Tantalizing Eyes
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Chapter 3 Part 4"Dishonesty VS Love. Which will win?
44 total reviews
Comment from Heidixoxo
What a fantastic story....You did a nice job in the creation of this and your characters are fablulous. They seem so real as does your story. Best of luck to you in all your future writings. xoxo
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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What a fantastic story....You did a nice job in the creation of this and your characters are fablulous. They seem so real as does your story. Best of luck to you in all your future writings. xoxo
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kind words.
Comment from c_lucas
This is very well written and Steven is in for a really rough time to maintain his role. Very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
When ... do you ... want ... to do ... um ... {does (I take it, this is showing his nervousness)}... this?"
Second review
This story has been greatly enhanced since my first review.
Error
her brother's furry (fury)
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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This is very well written and Steven is in for a really rough time to maintain his role. Very good imagery and descriptive scheme.
When ... do you ... want ... to do ... um ... {does (I take it, this is showing his nervousness)}... this?"
Second review
This story has been greatly enhanced since my first review.
Error
her brother's furry (fury)
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Yes, does it work or not???
Thank you for your review. I appreciate your kindness.
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You're welcome, Barbara. It works for me. Charlie
Comment from dportwood
I like the straightforward manner in which you approace building this chapter into one that has a touch of seriousness as well as humor. To marry one not trusted is rather remarkable. I did notice this:
He pushed up his sleeved to the elbow,
'sleeved' should be 'sleeves'.
Duane
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reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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I like the straightforward manner in which you approace building this chapter into one that has a touch of seriousness as well as humor. To marry one not trusted is rather remarkable. I did notice this:
He pushed up his sleeved to the elbow,
'sleeved' should be 'sleeves'.
Duane
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Thank you. I'm off to fix it. I can't believe I missed that.
Comment from rhymer1
Your narrative and prose are spot on but your background review for new readers is confusing. Is Matt her brother? It should be made clear their relationship. Also, one does not 'answer an idea' one comments or analyses it.
slainte, rhymer1
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Your narrative and prose are spot on but your background review for new readers is confusing. Is Matt her brother? It should be made clear their relationship. Also, one does not 'answer an idea' one comments or analyses it.
slainte, rhymer1
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 19-Sep-2009
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2009
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Matt is Steven's boss. I wil recheck that.