Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 24 "Chapter 6; part 3"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
48 total reviews
Comment from Belinda
Peggy has all the reasons to doubt Steven, so does Steven to be upset to Peggy. And Leya has had the shock of her life in the previous chapter and is very disturbed now. Interesting chapter, full of question marks. I like Steven's deciciveness when talking to Peggy about the wedding band. Unwavered although he does have 'guilty' feelings.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Peggy has all the reasons to doubt Steven, so does Steven to be upset to Peggy. And Leya has had the shock of her life in the previous chapter and is very disturbed now. Interesting chapter, full of question marks. I like Steven's deciciveness when talking to Peggy about the wedding band. Unwavered although he does have 'guilty' feelings.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review and kind words.
Comment from c_lucas
Very good ending. Steven is beginning to tire of Peggy's petty games. His affection for Leya seems to be growing. This is very well written. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
appearances incase (in case) I come in contact
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Very good ending. Steven is beginning to tire of Peggy's petty games. His affection for Leya seems to be growing. This is very well written. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.
appearances incase (in case) I come in contact
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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I already made that correction. Thank you for your review and continued support.
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You're welcome Barbara. Charlie
Comment from Jordan Rose
Barbara, this is a great story. I have to admit that with each chapter my dislike of Peggy gets stronger and stronger. I'm excited to read the coming chapters!
I did notice a couple areas for tweaks:
"When I go to town, I need to keep up appearances incase I come in contact with a cartel member or informant."- in case is 2 words.
"He stopped and faces her."- verb tense- faced
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He stood by the door and figured the band..."- I think it's 'fingered'
Great job. Jordan
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Barbara, this is a great story. I have to admit that with each chapter my dislike of Peggy gets stronger and stronger. I'm excited to read the coming chapters!
I did notice a couple areas for tweaks:
"When I go to town, I need to keep up appearances incase I come in contact with a cartel member or informant."- in case is 2 words.
"He stopped and faces her."- verb tense- faced
"
He stood by the door and figured the band..."- I think it's 'fingered'
Great job. Jordan
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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The typos are fixed. No matter how many times I read something I still miss things. Thank you for catching them.
Comment from laurelp
And Happy Holidays to you to. I enjoyed this part of the chapter. It was about time that Steven asserted his control over Peggy. She is trying to stake a claim on him. Very good read.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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And Happy Holidays to you to. I enjoyed this part of the chapter. It was about time that Steven asserted his control over Peggy. She is trying to stake a claim on him. Very good read.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from ZeBestBlonde1
Hi again,
I see this chapter has a title-good one.
This is a good story, seems like a familiar one with so many of them today, still...I've NOT read all yours so you may have many more ideas, twists and turns to keep it interesting and set it apart.
Good characters, pretty good dialogue-could be stronger, but then it is every day life so there you go
I enjoyed reading your chapter and will have to catch up on the rest
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Hi again,
I see this chapter has a title-good one.
This is a good story, seems like a familiar one with so many of them today, still...I've NOT read all yours so you may have many more ideas, twists and turns to keep it interesting and set it apart.
Good characters, pretty good dialogue-could be stronger, but then it is every day life so there you go
I enjoyed reading your chapter and will have to catch up on the rest
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Thank you for your review. I believe this manuscript has twists you won't find else where.
Comment from missy98writer
Barbara,
Another excellent chapter about Steven and Leya. What a piece of work Peggy is, she needs to be bitch slapped. Talk about unprofessional behavior. Meow! I like it how Steven put Peggy in her place about the wedding rings. This chapter proves that Steven and Leya are in love. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I like where you showed us Peggy's dialogue. One word describes her behavior, jealousy. She wants Steven for herself and feels the vibes from Steven and Leya. What is Steven up to by this paragraph at the end:
He stood by the door and figured the band. This won't do. He grabbed his jacket and started out the front door. He stopped and called, "I'm going to town. Make sure Leya's protected."
I can't wait to read your next chapter to "Tantalizing Eyes". Your book is tamer than mine and a great change of pace from all out sexual desire.
Melissa.
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Barbara,
Another excellent chapter about Steven and Leya. What a piece of work Peggy is, she needs to be bitch slapped. Talk about unprofessional behavior. Meow! I like it how Steven put Peggy in her place about the wedding rings. This chapter proves that Steven and Leya are in love. The dialogue and descriptive scheme are well executed. I like where you showed us Peggy's dialogue. One word describes her behavior, jealousy. She wants Steven for herself and feels the vibes from Steven and Leya. What is Steven up to by this paragraph at the end:
He stood by the door and figured the band. This won't do. He grabbed his jacket and started out the front door. He stopped and called, "I'm going to town. Make sure Leya's protected."
I can't wait to read your next chapter to "Tantalizing Eyes". Your book is tamer than mine and a great change of pace from all out sexual desire.
Melissa.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Steven and Leya, do get together and way over due. I like to write innocent sensuality. You like the in your face sensuality. There's a time and place for both. Thank you for your review.
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I'm a bold gal when I write.
Melissa.
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And that's great. Like I said, there's a place for both of us. I love reading your stuff. I think my husband, likes me reading it.
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A naughty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
Melissa.
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So true!!!!!
Comment from adewpearl
incase I come in contact - in case
Peggy is so petty - I'm surprised she has made it so far in her career. I love how riled up he gets at the loss of Leya's wedding ring - in his heart he considers their marriage real, that is obvious. Merry Christmas to you too, my friend :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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incase I come in contact - in case
Peggy is so petty - I'm surprised she has made it so far in her career. I love how riled up he gets at the loss of Leya's wedding ring - in his heart he considers their marriage real, that is obvious. Merry Christmas to you too, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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I made the correction already. Thanks for catching it.
Thank you for your review and support.
Comment from Writeaway...
I always find your work inspiring barbara.wilkey, I found no spags whatsoever and you certainly left me wondering what's going to happen next, excellent job, keep writing!!
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reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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I always find your work inspiring barbara.wilkey, I found no spags whatsoever and you certainly left me wondering what's going to happen next, excellent job, keep writing!!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Dec-2009
reply by the author on 21-Dec-2009
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Thankyou for your review.