Squirrelly
A squirrell enjoys Thanksgiving with best friends.60 total reviews
Comment from JW
Interesting story. But it was sad that he lost his tail. Yet,despite adversity, friendship was maintained and a lesson was learned. Thanks for sharing this.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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Interesting story. But it was sad that he lost his tail. Yet,despite adversity, friendship was maintained and a lesson was learned. Thanks for sharing this.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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Sad, I know. But we saw him across town a few days ago, so he has adapted well. Thank you for the stars.
Comment from Laraslife
AWWWWW
THAT is soo ooo cute!! I really don't know how to rate this but a very good story!! You should make this into a "children's" story book and publish it!!!
Just an idea!
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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AWWWWW
THAT is soo ooo cute!! I really don't know how to rate this but a very good story!! You should make this into a "children's" story book and publish it!!!
Just an idea!
Comment Written 26-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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Thank you thank you thank you!!!
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LOL you are welcome and you deserve a cute pat on your back from the "inner child" in me!! lol
Comment from marcellawachtel
Adorable story. Really? Lost his tail when a truck ran over it? And the rest of him could just get up and run? Amazing. I read this story to a child, and the commenrs above were h is, except that he thought a cake like that one would taste pretty good, if you leave out the dried corn.
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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Adorable story. Really? Lost his tail when a truck ran over it? And the rest of him could just get up and run? Amazing. I read this story to a child, and the commenrs above were h is, except that he thought a cake like that one would taste pretty good, if you leave out the dried corn.
Comment Written 26-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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I guess you have to be a squirrel to like dried corn unless you try Corn Nuts. And yes, it is true. Squirrelly is still doing well after two years.
Comment from Realist101
Good job! How precious this is. Squirrels are the cutest of all the rodents! Actually, well, guinea pigs are cute too. Great inner thoughts of this little guy. ") Best to you in the contest too! ") Susan
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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Good job! How precious this is. Squirrels are the cutest of all the rodents! Actually, well, guinea pigs are cute too. Great inner thoughts of this little guy. ") Best to you in the contest too! ") Susan
Comment Written 26-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 26-Dec-2010
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thank you for the stars and nice comments.
Comment from L.lora
What a nice story,
well thought out and
presented. Your discriptions
are good and I like your
little squirrel's POV.
This would be a great story
and lesson for a children's
book. good luck with your contest.
One typo="This is when (is=delete) I blink, stuff more treats into my cheeks,"
Lora
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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What a nice story,
well thought out and
presented. Your discriptions
are good and I like your
little squirrel's POV.
This would be a great story
and lesson for a children's
book. good luck with your contest.
One typo="This is when (is=delete) I blink, stuff more treats into my cheeks,"
Lora
Comment Written 25-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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thank you for the stars and tip. I will check it out.
Comment from c_lucas
Friendship should not depend on just physical features. The is beauty inside as well as out side. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Friendship should not depend on just physical features. The is beauty inside as well as out side. This is very well written. Good luck in your contest.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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thanks, I appreciate your comment and the stars.
Comment from Aislinge
Very cute! We have squirrels in the trees outside our living room windows, and they are great fun to watch. Poor Squirrely without his tail to keep him warm over the winter.
The only real nit I have is the wide swing of the POV. Though the story is told by Squirrely, he seems omniscient when he knows what the girls are thinking. In a longer piece, that might be more invisible, but it stands out here. Consider adjusting so if the story is told by Squirrely, we as readers only know what Squirrely knows. This can be done by having Squirrely notice odd or different smells from the house, or observe the family raking leaves or hearing them talk about a turkey or watching them carry a dead wild turkey into the house. The readers really don't need to know the girls' discussion about the cake. If Squirrely makes note of the girls squealing and rushing to his tree to leave something--maybe that's what distracts him enough for him to lose his tail.
Write on!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Very cute! We have squirrels in the trees outside our living room windows, and they are great fun to watch. Poor Squirrely without his tail to keep him warm over the winter.
The only real nit I have is the wide swing of the POV. Though the story is told by Squirrely, he seems omniscient when he knows what the girls are thinking. In a longer piece, that might be more invisible, but it stands out here. Consider adjusting so if the story is told by Squirrely, we as readers only know what Squirrely knows. This can be done by having Squirrely notice odd or different smells from the house, or observe the family raking leaves or hearing them talk about a turkey or watching them carry a dead wild turkey into the house. The readers really don't need to know the girls' discussion about the cake. If Squirrely makes note of the girls squealing and rushing to his tree to leave something--maybe that's what distracts him enough for him to lose his tail.
Write on!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Those are all great points to keep in mind. Thank you so much for the tips and review.
Comment from popoet
A great story...from the animal's viewpoint. You described the topic well, building more interest as the story moved along. It was enjoyable to read. Very whimsical feel to the story.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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A great story...from the animal's viewpoint. You described the topic well, building more interest as the story moved along. It was enjoyable to read. Very whimsical feel to the story.
Comment Written 25-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Thank you for the stars and great review.
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You are very welcome....keep writing and I will keep reading!
Comment from Trybuck
That was a very close-call for Squirrelly, better his beautiful tail than his money making head. I don't know of any squirrels around here that can write.
Very well done, Buck
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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That was a very close-call for Squirrelly, better his beautiful tail than his money making head. I don't know of any squirrels around here that can write.
Very well done, Buck
Comment Written 25-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Thanks for the stars. We just saw Squirrelly again on Thursday. We haven't seen him for awhile, but the threee girls got a chicken who eats the treats. He (Squirrelly) moved over the main highway to the other side of town. EASY TO RECOGNIZE HIM WITHOUT THAT TAIL.
Comment from Nanashirley
This is a great story. I think that the squirrel is very lucky. I see no need for editing. I always like to see the word count but that is me. Good luck.
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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This is a great story. I think that the squirrel is very lucky. I see no need for editing. I always like to see the word count but that is me. Good luck.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2010
reply by the author on 25-Dec-2010
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Thanks for the stars and the word count is a good idea.
