your win on this one girl. It was really happy and the use of the little guy in this one made it perfect.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Hey hey hey, congratulations for your win on this one girl. It was really happy and the use of the little guy in this one made it perfect.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx Gungalo - actually based on a moment with my first son, probably about 35 years ago!! But some images we never forget, right? :) S
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Smile.
Comment from Ekim777
The Buddhists tell us that happiness begins when sorrow ends but that does not apply to the happiness of children. This can be defined as innocence. Can innocence define happiness? I enjoy your images even as you skim on a whim and I like the sculptured slimness of your poem. It shapes your images with telling effect.-Ekim777
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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The Buddhists tell us that happiness begins when sorrow ends but that does not apply to the happiness of children. This can be defined as innocence. Can innocence define happiness? I enjoy your images even as you skim on a whim and I like the sculptured slimness of your poem. It shapes your images with telling effect.-Ekim777
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thank you so much, Ekim! :) Sharyn
Comment from nomi338
As I sit looking out my window at the rain washed street, your wonderful, sunny, breezy poem made me feel all warm, fuzzy and Summery all over again. Even though the calendar says that it is early December, your poem says it is mid July, the sun is shining down, the day is warm so go out and have some fun. Thank you very much for warming my day and my heart.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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As I sit looking out my window at the rain washed street, your wonderful, sunny, breezy poem made me feel all warm, fuzzy and Summery all over again. Even though the calendar says that it is early December, your poem says it is mid July, the sun is shining down, the day is warm so go out and have some fun. Thank you very much for warming my day and my heart.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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my pleasure, nomi! :) Sharyn
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hey, Sharyn - congrats on the win - well-deserved I would say.
I enjoy the way you play with the sounds of words - a little different from my more orthodox end rhymes but I think I can learn from this - whims/skims whorls/curls etc.
Super piece.
Steve
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Hey, Sharyn - congrats on the win - well-deserved I would say.
I enjoy the way you play with the sounds of words - a little different from my more orthodox end rhymes but I think I can learn from this - whims/skims whorls/curls etc.
Super piece.
Steve
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx so much Steve - words are fun, aren't they? I think I play with them courtesy of rap + Gerard Manley Hopkins, with a little D.H. Lawrence thrown in ... bless you for your delightful '6' dear! :) Sharyn
Comment from Tina McKala
singing
in
the
spiral
of
the
leaves // that is such a beautiful picture :)
you did a great job as always, I`d love to have your enthusiasm and life energy ;))
I love the structure of this poem, making me read it fast in the beginning, then slow down and pay special attention to every word.
Great job! And congrats! :)
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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singing
in
the
spiral
of
the
leaves // that is such a beautiful picture :)
you did a great job as always, I`d love to have your enthusiasm and life energy ;))
I love the structure of this poem, making me read it fast in the beginning, then slow down and pay special attention to every word.
Great job! And congrats! :)
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Thx so much for "tuning in" to this piece, Tina! :) Sharyn
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your minimalist style in this free verse and joyful, accompanying picture. Your echoing sounds in the opening stanza are wonderful, along with your use of alliteration throughout the poem. Congratulations on your well-deserved win. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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I enjoyed your minimalist style in this free verse and joyful, accompanying picture. Your echoing sounds in the opening stanza are wonderful, along with your use of alliteration throughout the poem. Congratulations on your well-deserved win. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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thx so much, Joan! :) Sharyn
Comment from elliejean
I love the ocean. I love the picture. A child's glee with the water and sand is a special view. It is like we share their joy too. Great work.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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I love the ocean. I love the picture. A child's glee with the water and sand is a special view. It is like we share their joy too. Great work.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Bless you, elliejean ... sometimes things come a little later than expected, hmm?
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello author a real nice free verse poem about happiness the part of the poem I was so impressed with is-
happy clapping,
humming in ecstasy
your small perfect body
entranced
dancing
with
your
shadow
surrounded
by the wind
Gert
PS I just wonder if there is a way you can delete the extra space between some of your lines?
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Hello author a real nice free verse poem about happiness the part of the poem I was so impressed with is-
happy clapping,
humming in ecstasy
your small perfect body
entranced
dancing
with
your
shadow
surrounded
by the wind
Gert
PS I just wonder if there is a way you can delete the extra space between some of your lines?
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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I'll take another look at the spacing, Gert ... I usually do that to indicate a longer pause in the reading ... :) Sharyn
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Smiles
Gert
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SEE WHAT YOU THINK, GERT - JUST FOR YOU, DEAR! :) SHARYN
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What ever you did, I like it the way it reads now.
Smiles and congurlations 1st prize.
Gert
Comment from GWHARGIS
What a lovely poem. You made this reader feel like I was there, that I was a part of the memory. Nice job on that. The flow and style of the poem were great. I enjoyed it very much. Good luck and you have my vote.
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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What a lovely poem. You made this reader feel like I was there, that I was a part of the memory. Nice job on that. The flow and style of the poem were great. I enjoyed it very much. Good luck and you have my vote.
Comment Written 03-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 03-Dec-2012
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Bless you, GW!!! I won! yeah! I'm so glad you danced on the beach with us and double blessings for your magic '6'!
Best wishes
Sharyn