Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Annabel"A collection of my children's poems
93 total reviews
Comment from cinnamongirl
what a cute nonsensical book this would make - I would love to see the illustrations for this one! Reminds me of Willy Wonka or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which I happened to like more. Loved it!
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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what a cute nonsensical book this would make - I would love to see the illustrations for this one! Reminds me of Willy Wonka or Charlie and the Chocolate Factory which I happened to like more. Loved it!
Comment Written 25-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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Thank you - yes, that was the kind of flavour I was aiming for - alas, no happy ending for Annabel in the contest.
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I've had that same experience with some of the contests. I just go for my personal best. I'm glad that not everyone thinks alike it would be boring. Keep writing.
Comment from OLA THOMAS
A fine and nice entry you have in this. I like the style and can make an easy read for the category it is intended. The vocabulary is well controlled but I don't think the rhyming is too perfect.
ola thomas
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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A fine and nice entry you have in this. I like the style and can make an easy read for the category it is intended. The vocabulary is well controlled but I don't think the rhyming is too perfect.
ola thomas
Comment Written 25-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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Thank you
Comment from Dawn Munro
What a thoroughly charming and delightful poem you have penned! I am enamored of spoiled and pampered Annabel and her lovely, rich and gooey diet! ;0)
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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What a thoroughly charming and delightful poem you have penned! I am enamored of spoiled and pampered Annabel and her lovely, rich and gooey diet! ;0)
Comment Written 25-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 25-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Dawn.
I deliberately chose not to make my spoilt kid a brat and let her have a happy, spoilt life - just me wanting to be different I guess...
Steve
Comment from Gungalo
LOL this one is funny and reminds one to watch what they eat or end up like Annabelle. Cute story Steve and a riot with this:
Annabel said that she wanted to fly
so they bought her a plane and she flew.
She visited Spain, caught rain on the plain.
~ I do wish I could have gone too.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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LOL this one is funny and reminds one to watch what they eat or end up like Annabelle. Cute story Steve and a riot with this:
Annabel said that she wanted to fly
so they bought her a plane and she flew.
She visited Spain, caught rain on the plain.
~ I do wish I could have gone too.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Wouldn't mind being 'alarmingly fat' if I could have her long, pampered life!
Steve
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LOL smiling.
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Gorgeous funny kids' poem, STEVE. You've got a real racy rhythm going which helps it along in the reading. Oooh...a lake of red fizz! lol Giddy
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Gorgeous funny kids' poem, STEVE. You've got a real racy rhythm going which helps it along in the reading. Oooh...a lake of red fizz! lol Giddy
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thanks, Giddy. Someone had to ask what I meant by red fizz - maybe it's not universal...
Steve
Comment from EMB
Well, yes, she is indeed spoiled (spoilt), but she isn't a brat about it. I'd say this little one is the best of he bunch, by far. With this wonderful poem, you remind us that just because a child is spoiled, she doesn't have to be a terror because of it.
Nice work.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Well, yes, she is indeed spoiled (spoilt), but she isn't a brat about it. I'd say this little one is the best of he bunch, by far. With this wonderful poem, you remind us that just because a child is spoiled, she doesn't have to be a terror because of it.
Nice work.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Edward - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
And yes, it did cross my mind that most of the other entries were giving a moral lesson - I just tried to entertain.
Steve
Comment from Cindy Warren
I can't imagine how she lived on that stuff! Your poem made me laugh. I can imagine all the animals running around with some poor butler to clean up after them.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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I can't imagine how she lived on that stuff! Your poem made me laugh. I can imagine all the animals running around with some poor butler to clean up after them.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you.
Hey, I could have put in a verse about the butler and servants, but we were restricted to 24 lines....
Steve
Comment from marilyo
Loved your poem. The rhyming pattern created a cadence that made one line flow to the next. Seems like your poem could well be the story of so many young celebrities who are so self indulgent that their lives are now destroyed.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Loved your poem. The rhyming pattern created a cadence that made one line flow to the next. Seems like your poem could well be the story of so many young celebrities who are so self indulgent that their lives are now destroyed.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Yup, it would be hard to have everything and not be a bit of a brat - some can manage it, however, like Annabel.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
This is delightful. I always enjoy your
cleverly worded poems.
Kids would love this playful piece as well.
Great rhymes and rhythm and fun images.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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This is delightful. I always enjoy your
cleverly worded poems.
Kids would love this playful piece as well.
Great rhymes and rhythm and fun images.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Nancy - contest is done and dusted with no glory for Annabel, unfortunately - but then she did get all the cake!
Steve
Comment from sunnilicious
Ohhh my goodness... I love all the pink. Miss Annabel can have all the toys in the world but not to teach a child eating limits made her a grown up chunk-a-roo. A rolls royce should know about ballet, tennis and gym memberships. You are a complete riot. Nicely written. Excellent work!
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Ohhh my goodness... I love all the pink. Miss Annabel can have all the toys in the world but not to teach a child eating limits made her a grown up chunk-a-roo. A rolls royce should know about ballet, tennis and gym memberships. You are a complete riot. Nicely written. Excellent work!
Comment Written 24-Sep-2012
reply by the author on 27-Sep-2012
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Thank you, Sunni - yes she wad a bit of a character - fat but happy and not a tantrum in sight!
Steve
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Happiness wins. You're welcome. Have lovely evening.