Little Billy
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "The Devils Seed"memiors from my life experiences.
116 total reviews
Comment from janeae
You don't need me to tell you that this poem is good. FS has already told you that, but I want you to know that you touched me. Thank you for writing. jane
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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You don't need me to tell you that this poem is good. FS has already told you that, but I want you to know that you touched me. Thank you for writing. jane
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Rdfrdmom2
keimosobie:
I suspect we've all submitted to
one form of temptation or the other --
lust is lust whether it is for human
flesh, money, material possessions, food,
work, or whatever drives us
this is excellent
I look forward to reading more of your
work soon
love,
jan
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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keimosobie:
I suspect we've all submitted to
one form of temptation or the other --
lust is lust whether it is for human
flesh, money, material possessions, food,
work, or whatever drives us
this is excellent
I look forward to reading more of your
work soon
love,
jan
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Arkine
I think there are far more people that suffer from the affects of temptation then would care to admit it. Some people can withstand it, others can't. I think a lot of it depends on the situation the person currently finds themselves in that determines how much strength to resist they will have. Nicely done! :)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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I think there are far more people that suffer from the affects of temptation then would care to admit it. Some people can withstand it, others can't. I think a lot of it depends on the situation the person currently finds themselves in that determines how much strength to resist they will have. Nicely done! :)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Valkarie
This is a really good piece, I think we all submit to temptation at times in our life. Your piece has a good flow is concise and the balance is well done. You express yourself well in this poem which I think the words are quite eloquently put. Your descriptions are done very well and are carried off to the latter making this a most creative piece of poetry.
Valkarie...
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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This is a really good piece, I think we all submit to temptation at times in our life. Your piece has a good flow is concise and the balance is well done. You express yourself well in this poem which I think the words are quite eloquently put. Your descriptions are done very well and are carried off to the latter making this a most creative piece of poetry.
Valkarie...
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from EdwardVal
A very powerful and truthful statement. The world is full of this all one needs to do is open their eye's and there are a million examples to find. I enjoyed this read and thought it was well written. Take care
Edward Val
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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A very powerful and truthful statement. The world is full of this all one needs to do is open their eye's and there are a million examples to find. I enjoyed this read and thought it was well written. Take care
Edward Val
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from Kanyo, Master of Pi
Fantastic expressive piece. The structure works well, and I like the emphasis placed on "Moses" and "Devil" by being the only capitalized words and their placement in the most expressive couplets, adding emphatically to the idea more than simply the words used to express it.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Fantastic expressive piece. The structure works well, and I like the emphasis placed on "Moses" and "Devil" by being the only capitalized words and their placement in the most expressive couplets, adding emphatically to the idea more than simply the words used to express it.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from jclark
Perfect contest entry. Reference to the ultimate temptation is truly emphasized in your dramatic and vivid writing. Nicely done.
Judy
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Perfect contest entry. Reference to the ultimate temptation is truly emphasized in your dramatic and vivid writing. Nicely done.
Judy
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from DecrepitOldBag
Nice write. I'm always giving in to temptation myself so I can relate to this well. No suggestions for improvement. Good flow, deep meaning, well expressed.
Warm wishes
Kat
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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Nice write. I'm always giving in to temptation myself so I can relate to this well. No suggestions for improvement. Good flow, deep meaning, well expressed.
Warm wishes
Kat
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thank you
Comment from LumchuckHickle
An accomplished poem that investigates in vivid poetic language some emotional human turmoil. The last couplet is a masterpiece. It truly condenses the theme and stamps it down hard and beautifully in just a few words. The diction and the rhythm of the poem, both a little bumpy, a little edgy, work synergistically with the theme. The poem is successful on every level.
The only thing I had a little difficulty with is the line with the question mark. At first I thought it was a mistake, then it came clear that you truly mean that as a question. I don't suggest there is a significant problem there, actually, but there is something a bit awkward in that question mark...at least to my reading. I'm not sure how you might "fix" that though (if it needs fixing at all...not my call...entirely up to you). I worked through some alternatives in my head, but none of them seem better, so I won't even reveal or suggest them. But you might take another look at it. Food for thought.
Again, truly an accomplished poem. Thank you for posting it.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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An accomplished poem that investigates in vivid poetic language some emotional human turmoil. The last couplet is a masterpiece. It truly condenses the theme and stamps it down hard and beautifully in just a few words. The diction and the rhythm of the poem, both a little bumpy, a little edgy, work synergistically with the theme. The poem is successful on every level.
The only thing I had a little difficulty with is the line with the question mark. At first I thought it was a mistake, then it came clear that you truly mean that as a question. I don't suggest there is a significant problem there, actually, but there is something a bit awkward in that question mark...at least to my reading. I'm not sure how you might "fix" that though (if it needs fixing at all...not my call...entirely up to you). I worked through some alternatives in my head, but none of them seem better, so I won't even reveal or suggest them. But you might take another look at it. Food for thought.
Again, truly an accomplished poem. Thank you for posting it.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thanks
Comment from Spiritual Echo
This is tougher, stronger and deeper than I've read in the past.
I think you should go way down into your dark side and pull out all the stops.
There's a;most a hint of outrage and if you find it I'm pretty sure you can sell the lyrics.
I always enjpy your poetry.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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This is tougher, stronger and deeper than I've read in the past.
I think you should go way down into your dark side and pull out all the stops.
There's a;most a hint of outrage and if you find it I'm pretty sure you can sell the lyrics.
I always enjpy your poetry.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2010
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2010
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thanks