Give A Gift Of Sweetness ... Aigner
Defined, decadent and delicious!61 total reviews
Comment from Valkarie
Where the hell can I get my hands on a box of these delicious chocolates eh man? This is great it flows well is descriptive and has a good balance of wording that flows well. A most creative piece where your word flow so eloquently(CHOCOLATES?
Your descriptions leave the reader in great suspense because we don't know where the hell to get our hands on a box of these. One good piece of writing.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Where the hell can I get my hands on a box of these delicious chocolates eh man? This is great it flows well is descriptive and has a good balance of wording that flows well. A most creative piece where your word flow so eloquently(CHOCOLATES?
Your descriptions leave the reader in great suspense because we don't know where the hell to get our hands on a box of these. One good piece of writing.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks you. I suppose they will tell you if they choose this one. Their site has all on it so I decided they were looking for the fresh new sell of an old product that is always today. Thanks you.
Comment from sibhus
What a tantalizing bit of writing. It has a truly delicious feel to it, that temps the senses and sets the taste buds a quiver. Outstanding job wrapping all the qualities of Aigner's in one little box.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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What a tantalizing bit of writing. It has a truly delicious feel to it, that temps the senses and sets the taste buds a quiver. Outstanding job wrapping all the qualities of Aigner's in one little box.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks Sibhus!!! It's all in the packaging isn't it? MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
Comment from missy98writer
Gungalo,
girl sign me up for some chocolates. I'm a card carrying member of Chocoholics anonymous. Your romance script or advertisement is excellent. Your descriptions are decadent. I love boxed chocolates. Yummy, but I gave all my candy to the trick-or-treaters last night. I do have some peanut brittle dipped in chocolate. You entry should do well in the contest. I wish you good luck. Peace out. . .Melissa!
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Gungalo,
girl sign me up for some chocolates. I'm a card carrying member of Chocoholics anonymous. Your romance script or advertisement is excellent. Your descriptions are decadent. I love boxed chocolates. Yummy, but I gave all my candy to the trick-or-treaters last night. I do have some peanut brittle dipped in chocolate. You entry should do well in the contest. I wish you good luck. Peace out. . .Melissa!
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks so much Missy. I just say it the way I feel it. Seems you do too. Love your review!!!
Comment from chita
You have a good flow with your writing and you are descriptive-you made me want a piece of the chocolate the way you described the smell and how it effected the sense--great job.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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You have a good flow with your writing and you are descriptive-you made me want a piece of the chocolate the way you described the smell and how it effected the sense--great job.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Sigh thanks girl. I can almost smell it too. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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You made me hungry:))
Comment from redrider6612
This was pretty good. Lots of feel-good phrasing and positive advertising talk. I feel it falls short in conveying any of the details the company provided in the contest guidelines, which I think they want included.
Suggestions:
From the forested hills of [queens], comes decadent chocolate delight from Aigner!--"Queens" is in NY and I'm not sure there are any "forested hills" there; IMO the exclamation point is a bit over the top
adorned with the knowing of what is not just good ... but great.--this didn't make sense
Taste tempting and [taunting](;) our Aigner recipes--not sure that "taunting" is the precise word here; change semicolon to comma
Satisfaction for the palate and the senses of love.--doesn't make sense
Overall, the piece is sprightly and sweet. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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This was pretty good. Lots of feel-good phrasing and positive advertising talk. I feel it falls short in conveying any of the details the company provided in the contest guidelines, which I think they want included.
Suggestions:
From the forested hills of [queens], comes decadent chocolate delight from Aigner!--"Queens" is in NY and I'm not sure there are any "forested hills" there; IMO the exclamation point is a bit over the top
adorned with the knowing of what is not just good ... but great.--this didn't make sense
Taste tempting and [taunting](;) our Aigner recipes--not sure that "taunting" is the precise word here; change semicolon to comma
Satisfaction for the palate and the senses of love.--doesn't make sense
Overall, the piece is sprightly and sweet. Best wishes in the contest.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks so much for the time spent here. Guess we each have our own idea of what they are looking for. Don't think it is a repeat of what they already have at all. Think they want fresh and new. Well we shall see, eh? Again, thanks so very much.
Comment from Sharon Lee
All this in a chocolate, wrap up a box for me now :) Although I don't need much encouragement to eat chocolates, nope, none at all. Not to bad.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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All this in a chocolate, wrap up a box for me now :) Although I don't need much encouragement to eat chocolates, nope, none at all. Not to bad.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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LOL well here then. LOL eat some now. Thanks you.
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Don't temp me so early in the morning.
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Oh yeah, forgot where you live. I'll hold it til later. LOL.
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:) you best do that.
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LOL okay okay. I'm holding it for later. You come a knockin' and I'll give ya some. LOL.
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I bet it will be all gone when I get back, always happens. lol
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Nah I hid a whole box for ya. All you'll have to do is guess where I hid it. LOL.
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It's in the the top right hand kitchen cupboard.
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Noooooooo, too easy. Guess agin.
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lol Then it's in draw that overflows when you open it, crammed in snug and tight.
Comment from babylonia
this is definitely an excellent contender for the prize. made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. chocolate chocolate everywhere, and none for me to eat. LOL great job.
good luck~
love,
barbara
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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this is definitely an excellent contender for the prize. made me smile. easy to read and follow. no spaggies. imagery is excellent. chocolate chocolate everywhere, and none for me to eat. LOL great job.
good luck~
love,
barbara
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks you. I promise to save ya some for sure. MUAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
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LMAO i hope so. i always need chocolate. :P
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LOL, well stash some away for desperate times. hehehehe.
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i do and then that time of the month arrives and poof~ no chocolate. LOL
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LOL yer planning is all off. Hehehe.
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LOL yes it is. i need a better plan.
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I know, I know ... you need to be on an automatic delivery plan. LOL. Faithfully every month around the right time you'll hear FedEx at the front door delivering your chocoloate. LOL.
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now i hadn't thought of that one. that is the perfect plan. :P
cool idea. thank you.
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LOL see what working together comes up with!!!
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LOL it comes with awesome work~
Comment from Aplgwest
I don't I've heard of Aigner chocolate but your ad makes me want to seek out a box. I noticed another reviewer who thought that Queens should be capitalized. That was my first impression too, especially since there is a locale in Queens called Forest Hills.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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I don't I've heard of Aigner chocolate but your ad makes me want to seek out a box. I noticed another reviewer who thought that Queens should be capitalized. That was my first impression too, especially since there is a locale in Queens called Forest Hills.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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It's a play on words, not the name of the place. Forested hills of queens. Royalty ya see. Thanks so much you.
Comment from psalmist
Oh excellent. Makes me want to go right out and by a box. I love the inclusion of royalty, giving the impression this is a treat fit for a king! In your usual style, you have intrigued the senses with your wonderful words. Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Oh excellent. Makes me want to go right out and by a box. I love the inclusion of royalty, giving the impression this is a treat fit for a king! In your usual style, you have intrigued the senses with your wonderful words. Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Thanks so very much. A new effort on my part and enjoyed it very much. You make me blush!!!
Comment from keimosobie
this is a good contest entry. Not sure how it is a script. Sounds like good choclate. good for Halloween. I guess choclate does make people smile.
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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this is a good contest entry. Not sure how it is a script. Sounds like good choclate. good for Halloween. I guess choclate does make people smile.
Comment Written 31-Oct-2010
reply by the author on 31-Oct-2010
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Didn't know what to call it. LOL. It's an advertisement for shure. Thanks so much you!!!
