Chasing the Elusive Dream
Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "Daycare Dilemmas"A southern couple's journey in the 60's,70's & 80'
44 total reviews
Comment from steevo
A good slice of life piece. A good opening hook and the ending reads directly back to the beginning.
I would suggest using don's age and name in the first sentence to involve the reader immediately.
A minor edit is needed here:
"When they're young, they they're so free and uninhibited."
I'd like to see a follow-up on the new day care.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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A good slice of life piece. A good opening hook and the ending reads directly back to the beginning.
I would suggest using don's age and name in the first sentence to involve the reader immediately.
A minor edit is needed here:
"When they're young, they they're so free and uninhibited."
I'd like to see a follow-up on the new day care.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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Thank you Steevo, I appreciate the review and your suggestions. Also thanks for catchint the spag. I've corrected it.
Beth
Comment from adewpearl
Who does this women think she is should be woman
I was a single working mom, so I totally identify. I had to take my children out of a place recommended by the school - a woman who offered daycare at her big old farmhouse - turned out she would just put all 8 or so kids in the backyard for hours at a time while she was indoors doing her household chores, and one of the bigger boys was hitting my children.
Luckily, they spoke up and it only lasted a week. And this is the place the elementary school told me to call!! My daughter is now a nanny for rich L.A. families - it's nice to have that kind of money - one baby has my daughter's undivided love and attention. Brooke
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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Who does this women think she is should be woman
I was a single working mom, so I totally identify. I had to take my children out of a place recommended by the school - a woman who offered daycare at her big old farmhouse - turned out she would just put all 8 or so kids in the backyard for hours at a time while she was indoors doing her household chores, and one of the bigger boys was hitting my children.
Luckily, they spoke up and it only lasted a week. And this is the place the elementary school told me to call!! My daughter is now a nanny for rich L.A. families - it's nice to have that kind of money - one baby has my daughter's undivided love and attention. Brooke
Comment Written 20-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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Thank you for the review Brooke. I'm sure a lot of mothers have been through the stress of finding the right daycare. I was so glad when they were old enough to really tell me what was bothering them . Of course, they didn't always do it. Thanks for finding the spag.
Beth
Comment from pixiemillie
I've heard many sad stories about daycares from parents who have spent time researching before choosing one. And to their disappointment it wasn't all the ads said it would be and there was always something traumatic happening to their children or to others. Head lice, impetigo, verbal and physical abuse- -and there you are on the search again- -another highly recommended place and the wetting of pants and you find out why. Finally, there is that special place where the children can be children with no fears of rejection or abuse. What a happy find.
Well written. I'm hoping the children suffered no ill affects, particularly Don from the wet pants ordeal.
Thank you and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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I've heard many sad stories about daycares from parents who have spent time researching before choosing one. And to their disappointment it wasn't all the ads said it would be and there was always something traumatic happening to their children or to others. Head lice, impetigo, verbal and physical abuse- -and there you are on the search again- -another highly recommended place and the wetting of pants and you find out why. Finally, there is that special place where the children can be children with no fears of rejection or abuse. What a happy find.
Well written. I'm hoping the children suffered no ill affects, particularly Don from the wet pants ordeal.
Thank you and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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Thank you for the nice review and the comments. He had more fears growing up than my other children but he has adjusted well as an adult. I guess some children are more sensitive. He probably took after his mother.
Beth
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You know Beth, I've read that little boys ARE more like their Mothers and little girls more like their Fathers- -I know that is the absolute truth in my family. All the girls so like Dad in their expressions and the boys, never met a stranger, like Mother.
Comment from wierdgrace
This is so wonderful, I agreed with the ending, and the emotions throughout, your characters, and the artwork you choose is wonderful, thank you so much for sharing this found no errors or revisions,
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reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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This is so wonderful, I agreed with the ending, and the emotions throughout, your characters, and the artwork you choose is wonderful, thank you so much for sharing this found no errors or revisions,
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jul-2009
reply by the author on 20-Jul-2009
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Thank you. I'm glad you liked it and I do appreciate your comments.
Beth
