Comment from Mariea

Excellent

Good morning Barbara. Another good chapter, as usual. The story stays consistent and develops believeably as it progresses. Looking for the next chapter.

Have a great easter, regards Mia

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Thank you for your kind words.

Comment from Rama Rao

Excellent

I always wait for the weekend to read your chapter. I'm sorry to note you'd computer issues.
This mini chapter was like a mini skirt of a woman, very intriguing. You brought in a new element and friction between Leya and Steven in their otherwise smooth going lives. Now I want to know why Steven was so cut up about the issue.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

I am not sure your followed this from the beginning. Leya tried to seduce Steven so she wouldn't have to marry Carlos, plus she lied to him. So there has been a trust issue and this added fuel to the fire. Thank you for your review.

Comment from Juliette Chamberlain

Excellent

Are these two ever going to be able to get rid of all the misunderstandings, I ask myself.
Their marriage is certainly not going to be boring.
It may have the potential to be shortlived (although I don't think this will happen)but it will certainly never be boring.
Enjoyable chapter.

Happy Easter.

Juliette

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Thank you for your kind review. Nope they definitely have their problems.

Comment from Dave M

Excellent

Barbara,

This is an excellent chapter about an angry Stephen. I'm sure they'll make it up eventually, but I don't know how.

I enjoyed this read and found one trivial nit:

"She handed the doctor a piece of paper with two addresses on it; her father, Hector Vegas, and Carlos Martinez, her former fiance'." You have a single end quote after "former fiance." You might have meant to put that word in quotes, because Leya certainly didn't want him.

Dave

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

I will take a second look at that area. I had issues there because evil eddie hated the natural accent on fiance, so I hand put it in so I wouldn't have an '@' there and now it's still not correct. GRRRRRRRR!!! Happy Easter!!! I appreciate your review and you support.

reply by Dave M on 03-Apr-2010

Barbara,

It is not difficult to insert special characters on Fanstory, if you know where to look. When you post something, look at the uppermost toolbar in the text window. Next to a smiley face is a capital Greek omega. This icon marks "insert special character." Click on it, and a window will appear, showing all sorts of special characters, including letters with French and Spanish symbols. This will work well with the text, but there is no way to use special characters in the auxillary windows, such as "background" and "author's notes." Hope this helps,

Dave

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Thank you for sharing that with me. I didn't know that. I find toasters challenging so computers and I have major isssues.

Comment from Begin Again

Excellent

Barbara...

Another bit of drama between the two love birds..Nothing ever goes smoothly, does it? Wonderful story as usual.

Happy Easter and enjoy your family...

Smiles, Carol

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Happy Easter to you and your family. Thank you for your kind review and support.

Comment from missy98writer

Excellent

Barbara,
Another excellent chapter of 'Tantalizing Eyes' you've written. Trouble in paradise. The honeymoon is short lived. Steven is irate when he learns the doctor with Leya and she's instructed him to sent conformation to her father and her former fiance that she was no longer a virgin. What the heck is Leya thinking? Your chapter was short but packed a powerful emotional punch. I loved the last line:

Leya tried to follow but wasn't fast enough. "Steven, I love you." She fell to the floor sobbing.

Thanks for posting. Bring on more.
Happy Easter. . . Melissa.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

HAPPY EASTER!!!! Thank you for your review and continued support.

reply by missy98writer on 03-Apr-2010

It's good your parents are visiting. Thanks for posting even though it was a short chapter.
Melissa.

reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

It's the natural end of the chapter, so it was a short chapter. If I would have continued one of the other parts they would have been too long, so I split them where I thought the best hook come into play.

Comment from fictionwriter

Excellent

This was a short but sweet piece. I wondered if Steven would be upset, guess so. I hope they work things out, but I'll have to wait and see. Great job.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Leya will be in the dog house for a long time over this. Thank you for your review.

Comment from BeKind

Excellent

You had med going from the first words. This story is very interesting, I don't know what is going to happen next. I know I better hang on for the next part. Good work.

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Thank you for the kind words.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Excellent

Very good writing but way to short for me. I was just getting into it when you stopped. I wanted to see how they worked it out. Good job

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

This was the end of the chapter. Sorry, most my post are at least twice as long. Thank you for the kind review.

Comment from Kashif Ali Abbas

Excellent

The marriage between Steve and Leya as official shows the pace of the story is building up. Leya has always been my fav character. The chapter was short but entertaining.

great job

K

 Comment Written 03-Apr-2010

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reply by the author on 03-Apr-2010

Thank you for your kind words.